


Keep Kissing Girls in the Street

by elcten881



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Do not repost, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Romance, self love, selfhate, welcomemat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 49,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elcten881/pseuds/elcten881
Summary: A party on the first week of school sets of a chain of self discovery for senior Chou Tzuyu. From denial to new friends to love to self acceptance, Tzuyu’s life is going to turn upside down and she only has Rosé to blame.
Relationships: Chong Ting Yan | Elkie/Chou Tzuyu, Chou Tzuyu/Lee Siyeon, Kang Daniel/Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Kim Dahyun/Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo, Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé, Yoo Jeongyeon/Park Jaehyung
Comments: 47
Kudos: 149





	1. Prologue - Shower Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE

**Prologue-Shower Thoughts**

It had been a strange birthday present to most.

While most seventeen year olds would request a video game, a make-up palet or even a book, Tzuyu’s parents had been given a very different wish.Their youngest child and only daughter had instead asked for a gym membership. It had shocked both parental figures since Tzuyu was not in anyway in need of losing weight. What on earth would she need a gym membership for? But she had never asked for much and she was a good kid really, so they paid for the highest tier of membership for the best gym nearby.

Tzuyu’s motives had been kept away from them though. The secret world of societal pressures and the judgement of her peers made her long to change herself. The school she attended was Twice-Christ Catholic School, a public religious school. None of the attendees were particularly religious, it was just the only school in their district, but this idea of godly perfection created unrealistic beauty standards.

Sure, Tzuyu was thin and she had often been told she had a pretty face, but that didn’t stop her feeling uncomfortable in her own skin. If you were to ask the specific reason for her discomfort she would just offer a shrug, she didn’t really know where it stemmed from. All she knew was that something about herself was off and being the only one that seemed to notice it, Tzuyu made certain that anything pointed out to her was rectified.

The reason for the gym membership had been a conversation with Mina, one of the girls in Tzuyu’s friend group. Tzuyu and Mina weren’t particularly close, Mina was closer to Sana and Tzuyu had Chaeyoung, but for some reason Tzuyu always found herself wanting to be closer. Before school broke up for summer, Mina had talked about how she had trouble maintaining her abs and made a fleeting comment about how Momo could keep hers so effortlessly.

She didn’t know why but Mina making this comment stuck with her. Her lack of visible abdominal muscles on her flat tummy fixated. The way Mina had spoken about Momo so wistfully had made Tzuyu jealous. Assuming this jealousy was over not having abs herself, Tzuyu decided to go to the gym and work out more. Momo, being the sweetheart she was, had given Tzuyu her work out regimen to follow.

Thus, there she is - wrapping up her workout by turning down the treadmill speed to a leisurely jog. Fatigue set in as she began to cool down, sweat drenching her head to toe. As she began to relax and get back her breath she wondered whether or not to brave the public shower in the women’s changing room. Tzuyu always felt awkward around nudity, especially in situations like the communal shower. But she couldn’t walk back in this state, if someone from school saw she’d be a joke before her senior year even started.

Finally turning off the machine, she decided a quick shower to relax her tensed muscles wouldn’t hurt. Grabbing her waterbottle she went out to the changing room, only to nearly crash into someone while stepping into the hall.

“Oh! Sorry!” The gentleman yelped, “I was picking some music, my bad.”

Tzuyu recognised him from her school and mentally cursed. Dowoon, at least she thinks that was his name, was the drummer in Jeongyeon’s boyfriend’s (Jae) band. So not only did this boy go to TCC, he was also a friend of a friend which somehow made Tzuyu feel more self-conscious.

“It’s Tzuyu, right?” He asked, kindly,

Oh great! Tzuyu’s dripping with sweat and looks like she’s just run a marathon and he wants to exchange pleasantries.

“Y-Yeah,” She answered, not one to be rude, “My friend Jeongyeon is Jae’s girlfriend.”

“Of course!” Dowoon smiled, “You excited for school to start?”

Yay, more awkwardness.

“Is anyone?” Was Tzuyu’s quiet response,

“True…”

Silence.

Painful, painful silence.

“Well you should…uhh…go,” Dowoon stammered, “I’ll see you around!”

Tzuyu just nodded and quickly moved past him into the women’s locker room. Once alone she took a deep breath, not a fan of..well…people in general. Social awkwardness was her speciality, made ten times worse when she realised Jeongyeon would definitely find out about this interaction. Part of her felt guilty, Dowoon seemed kind but Tzuyu was just bad with small talk - preferring to listen as opposed to contributing.

Trying to push that conversation out of her mind, Tzuyu went to find her locker. Her father had paid extra for it so she could keep things like body wash for these moments. She gathered her shower things, undressed and headed towel-clad to the back of the locker room to the showers. It was more like a pen really, a white half-wall just enough to cover her body from the eyes of those changing, with the shower heads themselves on a similarly coloured but full-wall.

It was empty, thank God, so Tzuyu just folded her towel and placed it on the half-wall. Making her way to the furthest head she started the water, standing aside until it was of the appropriate temperature. Stepping under the stream, she felt her body sag with relief. Her technique was warm water and then switching to cold water at the end to soothe any aches. Applying the body wash she massaged her shoulders when she got to them, trying to work out the fatigue.

Then she was startled by another shower turning on.

Refusing to turn her head, Tzuyu stilled - suddenly self-conscious. Suddenly, it felt wrong for her to rub her hands over her skin to get rid of the suds. It felt dirty for a reason Tzuyu didn’t know. Was the other woman staring at her? Is that why she suddenly felt so uncomfortable?

She peaked out the corner of her eye and at the sight of bare flesh, Tzuyu went bright red and stuck her head under the shower. Her heart began racing and she felt almost anxious. Really, she felt guilty. Like looking at this woman made her some kind of pervert even though Tzuyu didn’t WANT to see a naked woman.

Though she didn’t find the sight unpleasing…

But she wasn’t _that way inclined._

She was just awkward, besides it was normal for people to be uncomfortable with others staring at them. Her wanting to have a proper look was just curiosity, not some secret desire. She wasn’t that way. Fighting the urge, her gaze stayed on the wall until all the suds had fallen away by themselves.

Tzuyu didn’t want to risk looking at the woman as she walked out, so she stayed under the water long after it had chilled until the other inhabitant left. The moment she could, Tzuyu all but ran for her towel. Feeling more comfortable now that she was covered. God, why did she have to be so awkward?

The brief glance of the woman played in her mind and Tzuyu felt mortified.

She shouldn’t be thinking of these things.

She wasn’t like that…

There was no animosity within her about people who were that way, it’s just every time Tzuyu had one of these thoughts she noped it out of her head and blamed hormones.

Yeah, that’s it hormones.

Awkward, uncomfortable, hormones.


	2. Chapter One - Girl Talk

** **Chapter One - Girl Talk** **

** **

Tzuyu always hated the first day of school.

She was an individual the preferred the quiet solace of her own personal space. School was literally the polar opposite to her preference. Luckily for her, Tzuyu was relatively ignored by all members of the student body. The uniformed masses crushed together in the hallway, focused on their own pubescent drama. The usual high school politics still reigned supreme, the jocks the alpha males, the cheerleaders head bitches and nerds shoved into lockers.

Tzuyu’s friends were popular. Jihyo was the captain of the soccer team, as well as dating the first pick pole vaulter on the athletics team. Tzuyu’s school were big on athletics, their football team sucked so it was all they had. Girl’s soccer did okay and Jihyo was a good captain. Mina was also on the team and Tzuyu loved going to watch her play. She was a goal keeper and when she made those impossible saves she had perfected through training, she was stunning.

Sana and Momo, her other friends, were cheerleaders. They were friends with Mina and so when Mina and Jihyo began hanging out more the group began to come together. Jeongyeon and Nayeon were childhood friends of the soccer captain so they were pulled in too. The duo were previously unknown but when Jeongyeon began seeing Jae, who’s band played at every prom, she too gained a lot of popularity. By extension Nayeon did too.

The last two members of the group were Dahyun and Chaeyoung. Dahyun was Nayeon’s cousin and they were pretty close, Chaeyoung was Dahyun’s friend. Chaeyoung was popular among the alternative kids. She was the stereotypical indie girl. They made up a group of nine in total, becoming the most idolised group in school.

Tzuyu had kind of just fallen in with them though, something always felt a little off. She started at the high school just after moving to Korea, this meant the language was still somewhat of a mystery to her at the time. Jihyo had spotted her on her own some time after the first week and invited her to join them. The girls adored her, part of Tzuyu knew that, but there was always that little voice saying that she didn’t belong.

It always felt like, even when sat with the group, she was on the outside looking in. One on one was fine, but when the group dynamics were in play it felt like one wrong move could get her pushed out. Don’t get it wrong, the girls were some of the kindest and most genuine people she knew. But they had reputations, Tzuyu didn’t and at this school you could get ostracised for the dumbest thing.

Take Momo’s friend Heechul for example, he was easily the most hated guy in school. All because he got caught kissing Go Taeseob in the janitors closet. Taeseob had to change schools because the bullying got so bad he was being jumped on the way home from school. Heechul panicked and tried using Momo as a beard. But that was short lived when he decided to just embrace who he was.

The school tortured him, but as he was also a cheerleader the girls on the squad protected him from most of it.

There were a lot of students that didn’t fit the ideals of the school masses. Troublemakers, LGBT kids, nerds or weirdos - all shoved out by their peers for being different. Tzuyu didn’t really care, she never spoke to anyone anyway but she’d smile politely to everyone who smiled at her in the hall. There was only one group at school she avoided, more out of intimidation than a dislike of their character.

Four girls made up the schools biggest group of troublemakers, known as Blackpink. Even though everyone insulted them behind their back, the hallways would always part to let them through. People hated them because they feared them. Plus two of the girls, Lalisa and Rosé were dating and even the cheerleaders found them disgusting. Sana once said Heechul was okay because he wouldn’t perv on them, but lesbians would probably grope her in the shower.

Tzuyu had thought that was pretty big headed of her but kept her mouth shut.

She refused to say anything that would jeopardise her place in the group.

The only person she could really be herself around was Chaeyoung. The duo had become fast friends and neither really cared about their social standing so were happy to let others dictate the conversation. Occasionally sharing side glances when somebody said something completely ridiculous. Like the conversation they were having right now over the lunch table. It was regarding who they wanted to hook up with at Daniel’s party.

“Why are you guys planning this in advance?” Jihyo laughed, “The party’s not till next week.”

Nayeon rolled her eyes and threw a fry at her, “You’re boyfriend’s hosting, you get some no matter what. We aren’t so lucky.”

“Eunwoo already asked if I’m going.” Dahyun mumbled, bright red,

“Oooh!” Sana bounced in her seat, “Cute! You two would look so good together.”

“I don’t know,” She sighed, “He was probably just making conversation.”

Sana slammed a hand on the table, “No, no. Boys like Eunwoo are easy. They hide shyness with goofy humour, he asked if you were going to work out whether he will go. He likes you.”

There was a laugh round the table as everyone began teasing Dahyun. The girl in question began to turn more and more red and Tzuyu giggled at the exchange. Vaguely, she let her mind wander to who her ideal guy would be. None of the boys at school sprang to mind. She looked over the cafeteria but nobody really stood out. Looking opposite her she caught Mina’s eye and the older girl smiled at her which Tzuyu returned before looking away awkwardly.

She supposed she’d want somebody like Mina. Someone who respected the quiet, could give Tzuyu space when company got too much. She liked Mina’s nerdy side too, talking about videogames or soccer were the only times her voice would rise above it’s usual volume. It was nice watching her talk about her interests, her eyes would sparkle and she’d hop from foot to foot like a penguin. Sana was often praised for her duality, but Mina definitely had her own. Cute and shy when just relaxing with friends and this passionate fire on the soccer pitch. It was kind of hot in it’s own way…

_Wait…hot?_

“Earth to Tzuyu!?” Nayeon called,

“Hot…” Tzuyu blinked, “I mean, what?”

“Daydreaming?” The eldest at the table asked with a glint in her eye, “About who you’re taking to the party?”

Tzuyu blushed, “No…there isn’t anyone.”

“No one?”

Momo looked at her, “Have you ever dated Tzuyu?”

“She’s never even talked about a crush before.” Sana commented with a playful grin, “She’s secretive.”

Tzuyu chuckled awkwardly, “I just don’t…do crushes I guess.”

“That can’t be true,” Jihyo whined, “Tzuyu-ah…don’t you trust us?”

Tzuyu whined, “I mean it!”

Mina decided to speak up and save her, “Come on guys, leave her alone.”

“Aww,” Momo pouted, “Mina’s no fun.”

Mina rolled her eyes.

“Well,” Jeongyeon put her arm round Tzuyu’s shoulders, “I know somebody that might like our little Tzu-Tzu~”

“No way!” Sana squealed, “Who is it?”

“And is he good enough for our Tzuyu?” Jihyo asked, ever the protective parent,

“Jae’s friend Dowoon has a little crush on youuuu!” Jeongyeon teased,

“Dowoon?” Tzuyu asked, “I only met him once!”

“You talked to him?”

Tzuyu shrugged, not liking all the attention on herself, “I ran into him at the gym.”

Chaeyoung sensed her bestie was in peril and so swerved the conversation, “Mina unnie, who are you looking at for the party?”

Tzuyu breathed a sigh of relief.

“Actually,” Mina smiled, “Hyunsik already asked me.”

As the other girls turned their attention to Mina, Tzuyu couldn’t help but feel a pang in her chest. It felt like jealousy but what did she have to be jealous of? Maybe it was that Mina had someone to take to the party? Tzuyu hadn’t realised that her not having dated anyone was weird. At least, not until the girls made it out to be something of interest. Even the knowledge that Dowoon liked her caused very little emotional reaction.

He seemed like a nice guy but Tzuyu just didn’t think of him in the same way Jihyo had talked about feeling with Daniel or Jeongyeon with Jae. Sure, it could just be the social awkwardness again but the point was Tzuyu wasn’t attracted to him. She wasn’t sure she found any guy at their school overwhelmingly attractive. Her friends were, that was a fact. They were gorgeous, there was no wonder they were getting guys left and right.

But Tzuyu…Tzuyu didn’t feel that way.

Was there something wrong with her? Why didn’t she fawn over boys or develop crushes on the ones that pursued her? Tzuyu was practically invisible, she didn’t have many suitors but the few she had were nice. But yet, there was no emotion for any of them. No desire for anything other than friendship.

Her mind went back to Mina. About thinking she was hot when she played soccer.

But Tzuyu noped the thought from her head.

She didn’t like Mina that way. Her friend was just naturally pretty and Tzuyu respected her.

That was it.

Right?


	3. Chapter Two - The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first high school party of the year and Tzuyu is dreading it...

** **Chapter Two - The Party** **

** **

Tzuyu had no clue what she was doing.

Stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom, staring at the dress she had borrowed from Sana. It came up a little short, a combined effort from her height and Sana’s love of skimpy party outfits. The elder girl had sworn up and down it was the longest garment she had but Tzuyu wasn’t sure she believed that. No amount of pulling provided the cover she really wanted, either too much cleavage or people would see her underwear.

Honestly, Tzuyu was tempted to just change into a suitable top and jeans. She was uncomfortable and didn’t like feeling this exposed. But all her friends would be wearing them, the last thing she needed was to stand out. High school was about conformity, even without the uniforms they wore in the building. Had she been a stronger person maybe she would be confident enough to explore her individuality.

But she wasn’t, she couldn’t even raise her hand in class. Teachers gave up on calling on her because she always looked like she’d have a heart attack whenever they requested her to speak in front of the class.

With a sigh, she grabbed a jacket so that she wouldn’t catch a cold and walked downstairs. Her mother was in the home office and only offered a grunt when Tzuyu said she’d be back later. This wasn’t anything new, Mrs Chou was a business woman through and through. Desperate to give her children the life she never had. Sadly, this meant that her children missed out on one on one time with her. Both knew she loved them, but Tzuyu missed her sometimes.

Though, this distance from her mother solidified a close bond between Tzuyu and her father. He was a car mechanic and worked out of their garage. They had extended the building out into their backyard so that he had the space to work. He was good too, even teaching Tzuyu and her siblings how to fix basic car faults and flat tires.

_“Ziyu, there’s no point paying someone to do something you can do yourself.”_

As per usual, Tzuyu found her Dad out in the garage. He was fixing up some old car, way too old to be kept running but if they were going to pay then who cared really? He didn’t look up as she came in, but did say hello. The hood was popped up so he probably wouldn’t have seen her anyway.

“Can you do me a favour, Chocolate?”

Chocolate was a family nickname her father had given her, he said it was because she was sweet. It made her cringe but he meant it in a good way, it wasn’t supposed to be as embarrassing as it was.

Her father didn’t wait for her response, “Start the car for me?”

“Sure.”

Tzuyu walked over and turned the key, the engine sputtering for a moment before dying out.

“Keep trying.”

She turned it again only for the same reaction.

Three times…

Four times…

Then on the fifth try the engine spluttered for a moment before leaping to life. Her father jumped up and did a little dance as his daughter giggled at him and turned off the engine. He grinned at her, basking in his triumph before looking his daughter up and down. Noticing her outfit he frowned.

“Going out?”

“Yeah,” Tzuyu replied, “There’s a party tonight, is that okay?”

_Please say it’s not…_

“Well I wish you’d change your outfit…”

_Give me an excuse to bail…_

“But as long as you stay with your friends and are home before I wake up tomorrow morning it’s fine.”

_Dammit._

“I trust you, kiddo!”

Tzuyu faked a smile, “Thanks, Dad!”

She made to walk past him before he suddenly stopped her, “Look, I remember these parties. If you don’t have a way to get home just call me, okay? No drunk driving.”

Tzuyu’s annoyance faded, “I promise.”

“That’s my girl!” He ruffled her hair, “Have fun! No boys!”

Rolling her eyes she continued down the driveway. Her Dad was very much a stereotypical “fun parent”. With her mother always working and her Dad more the type to instigate water-gun fights, there wasn’t a lot of discipline in their household. Still, she and her brother had grown up to be good kids so they didn’t really need a firm hand. Her older sister, however, was the wild-child. Currently partying her way through her first year of college. Not that their parents noticed.

As she walked to the party, Chinese curses were uttered due to the struggle caused by heels that were far too high. Eventually, thumping bass music was heard once walking down the appropriate street. The neighbourhood was far nicer than where Tzuyu lived, a row of houses that could only be described as mansions. Daniel, Jihyo’s boyfriend and party host, was home alone all weekend which made for the perfect time for a party.

Tzuyu thought Daniel was nice enough, they hadn’t really spoken much but he was good to Jihyo. Ultimately that’s all she would want for her friend - the best. There were already people all over the front yard leading up to the house, the front door wide open. Once again invisible, Tzuyu made her way into the house. Everyone was here; the jocks, the nerds, the drama kids…even the Blackpink girls had shown up.

They scared her a little so once one of them made eye contact with her she bolted to go find her friends as quickly as she could with those stupid heels. It’s not like they terrified her, it was this weird stomach churning feeling that made her uncomfortable. Either way she knew she was better away from them.

To her relief she found Chaeyoung, Mina and Jeongyeon sat with Jae and his band mates. The middle of the room had been turned into a dance floor and she spotted Momo in the middle of the masses. Catching her eye and waving at her, Tzuyu finally made it to her friends.

“Tzuyu!” Chaeyoung greeted, sliding up deliberately, “Sit!”

Tzuyu sat between Chaeyoung and Dowoon, not noticing the boy’s friends teasing him. Jeongyeon handed her a red solo cup with a grin, laughing after Tzuyu recoiled at the sip she took.

She coughed, “What’s in this?”

“It’s a vodka orange juice…without the juice.” Jeongyeon snickered, leaning back into her boyfriend,

“You’re evil…” Mina muttered with a smile,

Tzuyu put her cup down, “Jeongyeon is the poster child for chaotic neutral.”

Dowoon laughed a little to hard next to her and all eyes went to him, mostly teasing minus Tzuyu’s confusion. She didn’t think it was that funny. He coughed awkwardly, tension surrounding the group. Chaeyoung giggled to herself and Tzuyu looked at her in question, why was everyone being so weird. Luckily, as was becoming a regular occurrence - Mina saved her.

“Look at Sana!”

All eyes went to the opposite side of the room, to where Sana stood twirling her hair as she talked to a guy called Wonho.

“He’s the latest I see.” Jeongyeon hummed,

Sana had a new crush every week, it wasn’t that she was a player - she just flirted and fell for people way too easily. Wonho had been the latest, he seemed like a good guy. Tzuyu found herself wondering again why she hadn’t found a guy she liked, her friends were all boy crazy…shouldn’t she be feeling the same way? Momo was dancing with Taemin from the football team, Jeongyeon was cuddled up to Jae, Jihyo was inevitably with Daniel somewhere, Sana was flirting with Wonho in front of them and Dahyun and Nayeon…

“Hey, where are Dahyun and Nayeon?”

“Nayeon’s wingwomaning Dahyun with Eunwoo.” Mina told her,

Tzuyu looked concerned.

“Yeah, we all tried to stop her.” Chaeyoung shrugged, “You know what she’s like.”

“Chaeyoung?” A timid voice asked,

The group turned to see Yugyeom nervously standing there, he was in Chaeyoung’s art class. She had helped him with a sculpture for their final grade last year and since then he’d been painfully crushing on her. Everyone knew of course, nobody at their school really had secrets.

“Hey, Yugyeom!” Chaeyoung greeted, “How are you?”

“Great…err…would you…um….”

“Like to get a drink?” Chaeyoung finished for him with a smirk, “I’d love too, later guys!”

She jumped up and began walking away.

“Make good choices!” Jeongyeon yelled after her,

Tzuyu giggled, sometimes she was jealous of the confidence all her friends seemed to have. Suddenly, Mina slid closer to her so that their arms were touching. The slight contact made Tzuyu’s brain go haywire. It was like she’d been electrocuted and she could only put it down to not being used to being in contact with anyone. She wasn’t a fan of people in her personal space. Though Mina seemed to be an exception, probably because they were friends.

Yeah that was it. They were friends.

“So Tzuyu…” Dowoon asked,

_Great! A distraction!_

“Do you…like parties?”

Tzuyu smiled shyly, “They’re not really my thing.”

“Our Tzu-Tzu is a little shy!” Jeongyeon told him,

Tzuyu glared at her playfully, she hated that nickname. She looked at Dowoon again who looked a little green, maybe he didn’t like social gatherings either?

“You’re a drummer, right?” Tzuyu asked, throwing him a lifeline,

“Yeah!” He perked up before blushing, “I’m pretty good…”

“I heard you play last year at prom,” Tzuyu remembered, “You guys a super talented.”

He grinned, blush still on his cheeks, “Thanks! You know I--”

“GUYS IT’S AN EMERGENCY!”

And here comes hurricane Nayeon. She grabbed Jeongyeon’s arm and began pulling.

“Ow! Nayeon, what the hell?”

“We need to play truth or dare!” She announced, “It’s part of my big scheme to get Dahyun and Eunwoo together - so come on!”

“You guys wanna play?” Jeongyeon asked, shoving Nayeon away from her,

Only Dowoon and Jae nodded and the group stood to make their way downstairs, stopping to grab Sana and Wonho on the way. Everyone was ushered to an upstairs bedroom where a circle had formed. Jihyo stood shakily when she saw them and fell into Tzuyu’s arms.

“Tzuyu-ahhh you’re heeeere!”

Tzuyu winced at the volume in here and was more than happy to hand her over to Daniel when he approached.

“Sorry,” Daniel chuckled, “Someone’s a lil drunk.”

“I’m not a little drunk you’re a drunk little!” Jihyo told him swaying a little,

Joining the circle Tzuyu took note of who else was there. Chaeyoung and Yugyeom had been dragged in, Dahyun was sat next to Eunwoo who was joking with Hyunsik. She recognised JB, he was friends with her brother despite being two years younger - he lived on their street and the two boys used to play together. When her eyes landed on Rosé and Lisa she felt that twist in her gut and somewhat regretted playing. Rosé raised an eyebrow at her, amused, while Lisa moved her arm further round her girlfriend.

Tzuyu just went red and focused on her red solo cup.

Sana fell clumsily next to her, a little drunk herself. Immediately she clung to Tzuyu’s side, “Tzu-Tzu! You look so gooood in my dressss.”

“Thanks for letting me borrow it.” Tzuyu muttered trying to pull down the bottom of the fabric so she wouldn’t flash anyone,

“Here!” Dowoon pulled a blanket off the sofa before Daniel and Jihyo sat on it,

Tzuyu thanked him and used it to cover herself.

“Okay, nerds!” Nayeon announced standing in the centre holding an empty vodka bottle, “Spin the bottle and whoever it lands on has to do a truth or dare. Pussy out and you drink!”

“A-Are there any limits?” Mina asked nervously, “Like no stripping or something.”

“No limits but a good idea.” Nayeon winked making Mina shrivel into the carpet, “I’ll start!”

She took her seat in the circle and span the bottle, it span a few times before landing on Jihyo. Nayeon looked evil.

“Jihyo, truth or dare?”

“Given that I can’t straight too stand right now,” She blabbered, “Truth me, I do not fear you!”

Nayeon smirked, “Have you ever…I don’t know….peed in public?”

Jihyo didn’t back down, “You know I have! I used to pee against the wall when I was a kid cause all the boys on my street did - NICE TRY!”

With a pout, Nayeon shoved the bottle over to her. Jihyo giggled and span it, the bottle moving a lot more erratically than before. When it eventually slowed it landed on Lisa, Tzuyu felt the tension rise a little.

Said girl smirked, making Tzuyu’s gut twist more, “I’m no wimp. Dare.”

“Strippp!” Jihyo declared, “Your shirrrrt!”

“Jihyo!” Jeongyeon scolded,

“What? It was Minarii’s daree!”

Mina stammered.

Lisa just grinned and leant away from Rosé, pulling her top over her head. Tzuyu went bright red and stared at the floor, it was like that time in the gym shower. She felt embarrassed, like she would be a pervert for looking despite everyone around her whistling and cat calling.

A few more rounds went by; Dowoon also had to take off his shirt but Tzuyu didn’t feel as embarrassed by that one, Nayeon had to down suicide juice (a bit of everyone’s drink poured in a glass), Jae had to lap dance JB which was hilarious when they both went over the top with it. Now Jae was spinning the bottle, landing it on Mina.

“Mina, truth or dare!”

“We know what she’ll pick.” Sana giggled,

“Truthh cause she’s boooring!”

Mina glared at them, “I could do a dare!”

“Are you gonna though?” Jeongyeon asked,

She hesitated, “Yes. I will.”

Tzuyu was shocked but joined in with the cheer, albeit quieter than the others but still earning a nervous smile from her friend.

“I dare you to….” Jae paused as Jeongyeon whispered in his ear, “Sit on Hyunsik’s lap.”

An “oooh” went round the room as Mina went bright red, Hyunsik laughed and told her she didn’t have to but to her credit Mina stood and completed her dare. Everyone was stunned and let out a cheer, except Tzuyu. She didn’t know why, but suddenly she was in a bad mood. For whatever reason she didn’t like Mina sitting on his lap. Her gut was telling her something was wrong. Mina span the bottle and it landed on Chaeyoung.

“Oh! Oh!” Sana chirped, “I’ve got one!”

“Fine, you take it.” Mina muttered, still embarrassed,

“I dare you to,” Sana paused for dramatic effect, “Kiss Jeongyeon!”

“Ewww!”

“I have a boyfriend!”

“Wimps…”

Chaeyoung scoffed, “I’m not a wimp just because I don’t want to kiss my FRIEND who has a BOYFRIEND.”

“I’m fine with it.” Jae smirked, clearly teasing,

Jeongyeon elbowed him, “We’re not doing that.”

“Yeah, they’re both girls…” Dahyun said,

“What’s wrong with girls kissing girls?” Rosé asked, sounding annoyed,

“I--”

“It’s weird!” Jeongyeon snapped, “Look you two like that sort of thing, we don’t. We’re normal.”

Lisa looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t.

"Look there's nothing wrong with kissing people of the same sex." Rosé snapped,

"Yeah, when it's two girls it's hot as fuck!"

"Dick..."

“Come on guys,” Sana laughed, “You don’t have to be a dyke to kiss a girl, it’s harmless.”

Tzuyu felt uncomfortable, something about that word made her feel uncomfortable. Looking up she saw hurt flash through Rosé’s eyes. Lisa noticeably bristled but still stayed quiet.

“So you’ve kissed a girl?” Wonho asked,

“Yeah,” Sana shrugged, “For truth or dare once with Momo. It’s nothing - watch!”

Tzuyu took a sip of the burning sensation in her cup trying to stop feeling so weird.

“Tzuyu-ah, kiss me!”

Tzuyu spat the drink out all over herself.

“I--” Tzuyu stammered, “Uhh…”

“Hey!” Dowoon spoke up, “It’s not her dare.”

“Okay, okay!” Daniel kept the peace, “Chaeyoung, just drink and we’ll move on.”

Chaeyoung took a sip of her drink and the game went on, but Tzuyu didn’t really feel like playing any more. Eventually she excused herself and went to find Momo. That conversation about girls kissing girls made her feel off. Sana using that word felt like she’d been slapped. Tzuyu had never cared about the sexual orientation of others. What was wrong with being perceived as gay anyway? They were people right.

No matter how much Tzuyu tried to push away her concerns about that conversation they wouldn’t go away forever. The party for her was effectively over, so she told Momo and Heechul she was going home. They tried to stop and ask her to wait a while so she wouldn’t have to go alone. They even pulled Nayeon and JB over to try and convince her to stay. Instead JB had offered to walk her home and come back, stating: “Her brother will kill me if I don’t!”

Nayeon offered to go too, determined to hook up with JB and hoping once Tzuyu was home they could just go back to his. Tzuyu said nothing the entire walk back, letting Nayeon dominate conversation with JB. She was too busy trying to stop replaying the events of truth or dare.

Trying to stop remembering how hurt Rosé had looked.


	4. Chapter Three - The Afterparty

** **Chapter Three - The After Party** **

** **

_Bzzz Bzzz_

_Bzzz Bzzz_

_Bzzz Bzzz_

A lazy hand reached out from the blanket cocoon of slumber it had been resting in to investigate the disturbance. After patting the side table a few times, a head followed - hair messy enough to resemble Cousin It from the Addams Family. The offending object was the creature’s phone, buzzing to indicate a stream of text messages. Eyes squinting at the harsh light, the creature let out a groan at the time displayed.

Seven in the morning after a late night was unfair. Tzuyu didn’t even drink at the party, yet still she wasn’t in the mood for daylight just yet. Still, if the group were known for nothing else it was their tenacity. So the phone buzzed and buzzed, leaving Tzuyu no option but to check the messages. Who knew, maybe one of them had died? To be honest, one of them better be. That was the only reasonable excuse for waking her up and stupid o’clock.

**_**Yoda:** _ ** _Since when is anyone here awake at 7am?_

**_**MrsKang:** _ ** _I may as well be!_

**_**Yoda:** _ ** _??_

**_**Day6OfficialGroupie:** _ ** _Back read Tzu…Jihyo’s meeting Kang’s parents today and they’re going to be home in three hours_

**_**Sanachan:** _ ** _And the party got WILD after you bailed_

**_**Moguri:** _ ** _I’m pretty sure that Jennie chick set someone on fire_

**_**EverybodyLovesMina:** _ ** _Yes, Jin made a comment about Lisa and Rosé then poof - lit up like a Christmas tree._

**_**Yoda:** _ ** _That’s…rough buddy_

**_**MrsKang:** _ ** _Don’t you quote ATLA to me! Everyone get your butts here to help!_

**_**BunnyUnnie:** _ ** _I’m sorry I missed the part where this became my problem?_

**_**MrsKang:** _ ** _I swear to GOD if you don’t come and save me I’ll tell your mother you went home with JB last night._

**_**MCChaengChaeng:** _ ** _Man…Jihyo’s scary in the mornings_

**_**Sanachan:** _ ** _Poor Daniel_

**_**InnocentEagleKin:** _ ** _Why poor Daniel?_

**_**Sanachan:** _ ** _Oh dahyun bb you have much to learn_

**_**MrsKang:** _ ** _SANA STOP CORRUPTING THE MAKNAES AND EVERYONE GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HER_

**_**Moguri:** _ ** _Butts over her…_

**_**Sanachan:** _ ** _Jihyo is a lesbo #confirmed_

**_**MrsKang:** _ ** _Fuck you_

**_**MCChaengChaeng:** _ ** _You’d like that wouldn’t you unnie._

**_**Moguri:** _ ** _*OOOOOH gif*_

**_**Day6OfficialGroupie:** _ ** _Nice!!_

**_**MrsKang:** _ ** _Not you too Chaeng :’(_

**_**Yoda:** _ ** _‘Et tu brute’ is the phrase you’re looking for_

**_**EverybodyLovesMina:** _ ** _Lol!_

Tzuyu’s heart fluttered at Mina’s reaction to her joke. Chances were she was lol-ing the conversation in its entirety rather than that one specific Shakespeare quote. Still, Tzuyu’s heartbeat was now thudding in her ears. A twinge of intense affection shifting across her chest. But Tzuyu just threw her phone down, not allowing herself to focus on it any more than she already had. It could have been down to fear of what this meant or denial of what she was feeling.

Either way, Tzuyu took the easy way out. Getting dressed to go to save Jihyo rather than deal with that current thought process.

______

Part of Tzuyu wished she had just gone back to bed.

Being one of the last to turn up meant she had drawn the proverbial short straw. Leaving her to brave the basement all alone. That was until Chaeyoung stepped up, forever and always loyal to her younger friend. If Tzuyu got detention, Chaeyoung got in trouble to join her. Tzuyu wanted to see a film but didn’t want to speak over the others? Chaeyoung would yell louder to voice her friend’s opinion. They were the youngest after all, this gave them both a certain understanding.

They never treated each other as anything other than equals and it was the one thing that made their friendship so coveted. The older girls all babied them, which left them on an equal footing. Chaeyoung was someone whom Tzuyu trusted wholeheartedly. There was never any judgement in their conversations, only understanding and occasional advice. Well, advice from Chaeyoung. Tzuyu was more of an empathetic listener.

Long story short, the girls were more than happy to be paired up together in the basement and spared their unnies inevitable “boy talk”. It used to just be Sana, she had always been the more boy-crazy of the group. Everyone else just used to join Tzuyu and Chaeyoung in the eye rolls and withered looks. But since Jihyo and Jeongyeon found boyfriends it was like the whole lot of them had gone mad. Fixated on the opposite gender. It was beginning to get ridiculous.

“Woah…” Was all Chaeyoung said when she saw the state of the basement, “I don’t remembering things getting this messy.”

“Seems I missed a lot during truth or dare.”

Chaeyoung gave a laugh and they set about clearing the empty cups and bottles that littered the room. Tzuyu was just clearing off the sofa when she sensed Chaeyoung looking at her. She turned, raising an eyebrow in question.

“What?”

“Why did you leave so suddenly last night?” She asked,

Tzuyu paused before returning to clean up, not wanting to make eye contact for whatever reason, “I just stopped enjoying myself, that’s all.”

Chaeyoung hummed, returning to work herself, “Rosé and Lisa muttered something about you being homophobic.”

“What!?” Tzuyu looked up again,

“Yeah, cause you bailed as soon as people brought up lesbians. You looked super uncomfortable apparently.” Chaeyoung shrugged,

“I was an introvert at a party,” Tzuyu snapped, not sure why she felt so defensive, “Of course I looked uncomfortable.”

“Okay,” Chaeyoung laughed awkwardly, “You don’t have to be so passionate.”

Tzuyu calmed a little, turning over her next question in her head a couple times before finally asking, “Do you agree with what Jeongyeon said?”

“Which part?” Chaeyoung asked, laying on the floor to get all the beer bottles out from under the couch,

“About it...people like Rosé and Lisa, not being normal.”

“Well,” Chaeyoung pulled the rubbish into her black sack, “You don’t see many people like that.”

“Is that why you wouldn’t do the dare?”

Chaeyoung got up and studied her for a second, “I didn’t do the dare because Jeongyeon didn’t want to. I don’t care who kisses who. Why…do you?”

“No! No…I don’t care.” Tzuyu swallowed again, why was she asking about all this?

“Okay…?” Chaeyoung was confused,

They went back to work in silence for a while. Tzuyu found herself wanting to say something. Unsure what it was, it sat on the tip of her tongue refusing to come out. Like a confession needed to be made and yet she did not know what she would be confessing to. Instead it just hung awkwardly in the air around her, placing a strange tension into the room. Forcing it away, Tzuyu just grabbed a cloth and began wiping down the sticky side tables.

Why had she left early? If she were honest with herself it was when Sana used _that_ word. Something about it felt like poison. It burned through her chest as though she herself had been called it. Tzuyu was fixated on it, the look of pure defeat in Rosé’s eyes, the unspoken anger in Lisa’s. That word had hurt them. Them…two of the toughest people in school. Rendered helpless by a word. It had also lowered her respect for Sana as well.

To use that word so casually was wrong.

“It was the word Sana used.” Tzuyu confessed,

“Huh?” Chaeyoung looked confused again,

“When I left last night,” Tzuyu explained, “It was because of the word Sana used to describe…girls kissing girls.”

“Oh,” Chaeyoung nodded, “Why did that bother you?”

Tzuyu sighed, “I don’t know, it’s just a nasty word.”

“Tzuyu…” Chaeyoung hesitated, “Are you--?”

“No!” Tzuyu was quick to shut her down, “No! It was just that Rosé and Lisa looked really upset after.”

Not a complete lie.

“Well, it’s not a nice word. But Sana didn’t mean anything by it, she was defending them from what I remember.”

“Was she really though?” Tzuyu asked,

Did that really excuse what she said?

Chaeyoung didn’t respond and Tzuyu didn’t push further. Ultimately it was none of her business anyway, maybe Sana had good intentions and Lisa and Rosé mistook her. Who knows? For now Tzuyu’s focus shouldn’t be on the lesbian couple. They had nothing to do with her, she was nothing like them. Why did she care if they were upset? If she felt this bad then she could just apologise on Sana’s behalf at school tomorrow.

Yeah…

That’s what she’ll do.

She’ll walk up to the most terrifying clique in school and apologise for the homophobic language her friend directed at them.

Because bringing up that it happened wouldn’t get her beaten up. Right?

….

This could only go well.


	5. Chapter Four - Rosé is Terrifying

** **Chapter Four - Rosé is Terrifying** **

** **

Tzuyu always hated Maths.

Firstly, she just wasn’t good at it. The numbers jumbled in her head so it always took longer for her to work everything out. In fact she could only do it if she was able to write it down, even then it could take double the time it took everyone else. It was embarrassing, she was always the last to hand in her tests. Even though she wasn’t failing, something about maths knocked her already low confidence.

Secondly, Mrs Choi was the worst. Well…she wasn’t really. Most students quite liked her, she was fun and could joke around with students. In all honesty, a lot of students adored her. All except Tzuyu. See the problem was, Mrs Choi was the only teacher to demand out loud class participation. Which meant a lot of Tzuyu being called on to speak. If there was one thing Tzuyu detested more than anything else it was public speaking.

Her usual answer was “I don’t know” which always made everyone else laugh due the problem inevitably being simple. Mrs Choi always looked disappointed, even calling her to stay behind once or twice. But these “little talks” didn’t help. Talking out loud terrified her, so it was easier for her to fake ignorance. Luckily, nobody ever picked on her more than a couple of odd looks and chuckles. The fear of her friends’ popularity dissuading any bullying.

Long story short, she was pretty sure maths was the work of the devil and only set upon this earth to torture her. The only bright side is that she usually had it before lunch, a solid forty-five minutes of no school work which made her a lot happier. Tzuyu was currently sat at the back of her maths class, counting down the minutes to the bell. Her anxiety growing with every passing second. They all had to read out one of their answers from the work they just did. The girl next to her had just stood to give her answer, leaving Tzuyu to pray.

“...therefore X=17.” Selugi concluded,

“Excellent, Selugi!”

Selugi was Daniel’s twin sister and was nothing like her brother. She was insanely smart, like genius level and often made sly remarks about other students who didn’t do well. This included Tzuyu. She got away with it because her brother was dating Jihyo and Jihyo had begged Tzuyu to just brush off the remarks back when she was still trying to impress him.

“Tzuyu, number 17?” Mrs Choi called out,

Tzuyu looked up wide-eyed, ignoring the snickering next to her. Mrs Choi smiled gently at her and gestured for her too stand. Everyone was staring and the nerves caused Tzuyu’s body to shake as she stood. Opening her mouth, no words came out. The only numbers she could think of were in Chinese and definitely weren’t the right answer.

“Any time today, Tzuyu.” Mrs Choi told her,

“Uhh….”

“I know the answer!” Came Selugi’s voice,

“Very nice,” Mrs Choi told her, “But it’s Tzuyu’s turn.”

“I--”

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING_

At the sound of lunch beginning everyone began packing their stuff away. This was enough for Mrs Choi to get distracted, yelling the homework assignment out instead of waiting for Tzuyu’s answer. Taking her chance, Tzuyu packed up as soon as possible to make her escape.

“Saved by the bell, eh Chou?” Selugi quipped,

Tzuyu ignored her, stuffing her notebook into her bag and getting out of there before Mrs Choi called her back. Stepping into the bustle of the hallway, the masses swept her down towards the cafeteria. Pulling out her phone she checked the group chat. Chaeyoung let her know that the group were already at their usual table. Tzuyu was just trying to find the appropriate gif response when suddenly she bumped into someone.

“Woah!” Tzuyu went to fall backwards when two strong arms caught her and pulled her upright,

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Dowoon greeted, awkwardly removing his hands from her,

Tzuyu chuckled, “Nice catch.”

He blushed, “So…you…going to lunch?”

“Yeah,” Tzuyu smiled, “The girls are waiting.”

“Ah, cool! I could walk you--”

As he spoke, Tzuyu tuned out - getting distracted by something behind him. In hindsight she’ll feel guilty about not listening to Dowoon, but her thoughts from the weekend took over. The Blackpink girls were up ahead waiting by Jisoo’s locker. Her gaze settled on Lisa and Rosé, both with their backs to her, holding hands. The guilt of being perceived as homophobic reared its ugly head. Now was her chance to apologise. The hall was nearly empty and there was no chance of her friends seeing and giving her grief.

“--and maybe if you’re free on Friday…”

“Sorry, Dowoon!” Tzuyu interrupted, “I just need to go talk to someone up ahead. I’ll see you in there!”

She moved past him quickly, scared the group would move on and her confidence would never be this high again.

“Oh…okay!” Dowoon said as she passed, sounding a little disheartened, “See you, I guess.”

Tzuyu’s confidence was fleeting with every step as she headed towards the most vicious girls in school. Nearing them, the question arose as to whether this was a truly good idea or not. Turning back was still an option. She could just turn around and walk back towards the cafeteria. Her fate was not yet sealed! Just turn back around and abort mission.

Then she made eye contact with Jisoo and it was game over. The girl’s eyebrow raised and she nodded the others in Tzuyu’s direction. When they turned Lisa noticeably tensed up, stepping in front of her girlfriend slightly. Rosé for her part looked suspicious of her sudden appearance. Judging by the not-so-nice looks she was receiving, Tzuyu knew this was most probably a mistake. Especially since the hallway was now COMPLETELY empty. Nobody would hear her scream if they kicked the daylights out of her.

She stopped in front of them, trying to find her courage again.

“H-Hi…”

“What the fuck do you want?” Jennie asked, glaring at her,

Tzuyu swallowed, she could do this, “I-I…”

“You-You?” Jennie teased,

Tzuyu looked down, embarrassed.

“C’mon, Jen.” Jisoo said, “Let the girl speak.”

Jennie grunted but didn’t stop glaring.

Looking up again Tzuyu decided to focus on Rosé and Lisa, “I just felt like I should apologise.”

The mean looks were instantly replaced by confusion.

“What?” Lisa asked,

Bracing herself, she continued, “For what Sana said at the party. It wasn’t okay and she shouldn’t have said it.”

“Why are you apologising for what your friend did?” Rosé asked,

Tzuyu hesitated, “Honestly, I don’t know. Something about it has just really bothered me the last few days and I thought maybe apologising would make me feel better.”

The group exchanged a look.

“So when you bailed,” Rosé continued, “It wasn’t because you didn’t want to associate yourself with a couple of lesbos?”

“Of course not!” Tzuyu surprised herself with how quickly she answered,

Cocking her head, Rosé stepped out from behind Lisa. Studying Tzuyu up and down, “Did you tell Sana that word bothered you?”

“No…” Tzuyu looked down, “I’m sorry, I should have spoken up.”

She jumped when the quartet started laughing at her.

Rosé placed a hand on her shoulder, “Look, you’re okay Chou. While I think you’re weird as fuck for apologising for something you didn’t do, I can appreciate why you wanted to.”

“Not many people would, even the ones who really say this shit.” Lisa grumbled,

“So you’re cool with us.” Rosé told her,

Tzuyu finally gave a shaky smile, “I’m glad.”

“So how long have you been out?”

She choked on air, “Oh! I’m n-not….”

Jennie and Jisoo snickered and Lisa just raised an eyebrow at her.

“It’s okay, no judgement here.” Rosé smirked,

“B-But I…” Tzuyu began,

Then she thought about it.

That woman in the shower, the nerves when Lisa took off her shirt, the weird feelings she had for Mina…

Why the word Sana had used hurt as much as it did.

Usually she’d nope it from her head but someone directly confronting her about it seemed to click something into place. The four other girls looked slightly perplexed when Tzuyu appeared to get smaller in front of them. Beginning to look lost as each memory and unexplored feeling flicked through her mind. This was why she didn’t look at boys the way her friends did. It all began making sense. But the idea of committing to it, opening a bottle that could never be closed, was terrifying. She didn’t know if she was ready.

“...I don’t know.” She whispered,

Rosé and Lisa exchanged a look. Tough image aside, they’d been there. The “Oh Shit” moment could be terrifying. They may be mean girls, but they hadn’t intended to force that moment on Tzuyu.

“Hey…” Rosé began, “You don’t need to know, I’m sorry. I just assumed.”

“I-It’s fine,” Tzuyu stepped back a little, she always got defensive about emotions, “Doesn’t matter anyway right? Even if I was…not like I could act on it.”

Why was she saying all this to them!?

It was like word vomit.

“Why not?” Jennie asked, glare finally gone,

Tzuyu sighed, “I’m not that brave.”

The girls exchanged a look and Rosé put her arm round her, wanting to laugh when she tensed up. She knew Tzuyu was a nice girl, getting caught with the likes of them would definitely start rumours. Still, within this quiet giant Rosé saw herself a year ago. Struggling with her feelings for her best friend and not knowing how to take that leap. Nobody helped them, there was no gay guru to guide them. But maybe, just maybe, they could offer Tzuyu the guiding hand they never got.

“What are you doing after school?” Rosé asked,

“Nothing,” Tzuyu answered, “Homework, probably.”

“Not any more,” She smirked, “Come over to mine. No funny business.”

“W-Why?” Tzuyu asked,

“Because I think you need to have a night without worrying about what your friends think.” She said honestly, “What do you think girls? Should we adopt a stray?”

Lisa shrugged, not caring either way.

“Welcome to the group kid.” Jisoo told her,

“Secretly, of course,” Jennie added, “Don’t want the wrath of Park Jihyo on us for corrupting her little sister.”

“Of course!” Rosé chuckled, “Our secret member.”

Tzuyu felt herself smile.

They were probably going to jump her or something, but right now that didn’t matter. It had been a while since she had felt accepted anywhere. A moment of delusion would be better than a lifetime of sitting on the outside. Who knows? Maybe they would be able to help.

Answer the questions she had been to scared to ask.


	6. Chapter Five - The 'Oh Shit' Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Drug use! (Weed)

** **Chapter Five - The 'Oh Shit' Moment** **

** **

Tzuyu was terrified.

School had ended half an hour ago, the final bell bringing both relief and nerves. She felt slightly guilty, having lied to Jihyo about not being able to go back to her house with the others. Usually, they would all go back to the Park house to finish their homework and hang out. Her excuse had been that her father wanted her home early, this had earned raised eyebrows as Tzuyu’s parents never really took notice of where she was - it seemed unlikely her father would demand her presence like that.

Tzuyu never had been a good liar so she kept things vague as to not trip herself up. She couldn’t let them find out her real plans, Jihyo would freak and they would start asking questions that she wasn’t sure she could answer. All she knew is that Rosé and Lisa offered her a chance to understand her inner confusion. Tzuyu was probably just suffering from hormones, but finding out about the other girls’ experiences would help her work this out.

Though, when Mina grabbed her hand and asked if she was sure she wasn’t joining them, Tzuyu nearly wavered. But instead she just gently shook her head and explained that she’d see them tomorrow. After waiting ten minutes for the girls to leave the vicinity, Tzuyu walked the opposite direction of her house.

Which lead to now, her standing in front of Rosé’s front door, questioning whether or not this had been a good idea. Ultimately, she had no idea what would happen when she walked in. Their intentions weren’t crystal clear, there was no way to know whether they were friend or foe. Tzuyu had never been much of a risk taker but she was getting desperate. She had to know if she was normal or not and they were her only guides.

So with that in mind, Tzuyu knocked on the door.

When it opened, Lisa was there. She looked a little dishevelled but was wearing her own clothes as opposed to the school uniform. Tzuyu gulped, she couldn’t tell if Lisa was cool with her or not. Well, Lisa was mostly indifferent to everyone so it was really hard to tell. Tzuyu wasn’t the most emotionally intelligent either which made it all the more difficult. Standing to one side, the rebel invited her in with a nod.

Silently, Tzuyu followed her up the stairs towards what she assumed was Rosé’s bedroom. Her house was nice, not the type one would attribute to a dangerous gang member. But, given that they were teenagers, it was probably her parents house. This idea was confirmed when she walked into the messy bedroom. Rock posters on the walls, loud guitars out of the speakers, random mess everywhere.

“Tzuyu! You came!” Rosé greeted,

“I did…” Tzuyu replied shyly,

“Relax,” Lisa said, making Tzuyu jump as she sat next to her girlfriend on the bed, “You don’t need to be so shy. Rosé invited you here so feel welcomed.”

Surprisingly, this relaxed her a lot more now that Lisa had acknowledged her. Looking around for somewhere to sit, Rosé told her to drag the desk chair over. Tzuyu walked over to it, only to find it piled high with clothes. Lisa laughed, a strange sound to the newbie, telling her to dump the stuff on the floor. With a shrug Tzuyu did so and brought the chair back over. Once she sat down she noticed a box sat on Lisa’s lap.

Tzuyu was confused for a moment, then a small baggie with green herbs inside came into view.

“Is that…?”

“Weed? Yeah,” Rosé nodded, “Is that cool?”

“It’s your house.” Tzuyu shrugged,

Lisa chuckled, rolling the joint and not looking up, “I like this girl.”

_Oh thank God for that._

“You smoke?” Rosé asked, grabbing a lighter off the side,

“No, my friend Chaeyoung does though.” Tzuyu told them,

Lisa snorted, “What does God Jihyo think about that?”

“I think it’s one of those things everyone knows but never addresses.”

“Does she know you’re here?”

Both girls looked at her then and for once Tzuyu just looked right back, “No. She would have flipped…or come with me.”

“Yeah,” Rosé chuckled, lighting the joint, “I may not like her much, but I can respect and fear her wrath.”

Tzuyu giggled, “Jihyo is protective. She’s really looked after me.”

“And yet, you’re talking to us about your…situation.” Rosé pointed out, taking a drag,

Tzuyu blushed and looked down. The other two girls shared an amused look but said nothing, instead Rosé passed the joint to her girlfriend who was quick to take a puff. With a sigh she exhaled, sending a small cloud of smoke towards the girl in the chair. This brought Tzuyu’s attention back to them, Lisa grinned and held the sin stick out to her.

“Wanna try?”

“I don’t know,” Tzuyu stared at the offering, not moving, “I’ve never smoked anything before.”

“You don’t have to,” Rosé shrugged, “All it does is make you feel chilled out and giggly.”

Tzuyu thought for a moment before reaching out, shakily, to take the item from Lisa. If she was going to be open and honest about her feelings, maybe being less sober would make it easier. It felt weird in her hand and she was scared of holding it too close to the lit end. The smell she had recognised from parties and the girls top floor bathroom at school. But it was now even more potent.

“How do I…?”

“Just put it in your mouth and inhale,” Rosé explained, “You’ll probably cough a little first.”

Nodding, Tzuyu nervously brought it to her lips. Counting to three in her head she took a long inhale. The second the smoke hit her lungs, her body rejected it. Immediately she began coughing, moving the joint away from her mouth to do so. Rosé and Lisa began laughing and took it away from her, Lisa grabbed a bottle of soda helpfully placed on the floor and handed it to her. Thanking her, Tzuyu took a long drink to clear the burning in her throat.

It tasted like how she imagined a rubber band to taste.

“Okay,” Rosé said, once she had hacked her lungs out, “So not for you.”

“Maybe not,” Was Tzuyu’s croaky reply, “But I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”

They talked for a while after, Lisa and Rosé finishing the joint and deciding against a second out of respect for Tzuyu. There were no particular topics brought up, just normal conversation about school or movies. The more the time went by the more Tzuyu relaxed and found she had quite a bit in common with the two supposed rebels. Ultimate turning point being when Lisa began gushing about her cat and cooed over Tzuyu’s photos of Gucci. Eventually, they all ended up sat on Rosé’s bed watching some cooking show.

Lisa was in the middle, hand clasped in Rosé’s but, unlike when Tzuyu would third wheel Jihyo and Daniel, it wasn’t awkward. They were involving her in the discussions and weren’t sharing secret looks or inside jokes. It was actually a lot of fun. Why couldn’t all her hang outs with her main friend group be like this?

The sun began to set and Tzuyu had suggested she should go home, only Rosé had one more show to show her. At first Tzuyu was enjoying the plot but three episodes in she was INVESTED. The show itself wasn’t even that good, but she was transfixed by the female lead. She wasn’t the main character, but her struggle with self acceptance and her love for her female best friend enticed Tzuyu in a weird way. There weren’t many shows that offered these types of story lines and honestly, she was surprised at how relatable it was.

“So what did you think of it?” Rosé asked when they ran out of episodes to watch,

“I liked it.” Tzuyu smiled,

“Feel familiar?”

Tzuyu’s shy look told them all they needed to know.

It was surprisingly Lisa that broached the topic, “So, do you think you like girls?”

“I don’t know,” Tzuyu said, sounding frustrated, “I didn’t think I liked ANYONE until recently.”

“You’re a late bloomer, sweetie. That’s okay.” Rosé comforted, “Have you ever kissed a girl?”

Tzuyu brought her knees to her chest and shook her head.

“Okay, but your first kiss with a guy - how was that?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Tzuyu sighed, “I never really thought about it.”

Silence for a moment…and then.

“Do you want to?”

“Huh?” Cue might-be-gay-panic,

“I don’t mind Lisa kissing you to see how you feel.” Rosé shrugged, “What do you think babe?”

“If you’re cool with it.” Was Lisa’s response,

Tzuyu was bright red, “I-I couldn’t. You guys are dating, it’d be weird.”

“It’s fine with us, providing you don’t go all ‘You’ on my girlfriend.”

Tzuyu awkwardly chuckled, “As pretty as she is, I don’t think she’s my type.”

“And yet you blushed when she took her shirt off in truth or dare.” Rosé teased, “Look it’s your call.”

Tzuyu made herself look even smaller, “What if I am? My family would freak and I’m pretty sure my friends would ditch me. I ‘m not as confident as you guys, I don’t think I could deal with the stares and the judgement--”

“Okay! Okay, relax.” Rosé looked at her, the gentlest look Tzuyu had seen on the girl, “Start slow. Start with the kiss and work it out from there.”

Tzuyu thought it over. Maybe this was a good way to work out how she was feeling. She’d probably hate it and that would show that she’s just straight but weird. So she lowered her knees and faced Lisa.

The elder girl’s eyes were soft, almost comforting her nerves. Not knowing what else to do Tzuyu closed her eyes but left her face where it was. After a moment, she felt the bed move and a pair of lips softly landed on hers. Tzuyu froze instantly unsure what to think. But as Lisa’s lips moved softly against hers, Tzuyu realised she didn’t hate it.

She actually liked it.

Panic filled her and she pulled away standing suddenly.

“Hey…you good?”

“I-I have to go…” Tzuyu stammered, heart racing in her chest, “Thanks for…inviting me. But-But I have to…yeah…”

And Tzuyu bolted.

Leaving a stunned Lisa and Rosé behind.

They exchanged a concerned look.

They remembered this moment, the pure fear at not being able to hide your feelings any more.

It was terrifying.

But at least Tzuyu had her answer.


	7. Chapter Six - Is Tzuyu Gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short look into tzuyu's gay panic

** **Chapter Six - Is Tzuyu Gay?** **

** **

After leaving Rosé’s, Tzuyu ran straight home.

As she bulldozed through the door she vaguely heard her father call out a greeting. The idea of speaking to anyone right now made her stomach churn, she needed to be alone. Just an hour to process everything that had happened over the last few hours. Escaping to her room she locked the door behind her and stood in the centre of the room for a moment, letting panic wash over her. Memories flashed across her vision, all the information finally clicking into place.

The woman at the gym who walked into the shower. How the idea of looking at her felt dirty. She knew deep down that if she had looked it wouldn’t have been in admiration. It would have been immature, teenage lust. Her body was telling her that she wanted to look but that would be wrong, now she understood why.

It all made sense now. The lack of crushes because she noped every woman out of her head. Why she always felt on the outside of her friendship group. Why she always felt like she was weird. And she was weird. She wasn’t normal, that’s what her friends said. Being gay was “not normal”. Would she be bullied like Heechul had been? Would her friends stand up for her? Or would they call her the same word Sana called Rosé and Lisa.

What would her parents think? Or her siblings? They never really talked about these sorts of situations. For all she knew they could kick her out and leave her to fend for herself. Or they could ship her off to some priest or conversion therapy camp to have her brain washed. Her family weren’t religious but that didn’t mean they’d be accepting of her. The thought of her family, especially her father whom she idolised, turning their backs on her brought tears to her eyes.

Feeling dizzy she sat on her bed head in her hands.

The last thing she wanted was to disappoint her parents.

Maybe she could keep it inside?

Never date, never bring anyone home. Hide this part of her away and never act on it.

Closing her eyes, the feeling of Lisa’s lips on hers. Her eyes snapped open again and she realised faking straight wasn’t an option any more. That kiss had proved that she wasn’t like everyone else. That she was different. The kiss was enjoyable, she could admit that but that wasn’t the cause of her devastation.

It was the fact she thought of Mina during it.

She had wondered what her friend’s lips would feel like against her own. Would she take charge like Lisa did or expect Tzuyu to? It was then she had realised that all the special interest in the elder girl and the jealousy of her budding relationship with Hyunsik had stemmed from romantic feelings. How had she not realised? In hindsight it was painfully obvious how she was feeling.

Tzuyu liked Mina the way she was supposed to like boys.

And who could blame her?

Mina was sweet and gentle and kind. Stunningly beautiful, with a grace most people could never pass of without an aura of pretentiousness. She smiled just thinking of her, then groaned at the realisation of how bad she had it. God, Mina would think she was some pervert. Another stalker, fortunate enough to fight her way into the friend group.

If this got out her life would be over.

And yet….

Part of her slowly began to feel at peace. After a year of stressing out over her peculiar behaviours and blaming it on hormones or herself being a freak, now there was an explanation. There was a label. Thinking back she noticed a few occurances wherein she had developed a close friendship with a girl that could be classed as a crush. It explained further, her weird obsession with one of her sister’s friends when she was a kid.

She had always wanted to join them, despite being too young to join in. She had just wanted to be in this girl’s company. Had she been a boy, the adults would have cooed at the little crush. But she wasn’t a little boy….

She lay back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Wondering what her next move would be. Honestly, it felt like the weight of the world was on her chest. Tzuyu couldn’t even lie and now there was this huge secret that needed to be kept. Maybe she should have stayed at Rosé’s and talked it though. Somehow she was now filled with a new clarity about herself, whilst also even more confused than before.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed beside her. Happy for the distraction she picked it up, expecting more group chat shenanigans. Only it wasn’t them, it was a text from an unknown number.

**_**From Unknown:** _ **

_Hey Tzuyu, it’s Rosé. Don’t ask how I got your number! You ran off super quick and I assume it’s cause you have a lot to think about. If you want to talk about it with anyone you know where we are. We got your back, okay?_

A small smile fell on to Tzuyu’s space. The loneliness she had felt since getting home ebbed away. She wouldn’t be alone for this. There were people looking out for her, even if they were the last people she’d expect to want to help her. It made all the difference. Knowing there was someone she could confide in about these things.

“Chocolate!” Her father called from downstairs, “Dinner!”

“C-Coming!” Tzuyu called back leaping to her feet,

Before going downstairs, Tzuyu stopped by her mirror. She wiped the tears from her eyes, unsure as to when she had started crying. Grabbing the perfume from the side table, she sprayed herself with it. Just in case the smell of weed still clung to her clothes. Once she was sure she looked normal, she deemed herself cleared to go downstairs.

Normal…

Now more than ever she would have to fake it.

Because who knew what would happen if she didn’t.

Just. Be. Normal.


	8. Chapter Seven - Saying the Words

** **Chapter Seven - Saying the Words** **

** **

She cried all night.

Curled into a ball on her bed, she wept quietly as to not wake anyone in the house. The last thing she wanted were her parents to come in and check on her. What would she even tell them? Could she tell them? No, she wasn’t ready yet. Once she came out there was no going back in. Though the idea of her HAVING to one day come out terrified her more than the actual act ever could. The dread of somehow her family finding out before she was ready. Or worse, their disapproval after she had built her courage to do so.

Either way, she definitely wasn’t letting anyone know anything just yet. Well…maybe just people she trusted. Those people, surprisingly, being Rosé and Lisa. Truthfully, Tzuyu needed guidance and they were the only ones offering it. Until then she had to act normal around everyone else. Lunch with her friends, keep her grades up and continuing to float through school unnoticed. The less she drew attention to herself the better.

So she got up and got dressed like it was any other day. Afterwards she joined her father for breakfast and engaged in conversation, despite it being forced on her end. Tzuyu never was a good liar and now she had to maintain the biggest lie of her life. By the time Sana honked the car horn outside, she was already exhausted but part of that may be due to lack of sleep. Lazily bidding her father goodbye, she went outside to where her friends were waiting.

Sana always picked up Mina, Momo, Tzuyu and Nayeon on the way to school. Jihyo, as the first to get her license, used to pick them all up but Daniel drove her now. The second choice would have been Jeongyeon or Nayeon. But Jeongyeon lived on the other side of town and after what is known as Cereal-Gate Nayeon refused to drive them anywhere any more. Though Tzuyu maintains that was Momo’s fault. Thus they were stuck with the…unpredictable driving skills of Minatozaki Sana.

Nayeon only lived up the street so, to save from walking, Sana would just honk her horn in between both houses. Due to her fatigue, Tzuyu took longer walking over to the car than usual which meant Nayeon grabbed the front seat. Usually that seat was saved for Tzuyu, because of her long legs, but today Nayeon had snatched it instead. Not having the energy to argue, Tzuyu just got in the back. Hesitating when she realised it was Mina sat in the middle.

“Hey!” Mina greeted with her usual smile,

Now that she knew what the butterfly feeling was it had become mixed with the panic of what they meant. Not trusting her words, Tzuyu just offered a smile and got into the car. Pressing herself against the door as to maintain the very little distance between them. As Sana’s erratic driving began, they would occasionally bump into each other on the turns and each time it felt like electricity was running up her side. She’d just panic and press more into the door.

“Oh! I have gossip!” Nayeon chirped up at one point,

“Share, share!” Sana replied excitedly,

“Someone has a date with Eunwoo on Saturday!” Nayeon dished,

“He finally asked Dahyun out!?” Momo asked excitedly, “Aww good for her!”

“She was on the phone to Chaeyoung when it happened and appearently she started screaming.”

Tzuyu was happy for her friend, but found little interest in what was soon to become boy talk. Instead she closed her eyes and rested her head on the window, trying to get some sort of rest before school. She wondered if she’d ever feel that way. Screaming down the phone to a friend when a girl would ask her out. Wait…usually it’s the boys who confess to girls. Which girl had to confess their feelings? Who would ask out who?

Suddenly, Sana took a left turn too fast and Tzuyu’s eyes snapped open as Mina’s body pressed hard against hers. Tensing up immediately, Tzuyu moved her hands up to her head as if trying to prove she wasn’t touching Mina voluntarily. Mina didn’t notice the atmosphere and just laughed as Momo scolded Sana’s driving. Once she was able to, Mina sat upright and Tzuyu tried to regulate her heart beat.

“You okay Tzuyu?” Mina asked, nearly giving her a heart attack, “You look tired.”

“I….umm…” Think Tzuyu, think! “I was up late watching a new series.”

“Oh,” Mina accepted the lie, “What show?”

“Home of Glory.”

Wait…SHIT! That was the show she watched with Rosé and Lisa!

“I’ll check it out.” Mina smiled,

Tzuyu got a hold of herself before her heart melted, “You..err probably wouldn’t like it. It’s..in Chinese!”

Mina just shrugged, “I’m sure there will be subtitles somewhere.”

_Dammit!_

“I heard some pretty juicy gossip too!” Sana laughed,

Tzuyu sighed in relief for the distraction.

“What is it?” Momo asked,

“Dowoon asked Tzuyu out.”

“He did!?” Nayeon nearly screamed,

“He did?” Mina asked,

“He did!?” Tzuyu was stunned, “When!?”

“Trust you not to notice,” Sana cackled, “Jeongyeon said he asked you out but you were distracted by something and ran off before answering.”

“How could you not realise?” Nayeon was laughing at her,

“I was distracted…”

“By what!?”

Tzuyu paused, “I-I can’t remember.”

The laugh throughout the car was uproarious.

“Aww TzuTzu!” Momo cooed, “Don’t you like him?”

“As a friend,” Tzuyu said, not lying, “He’s not really my type.”

“Then what is your type?” Mina asked, nudging her,

“Uhh…” Be vague Tzuyu, “I guess someone confident, kind, funny….”

“Lame!” Nayeon snorted, “Give us names!”

“Uhh…” Tzuyu went red, “I…I’m not sure…I never really thought about it.”

“Awwwww!” Nayeon cooed, “Baby TzuTzu---SANA RED LIGHT!”

Tzuyu had never been more grateful for Sana’s bad driving.

She had never wanted to get to school this badly.

_______

The lunch bell went and Tzuyu began to pack her things.

She enjoyed her history classes. Learning about the past was interesting. It was just like when she would visit her Grandparents in Taiwan, she’d always listen to their stories. Finding out where you came from was a valuable knowledge, she liked to know her roots. They were learning about the Joseon Dynasty at the moment and Tzuyu found it all fascinating. Plus the teacher was a nice guy who, after realising she hated public speaking, never called on her to answer and only spoke with her privately when required.

He respected his students and earned the respect back. That was hard to do and Tzuyu appreciated the efforts.

Once her bag was packed she made to walk into the hall, only to spot Dowoon waiting. He was stood directly opposite the door, holding a rose in his hand. Luckily, he was talking to Jae and was distracted allowing Tzuyu to quickly make her way back into the classroom. Her history class was at the very end of the hallway making it a dead end. She would have to walk past him to get out. Fortunately, her teacher looked up when she walked back in.

“Everything okay there Tzuyu?”

Tzuyu jumped, “Sorry, sir. There’s someone I’m trying to avoid in the hallway.”

He leaned over and looked out into the hall, then came back with an amused smile, “The one with the rose?”

Tzuyu nodded embarrassed.

“It’s the ground floor, you know.” He told her kindly, “If I look the other way, you could creep out the window. But I wouldn’t tell you to do that.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, definitely don’t do that.” He winked,

She thanked him and when he dramatically turne his chair round, she ran and hopped out of the window. Part of her felt guilty but she was in no position to explained why she wouldn’t date Dowoon. Plus any lie she came up with would be questioned by her friends. Not even considering how mad Jeongyeon will be when she finds out Tzuyu rebuffed her boyfriend’s best friend.

Once she was hanging on to the window, Tzuyu dropped down the last few feet. Unfortunately her balance betrayed her and she fell backwards into one of the bushes planted back there. As she fell a very girlish yelp left her mouth and suddenly her knees were up by her face as she landed in an awkward position.

“Nice landing!”

Tzuyu groaned, “Thanks Lisa.”

A hand appeared in her vision and she gratefully took it, wincing as the bush scratched her skin. Lisa pulled her upright with a teasing glance, looking to the left the rest of the Blackpink girls were stood smoking against the back wall. Tzuyu looked embarrassed and picked up her school bag. She let Lisa guide her towards the group, Jennie and Jisoo both also looking warmer than the day before. Still, even if they were being nicer to her it wasn’t certain that she could say anything in front of them.

“Why were you climbing out the window?” Rosé asked,

“One of Jeongyeon’s, boyfriend’s friends was waiting for me in the hall.” Tzuyu sighed, “Apparently he tried asking me out yesterday but I didn’t notice.”

“Ouch,” Lisa chuckled, “What’re you going to do?”

“Ignore him and hope he goes away.”

“Not interested?” Jisoo asked, genuinely,

Tzuyu went red and looked down.

“Hey…” Rosé reached out to lift up her chin, “Jennie and Jisoo are cool, you can be honest.”

“We don’t care enough to spread your shit.” Jennie shrugged, happily puffing away on her death stick,

Tzuyu took a deep breath, mulling it over. She needed people to confide in, the car ride with Mina proving that this would be extremely difficult if she couldn’t talk to anyone about this. Rosé and Lisa had already offered their support and she supposed that if they trusted Jennie and Jisoo then she could too. Besides, if it all came out and went wrong then at least she could awkwardly cling to them instead.

“I’m…”

It was then she realised that she had never said it out loud before.

“I-I’m…”

What was she? A lesbian? Bisexual?

“Err…”

No…she couldn’t be bi. She was pretty sure she had no interest in boys whatsoever.

“I…”

Don’t overcomplicate things.

“...umm…”

Relax. Keep it simple.

“I’m…gay.”

A pause.

She looked up and found Lisa smiling at her. Suddenly, Rosé pulled her into a hug and Tzuyu let herself relax into it. When she pulled away, Rosé was also smiling and this warm feeling settled in Tzuyu’s chest. It was like relief, but more than that. Like this huge weight was now off of her and she was light enough to float. It was nice. Even after divulging her biggest secret she didn’t feel vulnerable, she felt almost happy.

“That’s the first time you’ve said it, right?” Rosé asked,

Tzuyu nodded, feeling her own smile spread across her face.

“Congratulations.” Jisoo smiled back, kindly,

“You…You wont tell anyone right?”

“No!” Jisoo told her, honestly, “Of course not. I’m not that cruel and Jennie…”

“I don’t care.”

“Jennie doesn’t care.”

Tzuyu laughed, despite herself.

She spent the lunch period with them. Ignoring her friends texts for the time being. It was nice, no interrogations or boy talk. Just Blackpink joking and making fun of each other and Tzuyu giggling along. For the rest of the day she floated on the high of coming out. Dodging her friends and Dowoon for the day wasn’t pleasant but it still didn’t dampen her mood.

For once she allowed herself to be proud.

She had done it.

Ripped off the band-aid.

Opened the bottle.

Tzuyu was gay and she was fine with that.


	9. Chapter Eight - Dowoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one night - go me!

** **Chapter Eight - Dowoon** **

The end of the day rolled round and Tzuyu was walking with Chaeyoung and Dahyun to Jihyo’s.

Usually she would get a ride with Sana again but Dowoon had been waiting by her car, so she ran to catch up with her fellow maknaes. Claiming to fancy the walk rather than cram herself into Sana’s death trap again. She had felt better after her nap during study hall, more energetic at least, so the walk wouldn’t leave her dead on her feet. It was pleasant enough. Chaeyoung liked walking so she could stop by this indie coffee shop and Dahyun didn’t mind joining her so they walked this route a lot.

Tzuyu just let them talk, content to just listen. They were talking about some album that Chaeyoung had found by this up and coming no-name band neither of them had ever heard of. Dahyun was making fun of the band just to rile her up, knowing Chaeyoung could be a vicious little hipster when she wanted to be and it was fun to get a rise out of her. Once they had their coffee and were walking down Jihyo’s street, Tzuyu decided to save her friend.

“So…apparently Eunwoo asked you out.” Tzuyu said,

Chaeyoung started cackling and Dahyun blushed.

“Tzuyu-ah!” Dahyun whined, “Not you too!”

“Dahyun’s got a boyfriend! Dahyun’s got a boyfriend!” Chaeyoung chanted as she danced down the pavement,

“Yeah, yeah,” Dahyun snapped, “Laugh it up tiny! Wait till Nayeon finds out her precious baby was hooking up with Yugyeom at Daniel’s party!”

That stopped the dancing.

“Chaeyoung!” Tzuyu shouted, shocked,

“Making out is not a date thought!” Chaeyoung defended,

“His hand on your boob is a few steps higher than a date.” Dahyun teased,

“Chaeyoung!”

“Shut up!” Chaeyoung groaned, “Everyone has their own pace.”

“Nope.” Dahyun snickered, “Eight dates and then hanky panky.”

“Hanky panky?” Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow, “Eight dates is forever though.”

“What do you think, Tzu?”

Tzuyu shrugged.

“Why are you asking her?” Chaeyoung snorted, “She’s never done anything.”

“How would you know?” Tzuyu asked, slightly offended,

“C’mon Tzuyu, we’re all friends here. Safe space.” Dahyun teased, “We know you’ve only so much as held hands.”

Tzuyu felt the need to defend herself, “Hey! I had my first kiss recently.”

The duo stopped abruptly.

“What!?”

“When?”

“Who?”

“At the party!?”

Tzuyu laughed, “What: A kiss. When: Recently. Who: None of your business.”

They wouldn’t let it go. It was her own fault, putting her pride first. But it wasn’t a lie, she had kissed someone. They never needed to know who. The duo still badgered her even as they turned on to Jihyo’s driveway. Now obsessed with the fact Tzuyu had been able to keep something from them. All the boy talk and relationship fixated conversations, yet Tzuyu hadn’t said a word about any of it. That wasn’t like her.

As they reached the door, Chaeyoung tried one more guess, “Is that why you’ve been avoiding Dowoon? Did you kiss and he was like bad at it?”

“No!” Tzuyu snapped, “I’m not avoiding him and we’ve never been anything more than friends. Please don’t bring this up to the others.”

“Okay…jeez.”

Dahyun hit the bell and Jihyo came to let them in. As usual the girls all spread out in Jihyo’s living room, all doing whatever homework they had received that day. Tzuyu was laid on the floor in the middle of her science work, or at least she had been trying to. Mina was on the armchair opposite her and despite her best efforts, Tzuyu couldn’t help but stare. She was just so perfect, having a crush on her was just unfair.

Most of them were giving homework a break for the moment. Jihyo was texting her boyfriend and Nayeon was telling the others about her night at JB’s. In sordid, unnecessary detail. Not that Tzuyu ever needed to know about her sex life, but still she found it interesting. Obviously, Tzuyu’s own…private life would be different. Would she even know what to do? Sure she only knew the mechanics of sex with a guy but she assumed they would take charge. Oh God…would she have to me the…what’s it called? DOMINANT one!?

Tzuyu blinked and chose to continue her science homework.

“Speaking of JB!” Jihyo interrupted, thank God, “Daniel said he’s going to bring the guys over for a bit.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they’re going bowling.” Jihyo added, “He left his wallet in my car this morning so is dropping by to get it. I told him to bring the guys.”

“Who’s coming?” Momo asked,

“Daniel, Jae, Hyunsik, JB, Taemin, Wonho, Eunwoo and Yugyeom.” Jihyo listed off, before looking at Tzuyu, “And Dowoon.”

A teasing “ooooh!” went round the room.

Tzuyu just rolled her eyes and focused on science.

“Come on! He’s cute!” Sana teased, “You’d look good together!”

Tzuyu sighed, “I don’t like him like that.”

“Never know till you try!”

“Tzuyu has some mystery guy,” Chaeyoung said, earning a glare, “She had her first kiss recently!”

“No way!” Jihyo yelled, “Who? I’ll kick his ass!”

“Nobody you know!”

“GET HER!”

Suddenly, they all leapt on her demanding details as Jihyo wailed that her baby was growing up and vowing to castrate whoever it was. Mina and Chaeyoung stayed to side laughing at her misfortune. The only thing that allowed a distraction was when the door opened, Daniel knowing the code to the door, and the boys walking into the carnage.

“What on earth is going on!?” Daniel asked with a laugh,

“Nothing!” Nayeon yelled abruptly standing, no longer sat on Tzuyu’s chest, “Right guys?”

“Err yeah…” Momo agreed also standing,

“That’s right!” Sana chirped,

Tzuyu was mortified, her friends were idiots. At least until men were around. Then all the crazy magically disappeared. It was fascinating. Though, Tzuyu knew that she’d probably do the exact same in front of some girl. The boys came in and almost immediately, Tzuyu noticed the pairings. Momo and Taemin were talking, Nayeon had re-ensnared JB, Sana was openly flirting with Wonho and Hyunsik making Mina laugh etc.

It hurt Tzuyu to see Mina laughing at what Hyunsik was saying. Now that she could recognise where the jealousy came from it also added some guilt. Guilt over not wanting her friend to be happy. Tzuyu knew that Mina liked Hyunsik, she had admitted it herself, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. She couldn’t turn her feelings off, no matter how inappropriate they were. It couldn’t even be suggested that Mina was leading her on, she gave Tzuyu no extra attention or anything.

It was all in her head and that was the worst part.

“Hey…Tzuyu?” Dowoon said to her after a while, drawing everyone’s attention, “Can I talk to you? In private?”

Her heart sank but she nodded, standing up. There were cat calls and teasing as the duo went out to the backyard. Jihyo yelling that “everything that’s in tact when they leave the room better stay in tact”. Tzuyu wasn’t even sure what that meant. As they stood on the patio, Dowoon looked so nervous and Tzuyu felt terrible. Sure, she knew this was coming but she had wanted to delay for as long as possible.

“I’ve been trying to get you alone all day.”

“You have?” Tzuyu asked, a little too loud making her wince slightly,

“Yeah…but I think you knew that.”

“No…”

“I saw you go out the window.”

Tzuyu shut up, having the decency to look embarrassed.

“Look, I like you Tzuyu.” Dowoon sighed, “Like a lot. You’re cool, funny and beautiful.”

“Dowoon…”

“I want to take you out.” Dowoon finally said, “I want to go on a date. If you would let me.”

Tzuyu sighed, “It’s not that I don’t think you’re a nice guy. But…I’m sorry. I don’t like you that way.”

“Please,” Dowoon begged, “Can’t you just give me a chance?”

Tzuyu felt helpless, wanting to agree just to go with the flow as she usually did, but she couldn’t lead the poor guy on. It wasn’t fair.

“I have some stuff going on and until I’ve sorted it all out in my head, it would be unfair for me to date anyone.”

Dowoon snorted, “So..we should just be friends?”

“Yeah..I’d like that.”

Dowoon looked at her, eyes sad, “I have plenty of friends, Tzuyu.”

He turned and walked back inside, leaving Tzuyu on the patio.She felt terrible, but it had to be done. He would get over it, at the end of the day Dowoon was a nice guy. At the moment he was just feeling rejected which was fair. She had been honest though, that could never be taken away from her. Tzuyu hadn’t lied to him, maybe only by omission but otherwise it wasn’t dishonest.

Not wanting another interrogation or to face the inevitable tension now inside, she sent Momo a text saying she was going home and to bring her school stuff with her tomorrow. As she put her phone away she found herself added to the Blackpink group chat.

**_**Rosé:** _ ** _Hey T, we’re skipping school on Friday. Wanna join?_

**_**Jisoo:** _ ** _Nothing illegal! Just meeting friends from another school at the park to drink and hang out._

**_**Tzuyu:** _ ** _I don’t know, can I think about it?_

**_**Jisoo:** _ ** _Ofc!_

**_**Lisa:** _ ** _You still at Jihyo’s?_

**_**Tzuyu:** _ ** _Walking home. Dowoon asked me out and I don’t wanna deal with the aftermath of my rejection._

**_**Jisoo:** _ ** _Ouch…_

**_**Jisoo:** _ ** _Me and Jennie are driving back from the gym. Want a ride?_

**_**Tzuyu:** _ ** _You sure?_

**_**Jennie:** _ ** _B there in 5 - be outside or we’ll leave you._

Tzuyu chuckled, she supposed that was sorted then.

Without saying goodbye she walked out to the pavement. Phone blowing up from Momo asking her what happened, she didn’t want to deal with that tonight. This would definitely be school gossip tomorrow and plan “fly under the radar” was not working out. She still felt guilty, Dowoon looked so let down. But she’d never done anything to show she might like him so she was confident she hadn’t led him on.

She was relieved when she spotted Jennie’s car. Just wanting to go home and get some sleep.

Hopefully wake up in a world where Dowoon magically met someone else at the bowling alley and her friends spontaneously wanted to tell her that it was okay to be gay.

Fat chance of that happening.


	10. Chapter Nine - Don't be Suspicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Homophobic language

** **

** **Chapter Nine - Don’t be Suspicious** **

** **

During the drive home that night Jennie offered her a ride to school.

She phrased it like it was a massive inconvenience but Tzuyu was beginning to think that was just her way of showing affection. She would offer to do kind things but phrase them as a favour to protect herself. So the first step to breaking these walls would be to accept the offers and let Jennie know she could be trusted. Plus, part of her really wasn’t ready for the confrontation that would be waiting for her in Sana’s car.

The drive was actually a lot of fun. The group all carpooled together so Tzuyu was crammed in the back with Jisoo and Lisa. Apparently, Lisa and Rosé weren’t allowed in the back together but rather than ask why Tzuyu just blushed and looked down. The group had quickly adjusted to their newest addition. Tzuyu didn’t do the gang shit they did and they could respect that, they kept it away from her.

It wasn’t as bad as everyone made it out to be either. People thought they went around mugging people and dealing drug, but that wasn’t right. Sure, their connections did those things but all they did was steal alcohol for parties or snacks from stores. They weren’t the cookie cutter mould that everyone expected. They weren’t these perfect, moral, goodie goodies like everyone else pretended to be. They just wanted to live their lives and have fun as teenagers.

Tzuyu had been one of few people outside their tight circle to actually speak to them as human. They knew she had been terrified of them, there was an intense reputation surrounding the group. But not only had she walked right up to them despite the fear, she had actually apologised to them. Even though there was nothing the tall girl had done to spite them, she still apologised. She saw them as human and they respected that.

They also respected that not everyone viewed them that way and so Jennie had pulled over round the block from school and let Tzuyu get out to walk in alone. It had been their idea, they weren’t offended by it. Everyone understood how school hierarchy structures work and right now Tzuyu didn’t need to be caught slipping. It would lead to awkward questions. So reluctantly, she hopped out and said her goodbyes, agreeing that she’d like a ride tomorrow also.

Walking into school she headed straight for her locker. Momo had dance practice early on Wednesday’s and knew Tzuyu’s locker combination. So sure enough, her bag was in there when she opened it. Taking it out, she checked to see if all her stuff was there and once satisfied that it was she closed her locker again. Deciding to go straight to homeroom to avoid seeing anyone, Tzuyu began walking down the hall.

As she neared her homeroom a familiar face was by the lockers. Dowoon looked down. His hair was dishevelled, his shirt untucked. Tzuyu even stopped in surprise at how upset he looked. When he looked up they locked eyes for a moment. It startled her, the hurt and anger inside his. After a moment, he slammed his locker shut and walked away from her. Tzuyu felt terrible, the guilt of hurting him was intense.

But all she could do was continue to walk to class, reminding herself that she had done the right thing - even if he couldn’t see that.

Her homeroom was empty, minus the teacher who sat marking at her desk. Tzuyu asked if it would be okay to do some homework before classes started. The teacher nodded, knowing that Tzuyu was a good kid and wouldn’t distract her from the exams that needed marking before first period. She should have done it last night but it was staff drinks and she got black out wasted with the music and drama teachers.

Finally, Tzuyu was able to sit and finish off her science homework. Focusing all her mental energy on physics. Science was never her strong suit, but it was a nice distraction. Allowing her brain a time out from thinking about guilt, secrets or her budding friendship with the school psychos. By the time she’d finished the bell had gone for the start of homeroom. Whilst putting her workbook away, Jae walked in.

Ah yes…she had forgotten they shared homeroom.

Luckily, his seat was at the other side of the room but he did give her a cold look as he passed. Tzuyu couldn’t blame him, if someone had hurt one of her friends she wouldn’t like them much either. She only hoped Jeongyeon wasn’t baring the brunt of it.

You know what? Fuck it.

She had spent the last two days in a constant fear and guilt cycle. Today she was taking a time out. No more stress, she was going to go to her classes and dodge any questions. Then she’d bail on Jihyo’s, go home and have a nice long bath. Maybe she’d go help her Dad with one of the cars? Spend some time with him. No friend drama or boy drama. Just her and her dad having fun. Tzuyu could have smiled had it not looked insane for her to randomly start doing so.

It was all fine during lunch, even when sitting next to Chaeyoung in Geography or opposite Sana and Jihyo in Korean, she just didn’t engage. It was actually a pretty good day, not wrapping herself up in the bullshit of everyone else. Chaeyoung, Sana and Jihyo had thrown her a few concerned looks during the day but hadn’t said anything.

Then came lunch.

She had debated whether to just skip lunch in the cafeteria and hang out with Blackpink again. But ultimately that wouldn’t help with the whole laying low thing, so she followed Chaeyoung to the lunch line. They had walked in silence, not abnormal for them but Chaeyoung sensed something was up. The atmosphere was weird. Eventually, they joined Dahyun, Nayeon, Jihyo, Mina and Sana at their usual lunch table.

“Hey people.” Chaeyoung greeted as they sat down,

“Hey!” Dahyun greeted,

Sana looked at Tzuyu, “What happened to you last night?”

Tzuyu shrugged, “Needed to go home.”

“You walk?” Jihyo asked, “It was late Tzuyu, something could have happened!”

Tzuyu just nodded, “I’m sorry.”

Awkward silence.

“Oh!” Nayeon exclaimed, looking at her phone, “Momo’s bringing Heechul for lunch.”

“Ugh does she have to.” Dahyun rolled her eyes, “He’s so creepy.”

“He’s harmless.” Mina countered,

“Men shouldn’t act like that.” Dahyun explained, “Boys kissing boys isn’t right.”

Tzuyu stared at her lunch tray.

Chaeyoung scoffed, “Why do you care who he kisses? It’s his business right? Doesn’t affect you.”

“Still…it’s not okay.” Dahyun pouted,

“C’mon Heechul’s alright.” Nayeon said, biting into her sandwich, “Well, he’s alright for a fag.”

There was that feeling again. That icy, stabbing feeling in her chest when she heard that word. Before she hadn’t understood. She had no clue why words like that made her feel so hurt, so upset. Now it was clear, they were words that were about her. They were insults about people like her. They were hateful, vicious terms that her friends may call her when it all came out.

Names they would call her when SHE came out.

Suddenly, she lost her appetite.

“Sup people!” Momo greeted as she and Heechul walked over,

Jeongyeon trailed behind, glaring at Tzuyu as she sat down at the other end of the table. Tzuyu wished she had the confidence to stare back but instead she just returned her gaze to the table.

“I’m sensing some tension…” Heechul said, directing the comment at Momo but loud enough for the table to hear,

“Yeah. Some tension.” Jeongyeon spat,

“Jeong, chill…” Jihyo said softly,

“No! What the hell Tzuyu!?” She asked angrily, “Jae spent the night comforting Dowoon. Poor guy got his heart broken and you didn’t even give a real reason!”

Tzuyu looked up, “His heart can’t be broken, we didn’t even know each other that well.”

“Does it fucking matter? He’s really upset Tzuyu.” Jeongyeon continued, “He’s a sweet guy, doesn’t he deserve a chance?”

“Come on, let it go.” Nayeon rolled her eyes, “This is Tzuyu we’re talking about.”

“So!?”

“I’m just not interested, I’m sorry.” Tzuyu said, getting annoyed,

“Bullshit.” Jeongyeon growled, “Jae was pissed at me today for letting my friend break his friend’s heart. So what’s so wrong with him? Don’t play naive or innocent Tzuyu, it’s getting fucking old - you’re nearly eighteen.”

“I don’t have to say anything to you.” Tzuyu threw back, “It’s none of your business.”

The group were silent. Not used to angry Jeongyeon and definitely not used to pissed off Tzuyu. But both were at the ends of their rope.

“He said you blamed some imaginary problems.” Jeongyeon scoffed, “What problems? Too many friends? Too pretty? Too loving a family? What sort of problems could you have!?”

“Shut up.”

“No tell me Tzu. You’ve been avoiding us since the party.” Jeongyeon pointed out, “I’ve noticed, Chaeyoung’s noticed, Jihyo noticed…hell even Wonho asked Sana if there had been a fall out.”

Tzuyu stayed quiet.

“And now you turn down this cool, sweet, handsome guy for no real reason.” Jeongyeon laughed, “What’s the big secret? You a fucking queer or something?”

Tzuyu’s heart stopped for a second. Just a second of freezing, icy panic running through her. She snapped out of it quickly, wanting to defend herself and take the focus off herself. But Heechul saw it. He recognised that look in her eyes. It takes one to know one. When everything clicked into place, he pitied her. She was going to have it hard, but he couldn’t approach her about it. Never out someone. Ever.

“Of course I’m fucking not, what’s your problem!?”

That stunned even Jeongyeon, Tzuyu never swore. People were staring at them now, but all Tzuyu could think was: _deny, deny, deny._

_“_ I said no to Dowoon for my own reasons,” Tzuyu snapped, “It is none of ANYONE’S business. So don’t you start making fucking accusations, when you don’t know anything.”

“Woah, Tzuyu…relax…” Mina placed her hand on the fist she had clenched on the table,

The electric shock added more panic to the anger and she decided she needed to leave. Like now.

“You know what, I’m done.” Tzuyu declared standing suddenly,

They tried to call her back but she was done. Though when she stood and turned to storm out she walked straight into Lisa. Spilling the tray of food the girl was carrying all over her. The cafeteria went silent and Tzuyu froze. Would she have to get her but whooped to keep up appearances? Lisa looked down at herself then up at Tzuyu, eyes betraying nothing.

“I’m so sorry….”

For a moment nobody said a word, everyone watching in stunned silence.

Suddenly, Lisa smirked, breaking the tension with ease, “You’re good, Chou. Accidents happen.”

Then she walked away, leaving the whole cafeteria staring at Tzuyu.

_So much for keeping a low profile._


	11. Chapter Ten - Gay to Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE

** **Chapter Ten - Gay to Gay** **

** **

Tzuyu was walking home again that day, alone.

As she had been the last two weeks.

She hadn’t spoken to her friends since the fight. Not that they seemed to notice, choosing to ignore her until someone apologised. Jeongyeon was stubborn so it wouldn’t be her. The assumption was that Tzuyu would be the one to cave first Sweet, innocent, naive Tzuyu who was just having a bad week. Why wouldn’t she come crawling back? Part of her wanted to. A small sliver of her wanted to suck up her pride and just apologise.

But she was still mad. Who was Jeongyeon to talk to her that way? They pretty much ignore her most of the time and the moment she decides something for herself they jumped down her throat. It wasn’t fair. She was her own person. That was the biggest breakthrough she had discovered so far, this idea that she had this identity beyond her friends. That there was life waiting for her outside of high school.

For a long time she had allowed herself to only be labelled as “Sana’s friend” or “Jihyo’s sister”. She had never just been Tzuyu, she always seemed to be recognised as someone else’s. Like an extension, not a person. In the beginning that had been fine, Tzuyu didn’t really know who she was either. But now that she was starting to discover this new person in the mirror she realised that she was more than that.

She was allowed her own thoughts, opinions, feelings. It shouldn’t have been a hard concept to grasp but it was.

Something else she had discovered was how much she enjoyed walking home. It was quite a long walk but, as long as it was warm out, Tzuyu found it rather pleasurable. Ear buds in, head miles away, music drowning out the world - it was nice. Slowly, this time became the most treasured time of day for her. The only time that could be spent really relaxing was on these walks when she could just drown out the world.

This was what she was doing on that particular walk home. By this point she was halfway between school and her house. There were cars and people around but not many students walked out this far meaning there was no fear of being spotted by someone she knew. Though, the main people she didn’t want to see would be at Jihyo’s on the other side of town. Still - couldn’t be too careful!

“Tzuyu!”

_Spoke to soon._

Tzuyu kept walking, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. But whoever it was, they were persistant. Leaning forward mystery person pulled out one of her headphones, causing Tzuyu to turn with a start. Of all people to be stood there, she did not expect Heechul.

“Hi!” He greeted warmly, “Can I walk with you?”

“Why?” Tzuyu asked,

He shrugged, “I live the same way you do,” they started walking slowly, “Besides. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“If this is about me apologising--”

“No! No…” Heechul chuckled, “She was way out of line. I just saw you up ahead and thought you could use some company.”

“Oh…”

Tzuyu didn’t sound convinced, so Heechul decided to cut the crap.

“Look,” He sighed, “I know.”

Tzuyu froze, “Know what?”

Walking round in front of her, Heechul tried to send a comforting smile, “I _know._ Trust me. After you achieve a certain level of gay you learn to pick up on these things.”

Tzuyu gulped, “Please don’t--”

“Tell? Never.” Heechul promised, “I’ve been outed, I’d never do that to anyone else.”

“Heechul, I’m begging you.”

“I mean it.” Heechul told her, sincerely, “I just wanted to say - you’re not alone.”

Tzuyu met his eyes and he felt for her, he really did. The pure fear in her eyes matching the exact same glint that he once had. Heechul understood, he knew that fear better than anyone. He still remembered the night he had been caught with Go Taeseob. Laying in his room, sniffling quietly, eye bruised and lip split. It hadn’t been the guys at school who had done that. After the school called his Dad, the douche had smacked him down - hard. When he cried his own father punched him again, splitting his lip.

He had never felt more alone in his life. At that point he was the only out person in school, period. From top of the world to bottom of the period. If it hadn’t been for Momo, his only true friend, he didn’t know what he would have done. Eventually things improved, his mother kicked his father out for the abuse. He gained the protection of the cheerleaders. Now he was in a position where he could offer sage advice to someone about to follow his path.

“Thanks, Heechul.” Tzuyu said quietly,

The started walking again.

“It’s fine,” Heechul said, “And if you have any questions about the coming out process or want to vent I’m totally here for-OOF!”

Two guys barged straight through the middle of them, both wearing the same uniform as Tzuyu and Heechul.

“Watch where you’re going, Faggot!” One of them shouted,

“Don’t turn your back on him bro,” The other laughed, “He’ll try take you from behind.”

“Shut up.” Douche 1# scoffed, “Faggots like him make me puke.”

Tzuyu looked down ashamed, but Heechul had another way to deal with it.

“Maybe don’t deep throat so far then.” Heechul quipped, then he eyed him up and down, “Plus, you’re not my type. Too small.”

The bully scoffed and they both turned to storm away, flipping them off as they went, “Fuck you, fag!”

Heechul chuckled and looked down at his companion as they walked, Tzuyu was staring at him.

“What?”

“How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

Tzuyu swallowed, “Brush that off, give it back to them. Whenever I hear that word it makes my stomach feel rotten.”

“I get it,” Heechul sighed, “I can’t say it stops hurting. But you learn to deal with it.”

“It gets better?”

“No.” Heechul was honest, she respected that, “But the more you come out, the less you care about how people react to it. Once the important people know - nothing else matters.”

“What if the important people react badly?”

He could hear the insecurity in her voice.

“Then are they really that important?”

They walked in silence after that, Tzuyu mulling over everything he had said. Was he right? Would coming out really get easier? For now she chose to focus on the present. And the present was keeping everything locked up inside until she had to tell anyone. On Heechul’s part, he just looked at his companion worried. Maybe he needed to talk to Momo. Not tell her EVERYTHING but just let her know that Tzuyu needed a friend right now.

Could he do that? Was that his place?

He didn’t know her really.

She just looked so afraid and sad. He knew how that felt.

Suddenly, a car pulled up next to them.

“Yo, Chou!” Jisoo yelled out the window,

Heechul paused, what did they want with Tzuyu?

“Get in, we’ll drop you home!” Rosé yelled from the passanger side,

Tzuyu, to Heechul’s shock, smiled at them, “That’d be great!”

She then looked at him.

“Thanks for walking with me…and everything else.”

Heechul could only nod, watching as Tzuyu, Jihyo’s baby Tzuyu, got into a car with the most terrifying girls in school. As they pulled away, Heechul stayed where he was. This wasn’t good. They were praying on her. Lisa and Rosé might know something and if they did…who knew what their intentions were.

Okay…

Tomorrow, he NEEDED to talk to Momo.


	12. Chapter Eleven - Outside Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - I just want to thank everyone reading and commenting on this story. It’s not my most well written fic but I’m really enjoying writing it, so thank you for letting me entertain my bullshit :)

** **Chapter Eleven - Outside Perspective** **

** **

“Momo! Hold on!”

Momo had just left her last class of the day, heading out to the car park to ride with Sana and the others to Jihyo’s. The last few car rides had been pretty quiet, though. Everyone avoided discussing why but they all knew. Tzuyu’s absence had left a hole in their once tight knit group. A few had tried to broach the subject, mainly Chaeyoung, but Jeongyeon shot them down every time. They all knew Tzuyu would apologise eventually and Jeongyeon would give her a hug bringing everything back to normal. But it was taking longer than Momo had expected.

Tzuyu was never the type to argue with anyone, let alone them. Momo would have bet her life that she would have gone to Jeongyeon the following day to beg forgiveness. But she hadn’t. Due to none of them talking about it, nobody knew where each other stood. Everyone just pretended it hadn’t happened and stayed out of it. But if you asked Momo, she agreed with Tzuyu. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t like Dowoon in that way. Jeongyeon was in the wrong.

But if an apology would bring everybody back together, who cared who said the words.

“Momo!”

When Heechul grabbed her arm, Momo snapped out of her thoughts. She smiled at him, immediately linking arms as they walked. Heechul had always been a good friend to her, they had been each others first kiss back when he was pretending to be something he’s wasn’t. She had even been his beard for a while to protect him. In the same way, he kept creeps away from her at parties and made her laugh.

Who cared if he was gay? Heechul was her friend and that’s all that mattered.

“You going to Jihyo’s?”

“Yeah,” Momo sighed, “Sana and the others are waiting by the car.”

“Good luck!” Heechul laughed, referring to Sana’s erratic driving,

Momo giggled, “Thanks, I’m gonna need it.”

She went quiet as her earlier thoughts popped up again. Heechul noticed the change in her and nudged her side, “Everything okay, Mo?”

“Tzuyu still isn’t talking to us.”

“About her…” Heechul sighed before coming to a stop, “I talked to her yesterday.”

“You did!?” Momo exclaimed,

Heechul looked around, scared someone may overhear, then pulled Momo into the closest classroom. Thankfully it was empty, shame he wasn’t straight…would have made a great make-out spot. Momo sat on the table, watching as her friend paced in front of her. Then he stopped suddenly, nervous eyes meeting her own worried ones.

“I can’t tell you everything,” Heechul began, “She swore me to secrecy and you know how I feel about secrets.”

“Of course.” Momo nodded, “Is she okay?”

Heechul sighed and shook his head, “No…she’s going through a lot. Like A LOT, a lot.”

“Why would she tell you and not us?”

Heechul stared at her, “Because I asked.”

** **

She went quiet, letting him continue.

“Tzuyu’s confused and scared and angry at the whole world right now and I’m worried about her.” He ran a hand through his hair, “Namely the company she’s keeping.”

“Huh?”

“I saw her get into Blackpink’s car.” He told her, “They looked pretty chummy.”

“Blackpink….” Momo trailed off,

She thought back to the cafeteria, when Tzuyu walked into Lisa. Most people would have had their teeth kicked in for even looking her in the eye. But Tzuyu…Tzuyu wasn’t touched.

_“You’re good, Chou. Accidents happen.”_

Momo began to panic, who knew what those girls wanted with Tzuyu!? She was so naive and impressionable. It would be so easy for the little lamb to get eaten by the wolves. Ripped to shreds before she knew what was coming. If whatever she was going through was bad enough to isolate herself from them, she could easily be talked into anything. Momo wanted to ask what it was, beg him to tell her so that she could help.

But that wouldn’t be fair. To him or Tzuyu.

So plan b.

“I have to go to Jihyo’s.”

“Momo..wait!”

She did not.

_____

“Momo will you slow down!” Sana called,

Momo had been antsy since getting into the car. When they asked why she promised to explain everything when they were all together. Only letting slip that it was important and about Tzuyu. The moment they pulled up, the cheerleader was out of the car and heading for the front door - leaving the others completely perplexed. By slamming the door open and skidding into the living room she officially had everyone’s attention.

“What’s with you?” Jeongyeon asked,

“Tzuyu’s in trouble.” Momo told them, “Heechul wouldn’t say what exactly but from the sound of it, it’s dark.”

“So?” Jeongyeon muttered, “Doesn’t excuse her for being a bitch…”

“Will you stop!?” Chaeyoung snapped from the armchair, “Dowoon’s a big boy, he’ll get over it.”

“That’s not all.” Momo continued, “Apparently he saw her get into one of the Blackpink girls’ car.”

“Shit.” Was all Nayeon muttered,

Jihyo was horrified. When Tzuyu first came to Korea she had latched on to Jihyo like a motherly figure. Their bond was special, they were like family.The elder girl would have laid her life down for that girl and Tzuyu was always happy to blindly follow where she led. Everyone at their school called Tzuyu her little sister. Boys asked JIHYO for permission to ask Tzuyu out. Sure, she always said no but that wasn’t important.

Except when she told Dowoon he had her blessing. Turns out she didn’t know best for Tzuyu after all.

Had her little sister replaced her?

And worse…replaced her with Blackpink?

Tzuyu needed guidance, she needed leadership. Jihyo knew this. But would she really go somewhere else for it? Would she really rather join a gang than apologise.

“We need to get her back.”

“No.” Jeongyeon said,

“Jeong--”

“Not until I get an apology for the fight she got me and Jae in.”

“You know what!” Chaeyoung yelled standing, only to be immediately pulled back down by Dahyun,

Nayeon finally intervened, for once as the eldest and not her fake-maknae persona, “Only one of us should talk to her. Someone who can speak to her without it sounding like nagging or attacking.”

“That’s Jihyo out then.” Sana joked, receiving a pillow to the face,

“Mina should do it.” Dahyun suggested,

All eyes went to her.

Thinking it over, it made sense. Mina had always had a weird connection to Tzuyu. The younger girl was always so awkward around her, yet they seemed to keep good company. Plus, Mina would admit she was probably the most level headed of the group. Tzuyu seemed to hang on her every word sometimes. At the end of the day, Mina just wanted her friend back and for everyone to be friends again.

A simple life.

“I’ll talk to her after school tomorrow.”

“Atta girl Minari!”

A simple life, that’s all Mina wanted.

So she would get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The next chapter is ROUGH.


	13. Chapter Twelve - Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE
> 
> I’m sorry for anyone who wanted a MiTzu endgame

****

** **Chapter Twelve - Confessions** **

** **

“Okay, let me hold it and you screw it in.”

Tzuyu was out in the garage with her father. They had taken on a little project together, rebuilding an old motorcycle using some spare parts. He had sensed that his youngest child was down. Mr Chou didn’t like the idea of his daughter being sad but he also wasn’t the type to have long emotional conversations. Instead, the idea for a little project came up. There had been a news story about a man and his son building a bench to help him get over the loss of his mother.

They had built it to put in her favourite park by a pond she went to to. She would go and feed the ducks when she felt sad about dying or something. Mr Chou wasn’t a fan of ducks or parks and he had no clue how to build a bench. But he did know how to build a motorcycle. It was something he had always wanted to do but Jackson had focused more on his studies and Victoria was too cool to hang with her dad.

Tzuyu was daddy’s little girl, she just liked spending time with him. When he floated the idea of building the bike, she was all for it! To be honest she just wanted something to do that wasn’t staring at the ceiling wishing she was normal. It was fun, learning to build things. Creating something new and shiny from old, forgotten parts. For someone who hated talking about their feelings, it was a therapeutic project.

“That’s my girl!” Her Dad cheered after she finished with the screwdriver,

Tzuyu looked over the bike-to-be and smiled, “It’s looking good!”

“Teamwork, Chocolate - makes the dream work!” He side hugged her, pecking the top of her head,

Suddenly a scream came from the house. Exchanging a look, the father-daughter duo ran inside. In the living room they found Tzuyu’s mother, laid there on the floor, clutching her ankle. Immediately her father ran to help her up.

“You idiot!” She cursed, swatting at him as he lifted her, “I tripped over your stupid tool box!”

Looking at the centre of the living room, Tzuyu noted that her fathers toolbox and its contents was scattered over the floor. He had a habit of leaving it in the strangest places. To try and save her father from his doom, Tzuyu quickly went to pack the tools back up. Her mother was guided to the armchair and her father bent down to check her ankle. He squeezed it and she let out a pained noise.

“We should probably take you to the hospital.”

“No, I have a deadline and-OW!” Her mother fell back on the chair after trying to walk back to her computer,

“Mama,” Tzuyu said gently, “If you go now, Papa can drive you and you can take your laptop.”

Her mother thought for a moment and smiled, “Good thinking sweetheart!”

Tzuyu went to go get the laptop while her father helped her mother to the door. When she handed it to her, Mrs Chou kissed her forehead and they got her out to the car. It was raining so they had to move as quickly as possible. Why they didn’t just grab an umbrella, Tzuyu didn’t know but honestly that was their problem.

Finally left alone Tzuyu wandered back inside to watch TV. Planning to start season two of another show Rosé sent her to watch. The first season had left on a cliffhanger and she needed to see what came next. As she settled on the sofa, remote in hand, she was just about to switch on the television…

..when the doorbell rang.

Sitting up she paused for a moment.

She didn’t know why she stopped, she just did. Almost like she was giving herself a save point. A moment to revisit just in case whatever came next went wrong. In the coming weeks Tzuyu would remember this moment, longing to go back to it. To handle things differently. But time moves forward, so she couldn’t.

Instead, she stood up and went to the door.

“Hello?” She pulled it open, “Oh! Mina!”

“Hey, Tzu…”

Tzuyu’s brain went haywire for a moment. Seeing Mina so close after a while in her own casual clothes. She looked cute. Though, Tzuyu wasn’t admiring her fashion sense when she thought that. Her eyes never left her face. Mina looked nervous, awkwardly standing on her doorstep with an awkward smile. She was stood under their porch but the wet hair indicated she had been caught in the downpour.

“I…uhh..” Focus Tzuyu, focus, “W-What are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” Mina told her, “We’ve heard things…”

Tzuyu’s heart stopped, her smile suddenly looking very forced, “Things? Like what?”

Mina sighed, “Apparently, you’ve been hanging around with Blackpink.”

Relief filled her veins, noticeably relaxing her, “Oh! Just that?”

“Uhh yeah,” Mina looked confused, “So it’s true?”

Tzuyu shrugged, “Yeah, they’re not so bad once you get to know them.”

“Tzuyu!” Mina looked horrified, “They’re dangerous!”

“They’re really not.” Tzuyu replied,

“They’re gangsters.” Mina threw back, “Besides…what do you guys even talk about?”

Tzuyu hesitated, wrapping her arms round herself like a sheild, “Umm….movies, books, pets--”

“You hesitated.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.” Mina reached a hand out and placed it on her arm, “Have they asked you to do things? Like…illegal things?”

“What!?” Tzuyu was shocked, “No, of course not. And I wouldn’t do it anyway.”

“Then why hesitate!?”

“I didn’t hesitate!”

“I’m not blind Tzuyu,” Mina told her, “Talk to me, please. We’re all worried about you.”

Tzuyu scoffed, beginning to get defensive, “So worried yet none of you have talked to me in days.”

“We thought you’d come back by now.” Mina sighed, “Not that you’d replace us with Blackpink!”

“Why is it always me that has to come back?” Tzuyu asked, stepping back a little, “Rosé and Lisa have really looked out for me. That’s more than you guys did.”

“You never gave us a chance to.” Mina told her,

Tzuyu was silent.

That was true.

“But we’re here now.” Mina continued, grabbing her arms again, “I’m here.”

Tzuyu looked up at her.

“Tell me what’s going on, please…” Mina said quietly, “I want to help you.”

Mina could see the fight going on in Tzuyu’s head. Pushing and pulling between confessing everything and keeping quiet. The inner turmoil slowly started giving her a headache. Mina had a point, Tzuyu hadn’t given the girls an opportunity to help or hurt her. It was no surprise they pushed her away when she was hardly opening her arms to them. And this…this wasn’t just anybody in front of her. It was Mina. Gentle, kind Mina - who always understood Tzuyu. Who always supported her with silent smiles and kind eyes.

Who she was in love with.

The rejection would hurt, but this was Mina. Tzuyu could trust her…right?

“Tzuyu…” Mina begged, “Please.”

“I’m gay.”

The next part was in slow motion. The moment the words left her lips, she watched frame by frame as Mina reacted. The split second of nothing as the words computer, then the shock, then the disgust as she took her arms back and stepped away. Mina was looking at her in a way she never had before. Finally, Tzuyu saw the cold side of Mina that only those on the outside saw. The ballerina hold herself as far from Tzuyu as she could without being forced out into the rain. Like if she were too close she’d catch the gay too.

“No you’re not.”

“Mina…”

“You’re not like that,” Mina whispered, “Lisa and Rosé are getting in your head!”

“No that’s--”

“They’re twisting your mind, Tzuyu. You’re not like that.” Mina continued, louder, “You’re not like them. You’re just confused.”

“Would you just--”

“What the hell Tzuyu, is this why you said no to Dowoon?”

“I--”

“Is it!?”

“MINA!” Tzuyu shouted,

That shut her up.

“I realised I was gay BEFORE I ever spoke to Blackpink.” Tzuyu told her, firmly, “It’s why I started talking to them. I needed someone to go to about my saphic bullshit.”

“Tzuyu, that’s just your hormones being weird,” Mina said, “They’ve deceived you into thinking it means more than it does.”

“I’m definitely gay Mina.” Tzuyu swallowed the tears as they came up,

“You’re not.”

“I am.”

“You’re not!”

“I AM!” Tzuyu burst, tears following, “Mina…please….I am.”

Mina looked at her, eyes still swimming with disgust. Then something clicked. The looks Tzuyu gave her, the little smiles, how weird she got whenever she and Tzuyu had even the slightest contact. Mina felt sick. Tzuyu was gay. And Mina was disgusted by her.

“Do you…like me…like _that way?”_

Tzuyu’s silence was damning.

Mina shook her head, “No…No…”

Tzuyu reached out, “Mina…”

The moment her hand touched Mina’s arm, the girl literally jumped back.

“Don’t touch me you dyke!”

Tzuyu stared at her. Pain in her eyes. Mina raised her hand to her mouth in shock. She hadn’t meant to say it, to use that word, it had just come out. But Tzuyu looked so hurt, like slapping her would have been less painful. For a moment, Mina felt an unholy amount of guilt. She really hadn’t meant to call her that. Mina was just used to that word being used to describe…people like Tzuyu.

“Tzuyu…I shouldn’t have used that word.” Mina said, “I’m sorry.”

Tzuyu couldn’t breathe, the wind had been knocked out her.

“I’m sorry,” Mina repeated, eyes hardening, “But what you are is wrong. What you do is wrong. What….What you feel for me is wrong.”

“M-Mina..”

“I can’t do this.”

Mina stepped further back.

“Mina, please.”

“Goodbye, Tzuyu.”

She turned on her heel and walked out through the rain. Not looking back, even as Tzuyu called after her. Every call of her friend’s name became more and more wild, until Tzuyu had a sore throat to match her pounding headache. Once Mina was out of sight Tzuyu collapsed to the floor, laying there sobbing into the wood. Her wailing, covered by the rainfall. Hear words like that hurt, they hurt a lot. But having someone use it directly on her…HER FRIEND using it on her. It tore her apart.

Tzuyu didn’t know how long she lay there for, crying into the night.

Eventually, she dragged herself inside and up to her bedroom. Her tears eventually dried but the words still played over in her head. That word playing over. The soundtrack to Mina turning her back and walking away from her into the rain. Once she had cried all the tears she had, an eerie calm came over her. Like her body had decided to run on autopilot because the pain was too much.

She took out her phone, scrolling through her contacts.

**_**To Rosé:** _ **

_The offer still open for skipping Friday??_

**_**From Rosé:** _ **

_Yesss! What changed your mind?_

**_**To Rosé:** _ **

_Mina knows. Don’t wanna deal with the fallout._

After sending her last text, she lay down on her bed.

Feeling more alone than she ever had before.


	14. Chapter Thirteen - Skipping

** **Chapter Thirteen - Skipping** **

** **

**_**From Mina:** _ **

_Just letting you know, I’m not telling anyone. Only because I’m not going to be the one to upset the girls. Don’t come back until you’re better._

Tzuyu hadn’t bothered to reply.

After her breakdown last night, she woke up this morning feeling numb. No sadness or anger or guilt, just nothing. It probably wasn’t healthy. She recognised that the numb feeling was definitely not a good substitute for anything. However, the way she felt last night…Tzuyu never wanted to feel like that ever again. Ideally she would be angry. Angry that Mina wasn’t all she thought she was, that she could so easily turn away.

It proved what Tzuyu had been dreading, that her being gay would change things with her friends. One by one they would all walk away from her. And she’d be left all alone. She knew it would happen eventually. It was stupid of her to think otherwise. But she’d survive, she would adapt. Tzuyu didn’t need anyone, what she NEEDED was to keep her head down and get to graduation without killing somebody.

“Lisa turn this shit off.” Jennie complained,

“No way, you gave me the aux chord. You deal with the consequences.”

Jennie groaned, “Rosé control your woman!”

“Sorry, Jen.” Rosé sighed from the back middle seat, between Tzuyu and Jisoo, “I’ve tried. But yet I still find myself having sexy times to hardcore, western rap music.”

Tzuyu thought she’d be more freaked out about skipping school. Hech, she was pretty sure the Blackpink girls thought she’d bail on the! But the whole depressed, numbness thing did help her ignore the fear of consequences. After telling them what had happened with Mina, the four gangsters threaten to get vengeance. Tzuyu told them not to though. Mina had been a bitch but she wasn’t a bad person.

The word kind of fell out on impulse.

“Yo, Chou!” Jisoo called, “Still with us?”

Tzuyu hummed, “Isn’t the mall in the other direction?”

“Can’t go there it’s too close to school.” Lisa said,

“But the only one out here is closed, isn’t it?” Tzuyu asked, “Like…it’s been shut since before I moved to Korea.”

“Pussying out on us, Chou?” Jennie teased, eyeing her through the rear view mirror,

Tzuyu huffed out a laugh, “Not a chance. I’ve nowhere else to be!”

“Good!”

______

Just as Tzuyu had suspected, the parking lot was abandoned when they arrived.

The mall itself was dilapidated with wooden planks over the doors and windows. It looked like nobody had been inside for years. However, Tzuyu soon realised that was untrue. The group got out the car and walked straight over to where there was a loose board. Lisa held it open and everyone crawled inside, following them once they were through.

The inside was just as decrepit. Most of the old stores were sealed shut but metal shutters, but some were open enough that she could see people had been in to loot. From somewhere ahead of them she could hear laughter and something smash on the ground. But since her friends were going in that direction, Tzuyu assumed they were aware of the guests. Not that she really cared either way, if they were going to jump her they’d only be disappointed.

Walking into the centre of the mall, Tzuyu saw a group of girls all lazing around on sofas she assumed had been stolen out of one of the stores. Seven in total. Two on one couch cuddling, two more on the other - playing card with another girl on the floor. The noise was coming from the final two girls, stood a little way away from the others, arguing. Rosé giggled beside her before walking to the centre of the room and greeting these strangers.

“Rosie!” One of the cuddlers greeted, standing to hug her,

Cuddler two also stood, everyone exchanging a greeting before eyes settled on Tzuyu.

“Who’s your friend?” One of the card players asked,

“This is Tzuyu,” Jisoo introduced, “She’s a good girl so be nice.”

Cuddler 2# snorted, “What’s a good girl doing with you?”

Rosé walked up to Tzuyu and pulled her forward, “She’s a baby gay!”

“Rosé---” Tzuyu began to protest,

“Don’t worry, their cool.” Rosé assured her, she pointed at the cuddlers, “Dami and Gahyeon have been together for a while and the love birds arguing have been dating since before time.”

“Welcome to the gay zone.” One girl joked, “I’m Minji. The shouty ones are Bora and Yoohyeon - just ignore them. This is Handong.”

Tzuyu looked at the two bickering, they seemed to have not realised that other people had just walked in.

Minji gestured to the girl next to her on the couch, “This is Handong…”

“Hi.”

“And this is Siyeon.”

Siyeon was the girl whom was sitting on the floor. She stood and approached, looking Tzuyu up and down as she did so. Tzuyu heard Jennie and Lisa snickering behind her and it made her confused. What was so funny?

“Hi,” Siyeon greeted, voice sounding low and sensual, “Tzuyu right?”

“Down girl!” Rosé scolded, playfully batting her away,

The group laughed at the display. For a second Tzuyu couldn’t figure out what was so funny. However, once she looked back at Siyeon and recieved a wink in return, it clicked.

Was she flirting with her?

Blushing, Tzuyu looked away which led to more teasing.

Eventually, Bora and Yoohyeon joined them and they spent the day lazing on the coaches talking. Tzuyu was a little bored after a while, lost with the inside jokes and crime-based anecdotes. But still - it was better than being at school. She noticed Siyeon kept looking at her throughout the day, it was hard not to when she was literally sat directly opposite. Tzuyu felt a little embarrassed, but it was flattering.

It was different to how she felt around Dowoon. Like she still wanted to hide her face, but in a giggly, shy way not a oh-my-god-I-feel-so-guilty way. Finally, she felt all the things her friends described. The heart racing, the nerves, the sweaty palms. The numb feeling melting away and replaced by a feeling that resembled how she used to feel when she looked at Mina. But now, without the constant denial, it was a lot more intense.

It was nearing five in the evening. Tzuyu didn’t really need to text an excuse to her parents until eight, they would assume she was studying at Jihyo’s till then. Lisa and Rosé had been cuddled up on one end of the sofa, whispering to each other for the last ten minutes. Looking between Tzuyu and Siyeon as they did so. Eventually, Lisa removed her arm from around her girl and began rooting in her bag.

“You guys wanna smoke?” Rosé asked, “We can go up to the roof.”

“I’m down.” Jennie said, standing,

“I might just hang down here,” Tzuyu sighed, “Should call my parents and make an excuse to be home late.”

“You don’t smoke?” Siyeon asked,

Before Tzuyu could answer, Rosé got there first.

“Noo, Tzuyu’s a good girl!”

“I wonder how good…” Siyeon half joked, eyeing her up and down again,

Dami smacked the back of her head, “Knock it off. I’m down, let’s head up!”

As everyone stood to head upstairs, Siyeon stayed sat on the floor opposite Tzuyu.

“Not interested, Siyeon?” Jennie asked, quietly,

“Nah,” Siyeon’s eyes stayed on Tzuyu, “I’ve got better things to do.”

Jennie raised an eyebrow, “Okay, but if I find out you’ve made her uncomfortable I will come down here and kick your ass.”

“I got it,” Siyeon chuckled, “Relax.”

Jennie looked sceptical but still followed the others up the old escalator. Tzuyu was drafting a text to her dad and hadn’t noticed someone staying behind to keep her company. Taking her chance, Siyeon stood and sat on the sofa next to her. The movement gained Tzuyu’s attention and when she looked up she nearly had a heart attack.

Siyeon laughed, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I-It’s okay.” Tzuyu stammered hitting send on her phone and putting it in her pocket, “You don’t smoke?”

“I do,” Siyeon admitted, “But someone had to keep you company.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Siyeon shrugged, “Who am I to leave a beautiful girl alone?”

Tzuyu blushed and looked down. Siyeon turned to face her directly and Tzuyu mirrored her movement out of instinct. It was hard to look at Siyeon. She was just so pretty. But Tzuyu couldn’t look away either, something about her eyes drew her in.

“So are you always this quiet?”

“Usually.” Was the nervous response,

“Aww,” Siyeon cooed, “It’s okay, we were all baby gays once.”

Tzuyu sighed, “Yeah…I know.”

Siyeon sensed a shift in the atmosphere, “You okay?”

“Eh,” Tzuyu played with her hands, “I came out to my crush yesterday and she called me a…not nice word.”

“Oh…” Siyeon dropped the flirting, “I’m really sorry. Straight girls are like lesbian kryptonite.”

Tzuyu chuckled, “I’m over it. It didn’t matter that I liked her, what made it worse was that she was my friend.”

Siyeon was silent a moment, “I get it. I’m not out to my family, Lord knows what they’ll say. But it’s cool. You know the best part about being gay?”

“What?”

“It’s like this whole community opens up for you,” Siyeon explained, “A whole society where it doesn’t matter what you like doing or what your interested in. The community have your back and will speak up for you when you can’t speak up for yourself.”

“Is that this mystical gay agenda?” Tzuyu joked,

“That and ridding the world of heterosexuals.” Siyeon smirked, she raised her fist in the air, “Fight the power.”

Tzuyu laughed.

“I like your laugh,” Siyeon complimented, “It’s cute.”

“You don’t have to try so hard.” Tzuyu teased, feeling more comfortable, “It’s not like I can say no to pretty girls either.”

“Ouch, Tzu!” Siyeon mocked hurt, “You’re stealing my moves.”

They talked for a while, finding they had a lot in common. Siyeon talked the most and Tzuyu was happy to listen to her. This girl could talk for Korea, but that was fine with Tzuyu. Whenever the quieter of the duo had some input, Siyeon would pause and let her speak. She also listened. Which was something Tzuyu had never experienced before. Someone actually taking an interest and listening to what she was saying. It was nice.

After a while though, they began going on to more…interesting topics.

“So, baby gay,” Siyeon began, “You kissed a girl yet?”

“Why? You offering?”

“Maybe.” Was the flirty reply,

Tzuyu nearly choked on air, but desperately tried to keep composed, “Lisa kissed me, with Rosé’s permission.”

“Woah really?”

“Yeah…it was weird.” Tzuyu chuckled at the memory, “I wasn’t sure if I liked girls or not so they let me test.”

Siyeon smiled, “Did you like it?”

“It was…pleasant.” Tzuyu blushed as Siyeon laughed at her phrasing, “I liked it.”

“It’s different kissing someone you’re into.” Siyeon told her,

Tzuyu shrugged, “I wouldn’t know.”

“Awww!” Siyeon teased,

Tzuyu pushed her lightly. Their eyes met and Tzuyu found herself lost in them. Siyeon’s smile dropped and her eyes fell to the taller girl’s lips. Then they flicked back up to her eyes, staring at her through the lashes. Siyeon leaned forward slightly, making Tzuyu’s head get all fuzzy for a moment.

“Tell me, Tzu.” Siyeon whispered, “Are you into me?”

Her mouth was too dry to make noises, so Tzuyu just nodded. The air around them heating up and Tzuyu began to panic a little. Not because she was scared, but because she was nervous. It was an excited nervous, though, like that feeling just before the drop on a roller-coaster.

Siyeon chuckled, “Good…cause I’m kind of into you too.”

A hand came up to cup Tzuyu’s face, the cool touch causing her to close her eyes. She could feel the other girl’s breath on her lips. Her stomach twisted in anticipation, waiting for her to make a move. And when she did, it was like fireworks. Siyeon closed the gap. Their lips met and Tzuyu melted, instantly.

Siyeon had been right…

It was different kissing someone you liked.

It was fucking magical.


	15. Chapter Fourteen - Lazy Texting Chapter

** **Chapter Fourteen - Lazy Texting Chapter** **

** **

Saturday….

**__ **

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Hey Tzuyu, how’s your Saturday going?_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Good! Me and my dad have been building a motorbike, it’s nearly finished!_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Oooh she rides motorcycles? Peak lesbian behaviour x_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Shut uuuuuuppp >w<_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Ok, I’ll be quiet…just gonna keep the image in my head._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Like the idea of me riding a motorbike?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_I like the idea of you riding something ;)_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_ASIJAKFHIAKJFJKAJFLJAFLFJALJAFFJAIOJ_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Too much?_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_…no. What’re you doing?”_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Watching TV. Look tell me if I’m being to forward but I hsvn’t stopped thinking about you since yesterday._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_It’s a little forward, but I like forward. Why go backwards right!?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Lol very tru_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_I’ve been thinking about you too x_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_:)_

Sunday…..

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Sorry! I fell asleep…_

**_**From Siyeon** _ **

_I guessed lol_

**__ **

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_I’m sorry x_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Aww it’s ok, poor baby was tired x_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Stooop!_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Stop flirting? Never._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Good x_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Wanna skip school tomorrow? Me n the girls are going to see a movie._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_I don’t know…Friday was my first time…_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_SKIPPING! My frist tome skippping1!!_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_HAHAHAHA awwww x_

**__ **

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_*facepalm emoji*_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable x It’s just…I wanted you to know that if you weren’t ready to face Mina yet there were other options._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_You’re cute._

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_I’m fucking adorable. So you down?_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_What movie are we seeing?_

Monday…

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_You get home okay??_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Yeah, Bora just dropped me off. She’s nice :)_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Yeah, we’ve been friends forever!_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_I know, she told me some stories :P_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_…._

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_She’s a bitch and I never liked her._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Be nice :P_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Yeah, yeah. So what are your plans for tonight?_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Looking up the movie we just saw, I wanna know what it’s about._

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_We just watched it! Lol_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Sorry, it’s a little hard to focus on the screen with your tongue in my mouth._

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Oh look who’s getting bold ;)_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Pretty sure everyone moved three rows away from us._

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_All your fault for kissing me back!_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Me? A baby gay? Having to defend myself from a seasoned lesson? You think too much of me!_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Okay chill out Juliet…_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Juliet?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Idk you’re the one talking like a Shakespeare play._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Would that make you Romeo?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_I could support that casting choice :P_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_What are you doing?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Watching some Chinese show Handong likes. Wanna come over? I could use a translator…_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Y’know it’s a different type of Chinese than I speak…right?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Is that a no?_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_I can’t tonight, it’s late :( Tomorrow?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Sure! Come by after school!_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_What if I came during the day instead?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Goodie goodie Tzuyu offering to skip class? I’m impressed!_

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Come onnn, you wanna?_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Only if you take me to the fair on Friday night._

**_**To Siyeon:** _ **

_Ooh there’s a fair!? It’s a date!_

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Good. I wanted it to be :)_

****


	16. Chapter Fifteen - Confrontation

** **Chapter Fifteen - Confrontation** **

** **

“Ziyu!” Her mother called, “Can you come down here please?”

That couldn’t be anything good, usually her father was the one to summon her downstairs. Her mother was always too involved in her work to really care about whatever they were doing. This meant it was something serious. Tzuyu had gotten home over and hour ago. Immediately running up to her room when she did so and therefore didn’t get to feel the atmosphere downstairs.

To be honest, she was stressed more about hiding her hickey than she was over the mood of her parents. Day three of skipping school and today she had gone to Siyeon’s house. Her parents were away on business so they just lay on the sofa watching movies. Or at least they had for the first part, then Tzuyu experienced her first make out. Hence the hickey on her neck that was now made invisible by make-up.

Siyeon was fun. It felt like she was in a whirlwind, everything was so fun and fast. Just being around her made Tzuyu’s heart speed up and her palms get all sweaty. She wasn’t naive, she knew that first romances never lasted. But right now it wasn’t about the future. It was about the right now. About Tzuyu finally getting to experience the things everyone always talked about. She liked Siyeon, in a way she hadn’t ever liked anyone before.

Consequences had been far from her mind.

“Ziyu! Come on!”

Uh oh…she sounded mad.

Double checking that her hickey was covered up, she left her bedroom and made her way downstairs. Both her parents were in the living room, standing in front of the sofa. Tzuyu paused on her way into the room, this scene looked familiar. Whenever Victoria was about to get scolded Tzuyu and Jackson would sit on the stairs eavesdropping. This was the position they always took, sitting the guilty party on the couch and looming over them.

This was the first time Tzuyu had been on the receiving end of it.

What was it Victoria used to tell them?

_“Never admit to anything, you don’t know what they’re yelling about so no use giving them anything else!”_

Walking slowly, Tzuyu approached her unreadable parents. Her father pointed to the sofa and she sat in the centre, looking up at them as innocently as she could.

“Your school called today.” Her mother began, “Any ideas as to why?”

Now, as we have established, Tzuyu was not good at lying. So rather than talk herself into a corner she just shook her head.

Her mothers raised eyebrow was a sign that she had not been convincing.

“Let me remind you,” Her father took over, “They called to see if you were okay. Y’know since you haven’t been to school for THREE DAYS!”

_Oh shit…_

“Explain yourself.” Her mother snapped,

But Tzuyu couldn’t. She couldn’t tell them the truth, at least not yet. She wasn’t ready. So they would have to settle with a half truth.

“I fell out with Jeongyeon and the others.” Tzuyu admitted, “It was huge and now none of them are talking to be so I don’t want to go to school.”

Her father’s face softened, “What did you fight about?”

Tzuyu swallowed, “Jeongyeon’s boyfriend’s friend asked me on a date and I said no. Apparently, Jeongyeon got a hard time about it.”

“Well good.” Her father said a little to fast, “I mean, that you’re not dating not the fight with your friends. Boys are poisonous to nice young girls until they’re in their thirties. The girls! No going out with thirty year old men--”

“Stop it.”

“Yes dear.”

“Look, I’m sorry you’ve fallen out with your friends.” Her mother said, “But that’s no excuse to be skipping school. I mean, where do you even go all day!? I work from home so I know you’re not sneaking back in here. So where do you go?”

“Nowhere.”

“Nowhere?” Her mother scoffed, “Hear that, honey? Our eighteen year old daughter is off at ‘nowhere’ all by herself all day.”

“I’m not by myself!” Tzuyu snapped back, getting a little frustrated,

“Well you said you weren’t talking to your friends any more, so who were you with?”

“I have other friends!” Tzuyu defended,

“Not that we’ve met,” Her mother continued, “And don’t you use that tone with me young lady!”

“Who were you with?” Her father asked, a bit calmer,

“My new friends…”

“What new friends?”

“Just new friends!”

“Names.”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes, “Lisa, Rosé, Jisoo, Jennie--”

“Wait, wait,” Her father stopped her, “Aren’t they the girls that spray painted the back of Mr Choi’s butcher shop?”

“Umm…maybe.”

“That explains it then…” Her mother sighed,

“Explains what?” Tzuyu asked, eyes challenging her mother to say what she was thinking,

“Those girls are a bad influence!” Her mother announced,

“Are not!”

“Well you didn’t skip school before getting involved with them.” Her father said, “It’s okay, Tzu - everyone gets suckered in by bad kids at least once in their lives.”

“They’re not bad kids!” Tzuyu shouted, “They’re my friends!”

“Don’t you raise your voice at us!” Her mother shouted back, “We are your parents--”

“Are you!?” Tzuyu scoffed, “Papa’s always tinkering with a car and you love your laptop more than you love me! Some parents!”

“That is not true!” Her father defended,

“Please,” Tzuyu sighed, “Me and Vic always new Jackson was the favourite.”

“How dare you!?” Her mother was furious, “We have no favourites.”

“What is with you lately?” Her father asked, “You’re moody, withdrawn, skipping school. Whatever it is needs to stop. Y’know there are little girls out there who aren’t even allowed to go to school? They’d kill for education!”

“Then swap me for one!”

“You’re back talking now?” Her mother had one hand on her hip and looked about ready to blow, “It’s those girls, Tzuyu - they’re no good for you!”

“How would you know!?” Tzuyu stood, “They’re kind to me, they support me, they look out for me. They’re GOOD people.”

“Really? Because good girls are always questioned by police for vandalism.”

“AT LEAST THEY’RE AROUND!” Tzuyu yelled, actually getting in her mothers face and startling both her parents, “You’re both too busy working to care what’s going on with me. If the school hadn’t called you wouldn’t have noticed something was wrong.”

Her father gently pushed her back, grabbing her arms and holding them gently. His eyes looked concerned, searching hers for any sign of what was wrong. Tzuyu was daddy’s little girl, she’d never acted out like this before and both her parents were terrified that she was hiding something.

“Then talk to us!” Her father begged, “We’ll always listen. Tell us what’s wrong.”

Tzuyu met his eyes. She saw the sadness, the guilt, the defeat and for a moment she wanted to tell them. She wanted to be open and honest. A small part of her just wanted to rip off the band-aid and confess her secrets. But then she remembered Mina’s look of disgust. She remembered how she had felt watching her friend walk away from her. What if they did the same? What if they cut her out like her friends had? What if they thought she was a disgrace? Tzuyu wouldn’t be able to handle that.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

She tried to pull away but her father held tighter.

“Please…let us try.”

Tzuyu summoned her strength and ripped herself away from him.

“No. You wouldn’t.”

“Ziyu…please.” Her mother tried,

Tzuyu’s expression went cold and stoic, “So am I grounded or what?”

Her parents exchanged a look, completely confused and unsure how to proceed. They could feel their little girl slipping away and they didn’t even know why. Tzuyu had never been rebellious or mischievous. She always had good friends, good grades, good attendance. Now it had all slipped and they had been to busy to notice. This girl was not their daughter.

“Yeah.” Her mother surrendered first, “You’re grounded. One of us will drive you too and from school. No friends over and no leaving the house until further notice.”

“Fine.” Tzuyu snapped, “Can I go?”

Her father stared at her for a moment, analysing her face, then gave up for tonight, “Go.”

So she went, stomping back upstairs like the moody teenager she was.

But she never had been a moody teenager before. So her parents could only watch her go, wondering what on earth was wrong with her lately. Maybe they’d call her sister? She would know what the behaviour meant. It was the only option they had really. Until then they would keep an eye on her.

But they both knew something was wrong.

They just hoped she wasn’t in any trouble.


	17. Chapter Sixteen - Back to School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia induced double update!

** **Chapter Sixteen - Back to School** **

She had to talk to the Principal when she went back to school.

Since Tzuyu was a good student, most of the questions were about her mental wellbeing and asking why she had skipped. Luckily, she was able to blame it on stress and get off scot free. It helped that she mentioned being punished for her truancy at home and therefore the Principal saw no need in further punishment. It was basically a slap on a wrist with a firm “never do it again”. She supposed it paid to be a goody-goody sometimes.

Her parents and her were no longer on speaking terms. The whole ride to school in the car she and her father said nothing to one another. It hurt her a little, they were usually really close, but right now she was mad. How could they accuse her friends of things when they didn’t even know them? Yeah, they were rough around the edges but the Blackpink girls were good people. They just held their own morals, had their own values and loyalties.

By the time the principal had released her, she was late to first period physical education (PE or Gym). Walking the halls she past a couple of students. Most were in class but a few were running errands for teachers or late themselves, but the ones that she did walk past all seemed to stare at her. Which was odd, given that she was usually invisible. Still she just decided to make her way to class. By the time she got there, the changing room was empty so she quickly got into her sports clothes and walked into the gymnasium.

Class had started, but everyone was stood around waiting for the teacher to get the softball equipment out. Tzuyu walked in and once again eyes turned to her. The worst part about gym actually used to be the best part, all her ex-friends were in the same class. At that moment they were stood all together off to the side staring at her. Her usual spot would be with them, but the second her eyes met Mina’s the pain in her chest told her it probably never would be again.

Suddenly, an arm looped through hers.

“Over here!” Jisoo whispered, pulling her over to where Rosé and the others were,

While she could feel the looks intensifying, she felt immense relief at seeing them.

“Well, well, well,” Lisa smirked, “Look whose back!”

“With a poorly concealed hickey!” Rosé laughed,

Tzuyu’s hand immediately covered her neck and Rosé cackled.

“I was messing with you - but glad to know my assumption was right!” She explained, “So you were with Siyeon?”

“Monday we went to the movies with her friends,” Tzuyu gushed quietly, “Then yesterday I went to her place. But the school called my parents.”

“Ouch,” Jennie sighed, “Parents ruin everything.”

“Grounded?” Jisoo asked,

“Big time.”

Tzuyu turned, looking out over the makeshift softball field. She watched as they set everything up. As her eyes wandered they met Mina’s, the older girl was staring at her. Tzuyu stared back, not wanting her to see how badly she had affected her. It was surprising how quickly things could change. Her crush on Mina was pretty much gone now, thoughts of Siyeon occupying the space she once held. Tzuyu realised that her old friends were slowly becoming nothing to her, which was sad but that was life.

People drift apart, it was a sign of growing up.

“Isn’t there a stereotype about lesbians and softball.” Jisoo asked,

“Good or bad?” Tzuyu ask turning to look at her real friends,

“Apparently they’re supposed to be great at it.”

“In that case, Lisa better be on my team.” Jennie snorted,

“I’ll take Tzuyu!”

“Hey!” Rosé pouted, “I’m a lesbian too, why does no one fight over me!?”

“Because Lisa and Tzuyu have longer legs, makes them seem sporty.” Jennie shrugged,

“Plus you and Lisa are a package deal and we all accept that.” Was Jisoo’s reasoning,

Tzuyu laughed along with them.

Across the way her old group were pretending not to look. But each were deeply invested in this new friendship their youngest had gotten involved with. She was laughing and talking, which surprised them. Usually, Tzuyu was more of a listener but around Rosé and Lisa she was contributing and enjoying the conversation.

“So what exactly did she say when you went to talk to her?” Nayeon asked,

“I told you…I can’t say.” Mina sighed, “It’s just bad. Really bad.”

“But how can we help if--” Momo was cut off,

“We can’t,” Mina muttered, “She’s dug her own grave. Let her lay in it.”

“Wow, she really made you angry.” Sana said, concerned,

“Let’s just say,” Mina began, “I found out Tzuyu wasn’t who she said she was.”

“She say something to you?” Jeongyeon asked, ready to defend her friend,

“No,” Suddenly Mina looked guilty, “But I said some things I regret. She just unloaded a crap storm on me and I didn’t take it very well.”

“Soo…” Nayeon was a little confused, “Why can’t we talk to her?”

“Because the crap storm will sweep up anyone it touches.” Mina explained, “Social suicide. It’s better to keep a distance.”

Momo didn’t know if she believed that. But as she looked at the other girls, they were happy to take this answer. Except Chaeyoung, who exchanged a concerned look with the Japanese girl. Both silently agreeing they weren’t 100% buying Mina’s story that whatever Tzuyu’s secret is will be life destroying. Actually, Momo had her own theory. Now, Momo would never call herself book smart but she was emotionally intelligent. She could read people extremely well.

A few things had stuck out to her. Namely that Tzuyu had obviously felt comfortable telling Heechul her problem and was now friends with Rosé and Lisa. It was a big coincidence that caused Momo’s brain to make assumptions. But ultimately that’s all it was, an assumption. She’d never tell anyone what this theory was but it was beginning to look more and more probable. If it was true, however, and this was the reason for Mina’s wish to remove herself from Tzuyu completely then Momo would be extremely disappointed in her friend.

She hoped that she was wrong. Not because there was anything wrong with it, she didn’t care about other peoples personal lives. Momo looked at peoples personalities, that’s all she really wanted in a friend. Someone who was kind. And Tzuyu was kind so Momo wanted to still be her friend.

Had she been braver, she would have crossed the gymnasium and gone to speak to Tzuyu and introduce herself to her new friends. But Momo was human, she was a teenager. Thus she craved social acceptance and had an instinctual need to maintain the status quo. In another lifetime she would be able to be the type of person she wanted herself to be. In a perfect world everyone could get along and no one would care about stuff that couldn’t be changed.

But the world wasn’t perfect.

So Tzuyu stayed on one side of the gym and Momo on the other. Listening to her friends discuss the teachers weird decision to play softball inside. Eventually, she’d turn and joke and laugh with them again - pushing any thoughts of bridge building with Tzuyu from her mind. It made her feel guilty but, after sparing her one final look, she decided that Tzuyu was happy with her new group. There would be more time to build bridges.

But for right now, the status quo was maintained and Momo was a coward.

And therefore she could only offer silent support.

Cheering her on from the sidelines.


	18. Chapter Seventeen - The Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE
> 
> The shit hits the fan.

****

** **Chapter Seventeen - The Date** **

** **

For once in her life Tzuyu was so happy to have a big sister.

She confessed to Victoria that she had a date that night but she was grounded and the older girl came through. She had offered several sneak out routes, as well as how to lay out pillows under the blanket to look like her body. On top of this Victoria told her to grab a wig out of the closet in her old bedroom and make it look like her head was on the pillow. Honestly, Jackson may be the smart one but Victoria was a genius.

All she had to do was make sure she was back before they went to bed at eleven. Victoria said Papa always checked their rooms before he went to sleep and while the fake!Tzuyu was good there was too much that could go wrong. Maybe she shouldn’t have snuck out, the old Tzuyu would never have dared. But recently, Tzuyu just wanted to act out a little bit. She had spent so long trying to find herself silently, now that she had unlocked this new part of herself she couldn’t help but wonder what she had missed out on.

Siyeon had driven them, excited for the rides and games that awaited them. The fair was a little way out of town, both girls were in the closet so avoiding people from school was ideal. It was dark by the time they got there, making the lights and noises from the fair all the more dazzling. There were so many people there too, meaning Siyeon and Tzuyu could just slip through the crowd without worrying about catching someone’s attention.

Once they parked up in the designated parking field, they put on their masks before getting out. It was just in case someone DID recognise them. They were just being overly cautious. Still, they held hands as they walked in. Not ashamed to be seen together in this sea of strangers was a freeing feeling that Tzuyu found she enjoyed. There were no fears of being stared at or judged. Everyone else was wrapped up in their own bubbles.

Tzuyu ran her thumb over the back of Siyeon’s hand, earning a squeeze in return. The Tzuyu let herself be pulled to the first ride the older girl saw. Luckily the line didn’t take too long but watching Siyeon be all excited. She never knew the girl was such an adrenaline junkie. Tzuyu herself wasn’t the biggest fan of rides, but if it meant Siyeon kept looking this cute then she’d ride them all ten times over.

“You like rides like this, Tzu?” Siyeon asked as they got into the cart,

“Not really.” Tzuyu chuckled, nervously,

“Oh,” Siyeon nudged her, “Don’t worry, I’ll hold you nice and tight.”

This was a sweet sentiment.

But the moment the ride started both girls screamed and gripped the rail in front of them as to not die. Soon, Siyeon’s screams became maniacal laughter, Tzuyu’s just grew in terror. It was nice that the other girl was enjoying herself but sadly it couldn’t be enjoyed due to the constant jostling. For a while Tzuyu feared she’d throw up but luckily it wasn’t for too much longer.

Siyeon laughed at her as they got off, Tzuyu was so shaky on her legs that she wobbled over to the nearest trash can just in case she needed to throw up. After giggling for a moment Siyeon walked over and rubbed her back, eventually slipping an arm round her to help Tzuyu stand. They limped over to a bench and Siyeon set her down, remaining tightly in her side to tease her little green face.

“Aww poor baby.” Siyeon cooed, pecking her cheek,

“Shut up.” Tzuyu muttered,

Siyeon laughed, “Come on, we’ll do whatever you wanna do next!”

“Really?”

“Really.” Siyeon nodded, “Anything you want!”

Tzuyu looked around and then spotted something in the distance.

“There’s a photobooth up there,” She suggested, “We could go and get some pictures and grab something to eat after?”

“Sounds great!”

Once she had her energy back, Tzuyu lead Siyeon towards the photo booth. It was a small little thing, almost hidden amongst the big rides and flashing lights. But for Tzuyu she wanted something meaningful, a picture would be a perfect way to commemorate her first ever REAL date. Sure, they could win a soft toy or knick knack playing one of the games but they could very easily be rigged. Or Tzuyu might get performance anxiety.

Searching her pocket for her wallet, Tzuyu let Siyeon go in first. She followed after and it was a bit of a tight squeeze, not that they minded. Only once the curtain was drawn, protecting their privacy, did the masks come off. Tzuyu put in the money and picked the options. For the first picture they both smiled, heads tilted so that the tops were touching. The second picture had an instruction to do a silly face, both did as asked. While they laughed at each others face, the third picture went off.

For the last one, Tzuyu closed the gap and kissed her gently. Siyeon smiled into it and Tzuyu returned the expression as she pulled back.

“I think that one will be my favourite.” Siyeon muttered,

“Mine too.”

Tzuyu pressed the button for two copies and they put their masks back on. They got out of the booth and Siyeon reached into the slot for the photo. Only one set printed, which was frustrating. Still, this booth seemed pretty old. They were lucky enough to get one. Siyeon told Tzuyu she could keep it, providing the tall girl won her something from one of the game stalls. With a grin Tzuyu agreed to her terms.

They stopped off for a hotdog on the way to the game stalls. Well, Siyeon got a hotdog - Tzuyu was trying a more vegetarian diet so she just got some nachos. She had always loved animals and wasn’t the biggest fan of meats anyway so it made sense. There were a lot of game stalls around, all the usual scams running. Siyeon pointed at the coconut shy and commented on a particular wolf plushie. Tzuyu cooed at it too so they went over to the booth.

After paying the fee, the man running the stall gave her three coconuts.

“Three coconuts, three tries.” The man declared as he walked over and lifted the coconut on the stick easily before putting it back down, “No tricks!”

“C’mon Tzu!” Siyeon cheered on,

Tzuyu was a little nervous, feeling on the spot in front of her crush. Her palm must have been sweating because as she pulled her arm back, the coconut flew backwards into the crowd and was lost forever. She blushed and Siyeon snickered.

“That’s one!” The man declared,

Tzuyu went to argue but ultimately was too embarrassed. The second throw went better but her aim was a little off - flying straight past the coconut and into the net behind.

“That’s two!”

“You can do it Tzuyu!”

Taking a step back, she lined up her shot. Then the wind up….the pitch….

Okay so she didn’t hit the coconut, but it did fly into the net and rebound off her last coconut causing it to fly up and hit the pole. The pole shook and the coconut was shaken off.

“I’ll allow it.” The man shrugged, “WINNER!”

He handed Tzuyu the wolf plushy and she swapped it with Siyeon for the pictures. Siyeon, not thinking, pecked her cheek through the mask and Tzuyu went red.

“Wow,” The man said, causing both to freeze, “You guys are really good friends!”

“Uhh…yeah….”

They then ran away from him, laughing as the adrenaline of nearly being caught ran off. Ultimately, it was a good night. They played some more games and Siyeon talked Tzuyu into going on more rides. For a first date it was everything Tzuyu had dreamed off. Nothing could have ruined her mood. She smiled all the way home. She smiled through her goodnight kiss with Siyeon. She even smiled whilst sneaking back into the house.

Tonight was perfect.

Nothing could change her mind on that.

_____

******DA MATH HOES AND BROS GC**** **

**_**Hyunsik:** _ ** _Yo anyone got the maths answers?_

**_**Jae:** _ ** _Sorry bro at Jeongyeon’s_

**_**Jimin:** _ ** _We had homework?_

**_**Eunwoo:** _ ** _I have them dude, but I took my baby cousins to this fair near their place._

**_**Irene:** _ ** _Selugi does_ _ @Daniel _

__

**_**Daniel:** _ ** _I’ll snoop through her bag_

Eunwoo snickered, Daniel was so dead if Selugi found out. She was super smart but super weird about letting people copy answers. He was glad Hyunsik was getting the answers from someone, if worst came to worst he would have asked Dahyun to drop by his place to grab them. He smiled to himself as he thought of her. They’d been hanging out a lot lately and it was clear to everyone that they were probably going to get together.

The only reason they hadn’t yet was that she had seemed really down lately. Dahyun was worried about her friend, Tzuyu. Ever since she had broken Dowoon’s heart, that whole group seemed to have fallen out with her and he knew it was effecting all of them. But Dahyun had cried on his shoulder a few times, worried for her younger friend. Not that Eunwoo blamed her, he’d heard the rumours that Tzuyu was in with Blackpink. Tzuyu was a nice girl so there was DEFINITELY something happening with her.

“Hyung! Hyung!” One of his cousins yelled running up to him, “Photo booth! Photo booth!”

He laughed, “Okay, okay! I’m coming!”

His cousins pulled him towards the empty photo booth and he was a little sceptical at first. It looked old, there was a chance it would probably eat his money. But with his two favourite cousins looking up at him with their puppy dog eyes,he could hardly say no. So in they all clamoured, ending with Eunwoo having one child on each knee.

They took four photos and he pressed the button for two photos at the end. His cousins leapt out after, eager to look at their pictures. By the time he had squeezed his was out they were already looking at them. He himself chuckled when one strip of photos was handed to him, they did look ridiculous.

“Hyung,” One of them called, “Why are these girls doing that?”

Eunwoo looked up and saw that a magical third strip had appeared. Probably a previous photo taker forgetting to check thoroughly for their photos. He took the strip, planning to find whoever it belonged to and give it back. Only when he looked at it…he was horrified. It was Tzuyu, Dahyun’s friend, posing with some girl he’d never seen before.

At a first glance there was nothing wrong but when he looked at each photo he realised what it was he was looking at.

There was Chou Tzuyu KISSING some random GIRL.

He told the kids to go catch up with their mother whom he could see up ahead and Eunwoo tried to figure out what it was he was seeing. The initial explanation was that they had done it for some weird, photo thing. But the smile on the mystery girls face showed it was something very different. Plus, it explained so much! Why she said no to Dowoon, why she was with Lisa and Rosé so much. Had they turned her? Poor Tzuyu…

Deciding he couldn’t keep this from Dahyun he took a photo of the strip and then ripped it in half. Throwing it in the bin as he passed, he sent the picture to Dahyun. Thinking that she should know what sort of deviancy her “friend” partook in.

At least that’s what he meant to do.

Instead he had sent it to the first contact on his chats with DA in the title.

So rather than sending it to ****Da**** hyun…

He sent it to ****DA**** MATH HOES AND BROS group chat. For his maths class.

******DA MATH HOES AND BROS GC**** **

**_**Eunwoo:** _ ** _*image.jpeg*_

**_**Jae:** _ ** _WTF!_

**_**Irene:** _ ** _No way! I have to send that to Yeri!_

**_**Daniel:** _ ** _I need to tell Jihyo…._

**_**Solji:** _ ** _Chou Tzuyu is a dyke? Who knew…_

**_**Jimin:** _ ** _Screenshotteedddddd!!!!1!!!_

**_**Minhee:** _ ** _Heechul #2: Revenge of the gay!_

Eunwoo gulped, this was bad.

Really bad.


	19. Chapter Eighteen - The Truth Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE

** **Chapter Eighteen - The Truth Hurts** **

** **

**_**From Siyeon:** _ **

_Lisa told me what happened, idk if you know yet. But I can’t do it Tzuyu. I’m not out to my parents and if they find out they’ll disown me. You’re a nice girl Tzuyu, I really liked you but I’m not ready. Don’t call me again…I’m sorry x_

That was how she found out.

Her phone hadn’t blown up, the school hadn’t called to warn her, her supposed friends hadn’t called to tell her. She found out when the girl she was seeing dumped her. Of course that text message had surprised her, Tzuyu having no context as to what had happened. But at the moment she read it, her father had been driving her to school meaning she couldn’t openly react. Yet it was the first in a long series of gut punches she was to receive that day.

Getting out of the car she could feel tension in the air. This time, she wasn’t imagining people staring - they were…OPENLY. Some even whispering to each other, leaving Tzuyu even more confused than ever. Had something happened last night? Or was she just looking like a mess today and people were terrified. It was intimidating, all these eyes on her. Watching her every move as she made her way into school and down the hall.

More stares, more whispers. The noises seemed to be coming from everywhere, the usual noise of the hallway hushing the moment she stepped in. Whenever she caught anyone’s eye they glared at her. Like she’d insulted them or something. Her brain should have made the connection really, but she was so thrown by her sudden break up that it was working a little slow today. Had Siyeon not enjoyed last night as much as Tzuyu?

Did Tzuyu imagine all the fun they had?

What did she do wrong?

Was it her imagination or was everyone parting to let her through? Usually she’d be swept through the hallway by the masses, but today it was like she was diseased. Nobody came close to her, like they thought they’d catch something if they did. It was beginning to feel like she’d woken up in the Twilight Zone. Everyone was being so weird today. At one point she’s pretty sure she saw Sana turn round and walk in the opposite direction when they made eye contact.

Though everything slowly began to make sense when she was almost at her locker. Two guys appeared to be acting suspicious right in front of it and when one of them spotted her they began walking over. They didn’t stop or say anything, but one of them did shoulder barge her. It shocked her when he did it but luckily she kept her balance, staring after them while waiting for her shoulder to stop aching.

Nobody around her said anything, despite the fact they were all looking. Actually, they were snickering. Little hints of laughter heard all round her, making her face red. She decided to just grab her books and head to homeroom. Whatever was going on was scaring her and she needed to have her usual time out to process everything. Then she needed to call Siyeon, or at least try to. She know the elder girl said not to but Tzuyu deserved to know why.

Then she turned back round to her locker….

And saw what those boys had scratched into it, in big, jagged letters.

_“DYKE”_

She couldn’t breath. All of the wind knocked out of her lungs.

They knew…

Everyone knew…

This couldn’t be happening…

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked her usual inactive social media. It was all over everyone’s page. The picture of Tzuyu and Siyeon kissing in the photo booth. Her face was everywhere, surrounded by comments about her being disgusting or sick. All thoughts of calling Siyeon left her mind. She couldn’t worry about that right now. How did they get this picture!? Tzuyu had the only copy that printed on her bedroom wall…

Though she had selected two copies. Maybe one didn’t print in time.

She was so careful, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?

She was hyperventilating.

About ready to have a full on panic attack.

But what could she do? Go home? Explain why to her parents?

Tzuyu was trapped here.

Opening her locker to grab her books, she slammed the door back shut and sprinted to homeroom. The whole way she kept her head down, trying to ignore the way everyone looked at her. In her frantic movement she ran into somebody and actually did get knocked over, cue more laughter. Looking up she met Momo’s eyes, she was stood with Heechul. Both looked at her with something other than hate in their eyes.

Heechul looked sad.

But the pity in Momo’s eyes made her feel worse.

Quickly, Tzuyu picked herself back up. She hated pity. Why did she have to be pitied for being who she was? That wasn’t fair. So she bolted the rest of the way to class, fighting every second to stay in control of herself. She wanted to scream and throw things and cry but no. No, she wouldn’t give ANYONE the satisfaction of seeing her break. Tzuyu was better than that.

Heechul stared after her, “Poor kid…”

"How did you get over it?” Momo asked as they began walking to their own homeroom,

“I didn’t.”

“What’s it feel like?” Was the next question,

If Heechul didn’t know Momo’s curiosity was innocent he’d have thought she was messing with him, “It’s like being naked in front of a room of strangers. You feel vulnerable and alone and…and like everything’s closing in on you.”

“I wanna help her.” Momo sighed,

“Wait for things to calm down.” Heechul advised, “Like you did for me, no point landing yourself in the crossfire.”

“I guess…”

______

None of her teachers called on her that day.

News travelled fast so of course even they had heard the rumours. Tzuyu was just on autopilot. Just trying to get through the day without losing it. The worst part was that at the end of the day she would have to go home without letting her parents know what happened. She hadn’t seen Blackpink all day, though the girls had texted her. They were probably skipping, which would explain how Siyeon found out.

It was all giving Tzuyu a headache to be honest. It was only lunch and she was ready to crawl into bed and never get out. While the teachers may not have said anything, Tzuyu had suffered plenty of insults from her peers. Selugi had taken great delight in torturing her. When the bell had finally gone for lunch, Tzuyu stepped out into the hall and made her usual route to the cafeteria. Not really that hungry, more just going through the motions.

She queued up for her food and paid for it quietly. Tray in hand she walked into the main cafeteria. Looking for somewhere to sit she realised she had nowhere TO sit. She was completely alone. The way people avoided her eyes proved this. There was no one on her side. At least not enough to break the status quo. She didn’t blame them, when it was Heechul she too was guilty of burying her head in the sand. Karma was indeed a bitch.

Speaking of Heechul, she noticed he was sat with her old group. As a last hope, Tzuyu longed to catch the eye of one of the girls. Just as a last ditch effort to find some support, from anywhere. But all of them, every last on of them looked away from her. To their credit, Momo and Chaeyoung were absent and Nayeon and Sana had their backs to her anyway. But Jeongyeon just kept her eyes on the table. Mina was acting like nothing was new, elegantly eating her lunch and Jihyo…

Jihyo caught Tzuyu’s eyes for a moment before looking away from her.

This was someone she adored, that she respected. Tzuyu was Jihyo’s little sister. She looked up to the older girl and had a connection to her that she dreamed of having with her actual sister. They were supposed to be family, but Jihyo…Jihyo turned away. She wouldn’t even look at her. Tzuyu stared, silently begging for her to turn round. To invite her to sit with them. To tell the people picking on her to fuck off.

To hug her and say “I got you”.

But she didn’t. Instead Daniel, who was sat next to her. Sent Tzuyu a stern look and wrapped his arm round her. As if reminding her that Jihyo was HIS girlfriend. But Tzuyu knew that, she had never looked a Jihyo as anything other than family but she supposed no one would care about that any more. She was just a pervert to them all now.

“Yo Chou!” A voice called, “Catch.”

Suddenly, something hot and messy wrapped round her face. In her shock she dropped her tray and it clattered to the floor, followed by the spaghetti projectile that had just been thrown at her. Her face and her uniform now covered in sauce. There was silence.

“Awww is she gonna cry?”

“C’mon Chou - be a man! That’s what you wanna be right!?”

“Cry! Cry! Cry!”

“Cry! Cry! Cry!”

“Cry! Cry! Cry!”

The chant kept going and Tzuyu could feel tears prick in her eyes. She looked up one more time to the table that she used to be welcomed at. They were all looking. None joining in with the chants but nobody stopping it either, Momo and Chaeyoung had just joined and looked horrified.

Tzuyu blinked and tears began to fall, earning an uproar of cheering from those around her.

She was scared. If they were going to publicly embarrass her, what else was going to happen? Were they going to follow her home? Would she get jumped? To some this may be over dramatic but in that moment, Tzuyu sobbing in front of her cheering peers, it seemed a very real possibility. Therefore, Tzuyu was terrified.

The fear, the stress, the anger, the sadness bubbled up and as she tried to run out she slipped on her tray. As she hit the floor the laughter became hysterical. Pain shot through her hand as she fell on it, but nothing was worse than the embarrassment. Scrambling to get to her feet she slipped a few more times before finally being able to run from the cafeteria. Away from her ex-friends, away from the bullies, away from the laughter that still rang in her ears.

Taking two steps at a time, she went to the top floor girls bathroom. With the Blackpink girls not in today, it would be empty and she really didn’t want witnesses right now. Bursting in she lunged into the first stall. The emotion bubbled up in her throat as she sobbed, freely now that she could without judgement.

Then she vomited.

Over and over.

The stress racking her body.

After a while she stopped, collapsing to sit next to the toilet. She curled into a ball and hugged her knees. She felt so lonely, so isolated and all she could do was sob and sob until class started again. Then she would be forced to pick herself up, go to her next class and get through today.

And tomorrow….

And the day after.

Tzuyu kept sobbing.

Praying someone would walk in an say “I got you”.

But nobody came.

And nobody would.


	20. Chapter Nineteen - Little Sister

** **Chapter Nineteen - Little Sister** **

** **

It had been a few weeks.

Weeks of Tzuyu hiding in her classrooms as opposed to going to lunch and hanging out in the library before and after school to avoid the masses. Most of the more blatant bullying had died down, everyone moving on to the next target. But there were still whispers, pointed insults and the occasional shoulder barge. For the most part, though, nobody spoke to her at all now. All too afraid to either catch the gay or be accused of being so.

Her parents had noticed her mood. The angsty teenage version of herself faded into this silent, depressed one. She wouldn’t eat, she slept from when she got home until the alarm went for school the next day, she cried when she thought they couldn’t hear. But, Tzuyu was always normal in front of them. Or at least, not noticeably upset where they could see. This made confronting her too difficult.

If they did she would lie. Tzuyu had gotten really good at that lately.

There was one beam of hope for the Chou parents though, something that lessened their worry albeit slightly. The college that both her siblings attended was having an open weekend for potential students. Tzuyu had been booked to go since applications opened, planning to stay the night at Victoria’s dorm. Hopefully, either Victoria or Jackson would talk her into opening up to them. The Chou parents didn’t need Tzuyu to talk to them if she didn’t feel comfortable to, even though the idea hurt. They just wanted her to talk to someone about what was wrong.

Tzuyu had never been close to her siblings. It was always Jackson and Victoria arguing when they were little, Tzuyu was more of a background character in their sitcom. They got into crazy hijinks when the duo were little while Tzuyu just laughed at them getting in trouble. That was the extent of it really. It was usually those two and then Tzuyu was hanging out with her dad.

It wasn’t that they didn’t love each other, they just did so in their own way.

So while Jackson didn’t call his baby sister a lot, he did ask his friends that were still at school to keep an eye on her. They had kept him posted on everything going on. From her fight with Jeongyeon, to hanging out with the school psychos, to the latest bullying. He had been given some time to figure out how to approach that last one with her. Given how she was being treated at school, he could guarantee she wouldn’t tell him willingly.

But if he asked a general “are you okay?” she would lie. Or down play it. Jackson didn’t like secrets so he would rather just play his hand. He would tell her that he knew and that it was okay, that he loved her still and wasn’t going anywhere. Sure, at first he’d been shocked. He’d been in denial. But then he saw the comments under his friends’ (ex friends now) posts and found himself seething. It was none of their business and Tzuyu could date who she wanted.

Ultimately, he loved his sister. He just wanted her to be happy and was more than happy to bypass his own initial discomfort to support her.

Jackson picked her up from the bus station with a big hug. This wasn’t a normal thing for them. But when Tzuyu had approached him, she looked so empty. The smile on her face faker than a Kardashian. It broke his heart, seeing his beautiful sister looking so small and clinging to him like he was the only thing grounding her to the world. Tzuyu wasn’t a hugger. This wasn’t a loving hug of a missed family member.

This was Tzuyu trying to ask for comfort.

Once he was released, he picked up her backpack and they walked to the apartment he shared with his college friends. Jackson was in his second year of college and lived off campus. If he wasn’t sharing with other guys he would have let Tzuyu stay on the couch. After three of them tried to hook up with Victoria, he wasn’t taking any chances. But luckily they’d all disappeared for the day so he could spend time with his siblings.

They sat on the couch together, Jackson tried to catch her up on his life. Asked about her as vaguely as he could, but her answers were small and gave away nothing. Eventually, things fell into an awkward silence. Tzuyu not having anything to say and Jackson not knowing where to start.

“Hey…” He started, wincing at how awkward he sounded,

She looked at him, eyes wide and innocent.

“So, we don’t have to talk about it.” He continued, “But I need to tell you…JB called me last week.”

The fear in Tzuyu’s eyes made him wish he’d never said anything.

“Jackson…look--”

“I just want you to know,” He quickly interrupted, softly, “I love you. I’m here for you and if anyone says anything I’ll beat their ass….”

Tzuyu sent him a look.

“I’ll get Victoria to beat their ass!”

She smiled, a small smile but it was there.

“So, you don’t think I’m a freak?” Tzuyu asked, quietly,

“Of course not.” He wrapped his arm round her and pulled her into his side, “There’s nothing wrong with you. I got you.”

_I got you._

At those words Tzuyu let out a sniffle and began softly crying into his side as she spilled everything. Her friendship with Blackpink, her crush on Mina, Siyeon…all of it. He didn’t offer advice or words of comfort. No cliche statements, no pushing. Jackson just listened. That’s all Tzuyu had ever wanted, someone to LISTEN to her. As the talked and talked, he just held her - hanging on her every word.

When she told him about what happened after she was outed, he made a noise in protest but that was all he contributed. That pissed him off. Especially when Tzuyu let slip that JB had been sitting with Nayeon as it all went down. He was going to talk to his friend, set that idiots priorities straight. Once everything was out in the open Tzuyu was still crying, though it wasn’t sad. They were happy tears. Finally, she felt safe.

She felt the way she SHOULD have been feeling all along. Respected, validated…human.

This is what coming out should be like.

The front door opened and a human hurricane walked through the door with dark shades on and a cappuccino in hand. Victoria was the most popular girl at their high school when she was there, the stereotypical party girl. Sana had even looked up to her, marvelling at her sinful ways. There was a period of time where Tzuyu resented her sister. Her parents had been so busy trying to wrangle her, the youngest often got forgotten.

But now Tzuyu kind of missed having her around, she could have really used some help the last few weeks. If anyone could get people to back off it was Chou Victoria.

“Hello!!” Victoria sang as she swept through the door, “Ignore the glasses, I went to this party last night and woke up in---Oh my God! Why are you crying!?”

Like lightening Victoria was on her other side, pulling her into her arms and squeezing the living hell out of her.

“Who do I need to kill!?” Victoria snapped, “Cause I’ll go all kinds of Kill Bill on those bitches.”

“Try an entire school…” Jackson muttered still a little mad himself,

Victoria let Tzuyu breathe but kept her arms round her, “Huh?”

Jackson looked at Tzuyu, sure he’d said it - but he shouldn’t have. This was Tzuyu’s secret to share and he would not take that away from her. Tzuyu looked away and sighed.

For once, just once. She wanted to come out and have a GOOD experience. With Jackson willing to fight her corner she felt confident enough to see if Victoria would do the same.

But old nerves are hard to kill…

“Please don’t be mad.” Tzuyu looked at her,

At seeing the nerves in her little sisters eyes, Victoria removed her sunglasses. This seemed serious.

“Of course not.”

Tzuyu swallowed, mentally preparing herself.

Victoria met her eyes, worry shining through.

Tears sprung back to Tzuyu’s, getting rejected by family would kill her.

“Tzuyu? What’s wrong?”

Deep breath…

“I’m gay.” Tzuyu told her,

Silence.

For a moment Tzuyu’s gut twisted in the exact same way it always did. Making her feel dirty, making her feel like she should have kept quiet. But before it could hit at full force, Victoria pulled her forward. Wrapping her up in the tightest hug she could.

“Congratulations!” Victoria said, rocking them, “I’m so proud of you, kiddo.”

“R-Really?”

Victoria pulled away, grabbing Tzuyu’s hands, “Of course! Thank you for telling me, not that you had to.”

Tzuyu started crying again and the trio had a long group hug on the couch.

“Do Mama and Papa know?” Victoria asked after a while,

“No…but I got outed at school.” Tzuyu sighed, “I’m going to have to tell them.”

“Hey,” Jackson nudged her, “I can’t guarantee their reaction, but we’re here for you.”

“Yeah, we’re behind you all the way.” Suddenly Victoria pulled away, “Wait! Before you leave you have to let me set you up!”

Tzuyu froze, then suddenly she was giggling. Probably from the relief over how normal her siblings were being.

“You can’t set the poor girl up with some college chick!” Jackson snapped,

“I never said I was!” Victoria rolled her eyes, “My roommate, Cheng Xiao. Her cousin is a lesbian, she’s visiting to see the college. I can totally set it up! Please?”

“I don’t know…I just got dumped.”

“By who!?” Jackson asked in disbelief,

“I assume the girl she snuck out to see.” Victoria smirked,

Tzuyu’s blush was damming.

“Come on!!” Victoria smiled, “Let me do this. You’ll really get along with her I promise!”

Tzuyu exchanged a look with Jackson who shrugged. He didn’t want his sister dating anyone.

“Fine…” Tzuyu sighed,

It’d be nice to meet people who didn’t automatically start glaring at her.

“Great! I’ll get it set up!”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes at her sister’s excitement.

“What’s her name, anyway?”

“Elkie.”

_Hmm…Elkie…_


	21. Chapter Twenty - Elkie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to have a big Blackpink confrontation but because people asked I’m going to just explain here what’s going on with them and Tzuyu.

** **

** **Chapter Twenty - Elkie** **

** **

**_**From Rosé:** _ ** _Tzuyu it’s been weeks. I’m worried. Please call me._

Tzuyu sighed, putting her phone back in her pocket without responding to the message. She felt bad, having been ignoring Rosé and the others for the last few weeks, but right now she thought it was the right choice to make. While Rosé and Lisa were tough and acted like the insults didn’t effect them, Tzuyu still remembered the looks on their faces when they heard Sana use the slur. Knowing how it feels now for herself, she didn’t want to risk them being insulted too.

After all they’d done for her it would be awful to drag them into the cross fire. So she had avoided them ever since she was outed. Not wanted them to be dragged into her mess. Sure, there were rumours that they had turned her or warped her mind etcetera. But otherwise the Blackpink girls weren’t being messed with and that made it all worthwhile not getting them involved. Tzuyu would do anything to protect her friends, loyal to a fault.

Right now she was stood outside some restaurant, waiting for this Elkie girl to show up. Victoria had insisted on her borrowing some of her clothes for her date, trying to get her more excited for it than she was. Back before Tzuyu was out and not-proud, Nayeon and Sana had continuously offered to set her up but she had refused. To be honest, she wasn’t a fan of the process. Tzuyu wasn’t a people person and so preferred to let things go naturally.

Set ups seemed so hit and miss from what she’d heard. Plus it almost made her appear a little desperate that she couldn’t find her own date and her SISTER had to find one for her. It just seemed pathetic. But, at this point Tzuyu would welcome any distraction from the train wreck that was her life. After the way things happened with Siyeon, Tzuyu had made sure to get her head right.

She knew not to expect anything. Tzuyu believed that life was based on experiences and chose to view this as one. An experience. Besides, at eighteen years old there was no harm in going on a few dates here or there. It wasn’t like it was one date then marriage. Despite the abrupt way it had ended, Tzuyu had enjoyed her time with Siyeon. She didn’t regret any of it. For a first crush it was enough. Had Chaeyoung been there she would have said “Don’t be sad it ended, be happy it happened!”.

Who knows what was waiting for her?

“Are you Tzuyu?” Someone asked from behind her,

Tzuyu turned round and completely forgot Korean.

The girl in front of her was stunning. Shorter than herself, with long brown hair and beautiful features. She was smiling up at her, eyebrows raised awaiting an answer to her question. Oh shit…what was the question again?

“Y-Yeah!” Tzuyu squeaked, blushing bright red and clearing her throat, “I-I-I mean yes, I’m Tzuyu. You must be Elkie!”

Almost immediately, Tzuyu made the comparison in her head. She hadn’t meant to but she only had one romantic experience to go off. When she and Siyeon had first met, the first thing the older girl did was check her out. Elkie’s eyes never left her face, sweet smile staying put. It somehow relaxed her, following her earlier slight gay panic. Something about Elkie was comforting, Tzuyu couldn’t really place why but she just was.

“Shall we go inside?” Elkie asked, jabbing her thumb towards the restaurant,

“Uhh yeah,” Tzuyu walked to the door and held it open, “After you.”

“Such a gentlewoman.” Elkie commented,

Tzuyu just went even redder and scoffed slightly in protest.

Elkie chuckled a little before walking in and going towards the maître de stand. Suddenly, Tzuyu felt a little under dressed. She’d stopped Victoria from putting her in anything too fancy but now that she’d seen how swanky this place was...dammit her big sister had been right! Elkie looked good though. Not over dressed, not in pyjamas either. Tzuyu blinked, snapping herself back to reality and running to catch up. She needed to stop staring.

“Table for two please.” Elkie asked,

“Right this way, ladies.”

They followed the man through the partially busy restaurant. It was mostly full of couples, making Tzuyu a little nervous. Would people look at them funny? Would they say anything? Would the management kick them out? She needed to calm down, if she freaked out she may as well just tell Elkie to go home as to not waste her time. Almost automatically, Tzuyu pulled the chair out for her. Elkie looked surprised but thanked her as she sat down.

Tzuyu hadn’t really thought much of the gestures. She just remembered what her ex-friends had said they wished guys did for them on dates. Now, Tzuyu wasn’t a guy but neither was the person she was on the date with. This had confused her at first until she had voiced her thoughts to Victoria.

_“If you reach the door first hold it open. Do what’s natural….and always offer to pay! Even if they end up splitting the bill it makes you look good!”_

“So tell me about yourself?” Elkie asked once they were sat down,

Tzuyu shrugged, “There’s not much to tell really. I’m a senior at JYP High School and…and I just realised I’m boring.”

Elkie had her arms folded on the table, leaning forward as though she were really interested in whatever Tzuyu was saying. If she hadn’t been so boring, Tzuyu may have believed she really was interested.

“I doubt that.” Was Elkie’s response, “What do you do in your down time?”

_Think Chou, think!_

“I’ve been helping my dad build a motorcycle.”

“Wow, that’s cool!”

“It’s really not,” Tzuyu laughed, “But I want to study engineering at college and this is a good thing to put on my application.”

Elkie nodded, “Why engineering?”

“I like helping my dad fix cars,” Tzuyu explained, “I like getting something broken and making it whole again. Is that lame?”

_It was lame…_

“Not at all.” Elkie told her, “It’s a nice sentiment.”

_She’s sweet…but lying._

They were interrupted by a waiter coming over to give them their menus and take their drinks order. Both thanking him, they opened their menus to decide what to order.

“What about you?” Tzuyu asked,

“What about me?” Elkie repeated,

“What do you want to study?”

Elkie lowered her menu a moment to think, “Psychology or Philosophy. I don’t know what I want to do in the future but I want to use college to get some real world experiences.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Tzuyu thought a moment, “Expensive though!”

Elkie laughed, “I got offered a soccer scholarship, so it’s all free.”

“Lucky you!” Tzuyu told her, “Wait…what school?”

“Cube Prep.”

“Oh! You guys are good, our team gets thrashed.”

“I don’t know, Park and Myoui are pretty good.”

Tzuyu suddenly looked like she swallowed a lemon, “Yeah…I used to know them actually.”

“Used to?” Something clicked in Elkie’s eyes, “Ohh. Don’t be mad but Cheng Xiao told me about your tough coming out.”

Tzuyu looked shocked.

“I think she wanted me to be gentle,” Elkie defended, “It was well intended.”

The waiter came and gave them their drinks. Enjoying the break in conversation, Tzuyu let Elkie order first - taking a moment to choose for herself. After he had left again, an awkward atmosphere settled and Tzuyu felt bad for causing it. Elkie reached across the table and rested a hand on hers.

“Hey,” She said softly, “Let’s not talk about all that.”

Tzuyu looked up and met her eyes.

Realising she may have crossed a boundary, Elkie sat back but maintained her smile, “What’s your…umm…least favourite school subject?”

“Maths.”

Elkie sent her a look, “You want to be an engineer but you don’t like maths?”

“I said I didn’t like it, not that I wasn’t good at it.” Tzuyu joked, “What about you?”

“Gym, hence all the soccer.”

“What position do you like?”

Elkie held back a laugh and Tzuyu went red.

“To play! Position do you like to play!”

“I’m a goalkeeper.” Elkie told her, “And as a goalkeeper - nice save!”

Tzuyu joined her in the laughter.

They talked through the whole meal, even eating while the other spoke so that there wasn’t a gap in conversation. It was different to her time with Siyeon. Siyeon was a very physical person, always kissing and hugging her. Not that Tzuyu minded, it was just that Elkie was different. Elkie and Tzuyu just had this weird connection. Like a puzzle piece, something between them just clicked. It almost didn’t feel like a first date, it felt like they had known each other forever.

After they’d finished eating, including a brief argument over who would pay before unanimously deciding to split it, the couple found themselves back in front of the restaurant. It was later in the day now, the sun just beginning to set overhead. Tzuyu’s heart faltered a little as she looked at Elkie under this knew filter. The orange tones of the sky amplifying her ethereal looks. Elkie was having a very similar problem, so both looked away - embarrassed.

“So…” Elkie broke the silence, “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.”

More awkward gay silence.

“I guess I’ll see you around then.” Elkie said, eyes hopeful,

“Uhh yeah! I’m staying with my sister again tonight, maybe I’ll see you tomorrow before I head home?”

“Yeah…” Elkie’s eyes dulled, “Maybe…”

Awkwarder gayer silence.

“I’ll see you later then.” Elkie muttered turning to walk away,

Tzuyu fought with herself for a moment. She didn’t feel like going home yet, but didn’t want to seem too desperate. Something inside her was telling her that there was something good here. She didn’t know what the feeling was but what she did know, was that Elkie made her feel special.

“Hey!” She called out before Elkie got too far,

The other girl turned, surprised.

“D-Do you wanna do something?” Tzuyu stammered, “Like…now?”

Elkie’s lips stretched into a big smile and she walked back over, “What did you have in mind?”

Tzuyu froze, “I didn’t think this far ahead.”

Elkie hummed, trying not to laugh, “Why don’t we go for a walk and see what we find?”

Not usually one for spontaneity, Tzuyu shocked herself by nodding. They walked down the street together, Elkie happily talking about anything and everything and Tzuyu hanging off her every word. At one point, Elkie took the leap and held Tzuyu’s hand. Little electric shocks went up Tzuyu’s arm, distracting her from the fear of people staring. Actually, she found she didn’t care.

Elkie didn’t mind being seen holding her hand.

Tzuyu didn’t care if she was caught holding Elkie’s hand.

So they continued to do so for the rest of their walk. Tzuyu smiling the entire time. Nobody stared or whispered at them. Nobody attacked them or threw things. They just ignored them as bystanders would a normal couple. Because they were a normal couple. There was no difference between them and a straight couple. All of this ultimately bringing Tzuyu to a conclusion she had never found before.

That if this is how it felt to be out and be proud, then maybe (just maybe) she could do this.

Maybe once the dust had settled, being out would be less scary.

Because holding Elkie’s hand made her feel brave.

It made her feel proud.


	22. Chapter Twenty-One - Try

** **Chapter Twenty-One - Try** **

** **

Tzuyu was out in the garage, by herself.

She and her father had spent the afternoon finishing the motorcycle and finally it was ready for the open road. He’d let her test drive it and it was a smooth ride, she would be sad when they sold it on. Part of her was already kind bummed that it was finished. It had been a source of distraction over the last few months while her world imploded. Now there she was, sitting pretty all fixed up in the garage. The garage door was open, the relaxing sounds of the wind in the trees putting Tzuyu in her happy place.

School was still very stressful, with extra pressure stemming from her continued avoidance of her friends. Things had yet to die down and she refused to wrap Rosé or Lisa up in her mess. It made her feel all the more lonely but in moments like this she felt happy. Truly, happy and at peace.

Her father had gone to drag out her mother to show the bike off, leaving Tzuyu to polish it up to get all the finger marks and grease off. It was something she probably could do a lot quicker than she was, but this part required some time. She liked taking the time to really make the metal gleam under the sunlight. When she graduated the plan was to ask Papa Chou if they could make her a bike of her own, she’d been saving up for parts so he could hardly say no.

Focusing on a particularly stubborn mark on one of the handle bars, Tzuyu didn’t hear footsteps coming up the driveway. Elkie stopped just under the garage door, folding her arms and leaning on the wall. Realistically, it would probably be a good idea to announce her presence but in her eyes Tzuyu looked so cute focusing, her little tongue poking out in concentration. Who was Elkie to disrupt that?

They had been on a couple of dates now, enjoying each others company. Elkie texted Tzuyu all throughout their school day, offering support and cheering her on. Likewise they’d taken to doing their homework together via Skype, Tzuyu helping Elkie when the older girl got bored and lost focus. It had only been a couple of weeks, but Elkie hoped this was something that was going to last.

“It’s rude to stare.” Tzuyu mumbled after a while,

“How long have you known?” Elkie pouted,

“Ever since you let out that adoring sigh.” Tzuyu told her, standing up and walking over,

“Ah…I see.” Elkie blushed, hugging Tzuyu once she was close enough, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Tzuyu greeted, pulling away but holding Elkie’s hands instead, “What’re you doing here?”

“Don’t want to see me?” Elkie joked, “I see how it is.”

“Oh, shut up…you know that’s not true.” Tzuyu whined,

Elkie giggled, “I’m just passing through, the girls are waiting in the car.”

Tzuyu looked past her to a group of girls frantically waving outside from inside a large BMW. Elkie groaned and pushed Tzuyu further inside the garage so her friends couldn’t see them. Tzuyu ended up pinned between her and her father’s work bench. When Elkie looked up at her both suddenly realised how close they were. Despite the few dates they’d had, they still hadn’t kissed. All their dates had been in public places and Tzuyu still wasn’t that confident.

But right now it was all they could think about.

The air became hot and neither moved a muscle, scared of either ruining the moment or going to far when the other wasn’t ready. But when Elkie caught Tzuyu’s eyes dropping to her lips and then back to her eyes, she took it as a green light. Leaning forward, up on her toes, to peck the taller girl gently. Tzuyu barely had time to close her eyes before Elkie pulled away. When she opened them again Elkie was smiling at her.

It was like some invisible barrier had broken. A new step forward for them. It made both girls feel all warm and happy inside. After a moment they both giggled a little, but kept the embrace - not wanting to part just yet.

“So…just dropping in huh?” Tzuyu mumbled with a beaming smile,

“Uh-huh!” Elkie hummed, “We’re playing JYP on Friday.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Elkie looked a little nervous, stepping out of their private bubble just enough to root through her bag, “And you can totally say no, ‘cause I don’t want to make your school life worse. But…”

She produced a letterman jacket from her bag.

“...the teams at my school have this tradition that their partners wear their jackets at games.” Elkie played with the fabric, “I want you to come…as my…partner.”

Tzuyu thought for a moment. If people saw her at the game, cheering for the opposite side, that would be her life there completely over. But Tzuyu no longer cared about that. She wanted to go, to support Elkie. Tzuyu wanted to wear her jacket, wanted to shout to the world that the beautiful girl before her was hers.

Fuck what anyone else thought!

“I’d love to.” Tzuyu whispered, taking the jacket,

Elkie looked up, smile stretching across her lips, “Really!?”

“Yes!” Tzuyu laughed,

Excited, Elkie closed the gap again - this kiss lasting a heartbeat longer than the first and filling Tzuyu’s insides with butterflies.

_HONK! HONK!_

Elkie pulled back with an eyeroll, “I’M COMING!”

Tzuyu giggled and let her go, “Go, I’ll see you at the match on Friday.”

Elkie swung their clasped hands, “Okay…”

“Okay.” Tzuyu repeated,

Elkie said goodbye and walked back out to her friends. A buzzing Tzuyu, watching her go, clutching the jacket in her hands with a big grin.

“Who was that?”

Tzuyu’s grin dropped and she span round. There were both her parents, her father shocked and her mother as white as a sheet. Internally she cursed herself for being so careless. But surprisingly, she didn’t feel panicked about them knowing. No, she was more irritated with herself for not considering this would happen.

“I can explain!”

Her father crossed his arms looking expectantly.

“I’m…” Tzuyu took a breath, “I’m a lesbian. That’s Elkie, we’re….together.”

Her parents just stared at her, saying nothing. A few months ago this would have filled her with terror. She would panic about their lack of response, her mind jumping to the worst. But after everything she’d gone through recently, Tzuyu just didn’t have it in her to care any more. Rejection would hurt, but it wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change who she was and honestly, she was tired. However, their silence was still tense.

“Please say something.”

Her Mama’s mouth opened and closed for a moment, “You…and a girl.”

“Ziyu,” Her father swallowed, “Y-You’re gay…?”

“Yes, Papa.”

“H-How!?” Mr Chou burst, confused,

“Are you sure?” Mrs Chou asked, “Ziyu, all girls get strange thoughts during puberty it’s completely normal--”

“It’s not a phase, so don’t even say it.” Tzuyu snapped, “And before you go there it isn’t a choice either. I’ve been through hell because of who I am. I get picked on at school, Jihyo and the others can barely look at me and I’m constantly angry because I have to keep this significant part of myself hidden just in case the wrong person finds out. This isn’t some random thing I’ve decided in the last hour. It’s been a long process.”

Now everything made sense. Her parents could finally see the connection between the teenage angst, the falling out with her friends…all of it.

“Look,” Tzuyu sighed, calming down, “I love you both so much, I’m not doing this to hurt you. But it’s not something that I can change. In fact…I don’t want to change it. So if you don’t agree with that, then that’s your problem not mine.”

“Ziyu,” Her Mother held up a hand, “Please, this is a lot to take in.”

Tzuyu looked down.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I was scared.”

A soft hand landed on her shoulder. Tzuyu looked up into her mother’s eyes, she was crying.

“You never have to be scared to tell us anything.” Her mother told her, “You’re our child.”

“R-Really?”

“Of course,” Her father chimed in, “I can’t pretend it’s not a shock. Y’know when I was a kid I used the slurs and the insults, it’s a reality check. But we love you, Chocolate. Even if I don’t get it, I want to. Let us try.”

“I wont say I understand your feelings,” Mrs Chou sighed, “I will still grieve the life I always dreamed for you. A nice husband, kids…but that’s my own problem. Not yours.”

Tzuyu pulled her mother into a hug.

“What did you mean by ‘trouble at school’?” Mr Chou asked,

“It’s a long story.” Tzuyu mumbled into her mother’s shoulder,

Her mother pulled away, “No more secrets. We want to know what’s been going on.”

Tzuyu looked between them and then sighed, “We should sit down, it’s kind of a lot.”

“Let me call work and tell them I need the rest of the day off.”

Tzuyu smiled and followed her parents inside.

“How long have you been practising that speech?” Her father asked,

“About six weeks.”

“Huh…it was good.”

Tzuyu laughed.

Finally, everything was right in the world.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two - Proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE AND THREATS

****

** **Chapter Twenty-Two - Proud** **

** **

To say Tzuyu wasn’t nervous as they pulled up to the school would be a lie.

Elkie had come to pick her up that day, leading to a very awkward introduction with Tzuyu’s parents. They had insisted on meeting her, determined to prove to Tzuyu that everything was normal. Her father even gave the “respect my daughter” talk that he’d always planned. With a few edits here and there to account for gender. Tzuyu had all but dragged Elkie from the house, thoroughly embarrassed. However, now that they were here she kind of wished they’d stayed at hers longer.

She had been reassured that Cube Prep wouldn’t harass her. Sure, it was a school like hers and had the same insults and jokes. But as Elkie was the star goalkeeper, she got a pass from the bullying and by association so did Tzuyu. It relieved some of the pressure. Knowing that Cube Prep kids wouldn’t beat her up or anything. Ultimately, she was more afraid of what her own school would think. Not only was she about to be seen with her girlfriend, she was wearing the rival schools colours. Trading in the JYP blue and white for Cube blue and black.

One colour difference was still a huge difference.

Still, it was time. Tzuyu was fed up of having to hide away and pretend to be something she wasn’t.

They’d pulled up o the visitor’s end of the pitch and Tzuyu spotted a few girls in the Cube Prep kit waiting for them. Elkie had gotten changed at Tzuyu’s so she didn’t need to go to the changing rooms. This meant Tzuyu wouldn’t be abandoned up until the match. Plus, Elkie could introduce her to her friends. Tzuyu couldn’t use the “oh no you go get changed” card to put it off. These girls meant a lot to Elkie, she wanted them to meet her…romantic affiliate.

Tzuyu just hoped they liked her.

“El!” One girl called as they got out of the car,

Elkie momentarily left her to run over to greet her friends. Tzuyu watched with a smile as she observed from a distance. Seeing the girl she liked all happy and interacting with her friends was adorable. You can tell a lot from a person by the company they keep. After a while, Elkie turned to look at her. Holding out a hand for the taller girl to take. Doing so Tzuyu nervously approached.

“Tzuyu,” Elkie began, “This is Sorn, Seunghee and Yujin. Girls this is Tzuyu!”

Tzuyu smiled, looking a little scared.

“Aww no need to be so nervous!” Seunghee told her,

“Yeah, we don’t bite!” Added Yujin,

“Elkie wouldn’t let us anyway.”

“Sorn!” Elkie snapped,

Tzuyu laughed. The girls were kind enough to her, noticing she was nervous and so asking her basic questions. Elkie, for her part, kept their fingers intertwined. Squeezing gently when she felt Tzuyu get anxious. She knew her…umm…Tzuyu wasn’t good with new people as they tended to overwhelm her, so she was quick to walk them out to the pitch when she recognised Tzuyu looking tense.

Walking over to the pitch Tzuyu gripped Elkie’s hand tighter as the anxiety rose. When they reached the edge Elkie pointed over to where her school supporters were stood. They then turned to watch the JYP girls team warm up.

“Which one’s Mina?” Elkie asked,

“Why?”

Tzuyu had told Elkie her full coming out story by now.

“Cause I wanna beat her into the ground.”

“No fouling my ex-crush.” Tzuyu smirked,

“Ex-crush?” Elkie teased, “So you have a new crush now?”

“Yup,” Tzuyu played along, “She’s a soccer player, only a goalkeeper though so…”

“Only a goalkeeper!?” Elkie pushed her lightly,

“Yeah…makes her a great catch.”

_Silence._

“Give me back my jacket.” Elkie joked,

Tzuyu stepped away, wrapping the green letterman tightly around herself, “Nope. Mine now!”

“CHONG C’MON!” Her coach yelled, “QUIT FLIRTING AND START YOUR WARM UP!”

Elkie blushed and ran over to her team, Tzuyu laughing at her expense. When she looked up though she realised she had caught the eye of a few people due to the display. Mina and Jihyo were stood with their back to her at the other end of the field talking to the others. But Jeongyeon’s eyes occasionally drifting to her told her what they were talking about. Subtlety was not their strong suit. Suddenly, Tzuyu felt super self conscious - especially after noticing a number of supporters on that side whisper.

Then she realised three girls were heading her way, looking pissed off. Tzuyu swallowed her nerves, mentally preparing for this confrontation. Other than the spaghetti incident nobody had done anything more physical than a shoulder barge. If this got ugly, Tzuyu didn’t know how she’d handle it. She wasn’t a fighter…

“What the hell, Chou?” One girl snapped, “Are you trying to get people to hate you?”

“She’s doing it for attention I swear.” Girl 2# said, glaring,

“How pathetic?” Girl 3# cackled, “Going dyke for attention.”

Tzuyu shrunk in on herself, not knowing what else to do.

“Y’know,” Girl 1# said, tone shifting, “I know a few guys over there that could probably fix you.”

Tzuyu gulped.

Girl 1# walked closer, jabbing an acrylic nail into her chest, “Have one or two waiting for you and your little girlfriend after the match.”

“They’d love you two…” Girl 2# smirked,

“Sure, at first it’ll hurt.” Girl 1# continued, “But after a good dicking you’ll be craving it.”

The threat scared Tzuyu more than any other she had recieved over the last few weeks.

Girl 3# joined in, “Fuck you normal again. You’d thank them after.”

Tzuyu began feeling dirty, just talking about it made her feel exposed and vulnerable. Reminding her that she was all alone. She felt herself start to tear up.

“Aww look she’s crying again.”

“Diddums…”

“How sweet?” Girl 3# chuckled, “Don’t act like your not begging for it. Deliberately antagonising everyone by wearing that jacket.”

“Maybe I should go get the guys.” Girl 2# suggested,

“Hmm maybe,” Girl 1# thought, “Or maybe we could just beat the gay out of---OWW!”

Suddenly, Girl 1#’s head was pulled backwards by their hair. Jennie dragged the girl to the floor while the other two were restrained by Lisa and Jisoo. Rosé placed herself between them and a shaking Tzuyu.

“What you gonna do, huh!?” Rosé growled, “Because I’m telling you, if you so much as LOOK in our girl’s direction again Jennie here will do a lot more than rip out your cheap extensions.”

Jennie leaned down and whispered a threat of her own in the girl’s ear. Tzuyu couldn’t hear it from where she was but from how pale the girl got she could tell it was deadly. Jennie let her go and stood up, Lisa and Jisoo also releasing Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee at the same time.

“Now off you fuck.” Rosé snapped,

The girls scampered off but Jennie was still seething.

“How dare they fucking talk to you like that?” She grumbled, “Say the word Tzu and I’ll fucking end them.”

Tzuyu just shook her head, “They’re not worth it.”

Jisoo met her eyes, “You’ve been avoiding us.”

All eyes went to Tzuyu, begging for an answer. They had worried they’d done something wrong.

Tzuyu sighed, “I didn’t want Rosé and Lisa to get dragged into it.”

Rosé frowned, wrapping an arm round Tzuyu’s shoulders, “You’re kidding…”

“Tzuyu, we’re big girls. We can handle ourselves.” Lisa told her,

“You’re one of us now, Chou.” Jennie told her, “You’re stuck with us, suck it up.”

Jisoo laughed, “That’s the nicest thing Jennie’s ever said to anyone.”

Tzuyu giggled.

“We’re here for you,” Rosé smiled, “We got you.”

_We got you._

Tzuyu would never forget that again.

______

The game was nearing full time and it was anybodies game really.

The way the league stood at the moment, JYP only needed a draw to stay on the top. If Cube won that would earn them enough points to over take that first place spot. But this was for more than just points. Elkie was fighting for Tzuyu’s honour out there. Not letting Park Jihyo get one shot in the goal. Irene had managed to get a couple through but Cube had matched them with ease. Sorn, on behalf of Elkie, sunk three shots past Mina. With a smug smile telling the JYP goalkeeper who really sent them.

Tzuyu and Blackpink…wait….all the Blackpink girls stood on Cube’s side, cheering them on enthusiastically. At first Tzuyu had been timid about it but, surrounded by her friends, she got more and more confident. Plus, she wanted to cheer on Elkie. She wanted her to know she was proud to wear her jacket. That she was proud to be hers.

In the last minute Jihyo was tearing down midfield, with the score at 3-2 to Cube all she needed to do was equalise and they would stay in first place. Desperate to stop her from getting that shot, one of the Cube defenders went for the tackle. Only they missed and tripped Jihyo up instead, a defening roar of protest coming from the opposite side.

The whistle blew indicating a foul, granting JYP a free kick right in front of the goal.

An extra minute was added, leaving everyone in a tense atmosphere. This would be the final shot of the game, JYP’s last chance. Tzuyu watched Jihyo’s expression as she stood, her jaw was locked tight indicating that she was frustrated. The referee placed the ball in the appropriate spot and the Cube girls made a wall between Jihyo and Elkie. Looking at the Cube goalkeeper, Elkie’s usually sweet smiling face was changed to one of pure determination.

She was not letting this goal in.

Not just to win first place, not just for school pride, not even to prove her spot as Cube’s number one goalkeeper. No, she was going to save this for Tzuyu. If these girls could leave her sweet, beautiful, innocent Tzuyu with nothing then Elkie was going to do the same. Now into extra time, they only had a minute left to keep their advantage.

_60 seconds…_

Jihyo picked up the ball and rubbed it on her shirt to dry it, the rain from last night having made the pitch a little damp.

_50 seconds…_

Elkie took her stance in the centre of the goal, ready and waiting.

_40 seconds…_

Jihyo put the ball back down on the right spot.

_30 seconds…_

The striker began to take a few steps back, eyes analysing the perfect point to aim.

_20 seconds…_

Tzuyu held her breath.

_10 seconds_

Jihyo ran forward and slammed the ball over the wall.

It curved towards the top left corner and Elkie dived for it.

Elkie landed, cheers erupting from everywhere as the final whistle blew…

Ball held tightly in her hands.

Tzuyu didn’t even spare the JYP team a glance as she cheered on her girl. Watching as Elkie’s team mates held her on their shoulders and chanted her name. She sought out Tzuyu’s eyes from her vantage point and when she saw the tall girl cheering as loud as she could, a huge grin spread across her face. Tzuyu knew her friends were smirking at her but she didn’t care, she was being supportive dammit.

Once Elkie was put down she ran over to Tzuyu and pulled her into a hug.

“You did great!” Tzuyu told her when they parted,

“I did it for you…”

“AWWWW!” Was the somewhat sarcastic reply from Tzuyu’s friends,

Minus Jennie who said, “I’m going to throw up.”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes and parted from Elkie, “Ignore her. These are my friends; Lisa, Rosé, Jennie and Jisoo.”

“Hi!” Elkie greeted,

As they got acquainted, Tzuyu’s eyes drifted behind Elkie’s head to where her ex-friends stood comforting Jihyo and Mina. Jihyo was ranting, not the best loser and Mina…Mina was looking at her. The older girl’s face was unreadable but for once Tzuyu matched her gaze. She felt nothing. No fluttering stomach or sweaty palms. No heart palpitations. Sure, she missed the friendships she once had with Mina and the others but now…now she didn’t care.

“Hey you okay?” Elkie asked,

Tzuyu’s eyes snapped to her and she smiled, “Yeah, I really am.”

_Let them watch._

Tzuyu then closed the gap and kissed Elkie, earning cheers and laughter from both their friend groups. She didn’t care who looked, who judged. This was who she was, who she had always wanted to be. Tzuyu was finally happy with herself and her life, nobody was taking that away from her again.

“Wow…” Was all Elkie mumbled when they parted,

“Lisa~” Rosé cried dramatically, “Our baby gay is all grown up!”

Tzuyu giggled and Elkie took her hand, “We’re going to celebrate with ice cream, you want to come?”

“Sure.”

“We’re coming too!” Jennie announced,

Lisa smirked at Elkie, “We need to make sure you’re right for our precious baby gay.”

Elkie looked terrified and all Tzuyu could do was giggle.

She couldn’t help it, she was happy.

Elkie made her happy.

And right in this moment, nothing would make her happier than getting ice cream with Elkie and all their friends.

Except maybe one thing…

“Can you guys stop calling me baby gay!?”


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three - Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Was up till 7am trying to finish this!

** **

** **Chapter Twenty-Three - Apologies** **

** **

“Why is the woman in love with a bee!?”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes, “I don’t know, plot convenience?”

Elkie kept the shocked expression on her face, making Tzuyu giggle. It was Sunday and Tzuyu’s parents had been gone all weekend to visit her brother and sister. Because she was busy yesterday, Elkie had come over today to watch movies instead. So there they were, all cuddled up on Tzuyu’s couch watching the Bee Movie and critiquing. Elkie had the habit of talking through whatever they watched, which was both annoying and funny at times. But Tzuyu didn’t mind really, happy to let her get on with it.

After the soccer match on Friday, something had changed in their relationship. Nervous touches and stammering words became public hand holding and loud laughter. Tzuyu had suddenly had this huge confidence boost. Now when she and Elkie were out together, Tzuyu wasn’t looking over her shoulder just in case someone said something. When they went to get ice cream after the match, Tzuyu wouldn’t let her hand go even as their friends teased them.

“And now they’re taking the bee to court,” Elkie said, “This movie sucks.”

“Bee Movie is a great piece of cinema.” Tzuyu defended,

“I don’t care!” Elkie whined, “Can we watch something else?”

“No I’m enjoying this.”

Elkie sent the puppy dog eyes, “Please~”

Tzuyu sighed, “Fine.”

“Thank you, baby!” Elkie smiled, pecking Tzuyu’s cheek,

Both girls froze. The pet name taking them both off guard. Instead of commenting on it, Tzuyu just handed her the remote and let Elkie snuggle further into her side. After a moment they decided on Cats and Dogs. Elkie knew Tzuyu loved animals, especially dogs. Gucci, Tzuyu’s dog, was grumpily napping on the armchair after being ejected from his favourite spot on Tzuyu’s lap when Elkie came over. She thinks the little dog didn’t like her very much.

If he continued to fight her for Tzuyu’s affection then she wouldn’t like him much either.

They lay and watched the movie for a while, Tzuyu pulling the blanket off the back of the sofa at one point and covered them with it. The taller girl was laying up against the arm rest while Elkie laid on her front cuddled into her. Being all warm and snuggled had it’s effects on the shorter of the two. Elkie started dozing off, focusing less on the movie and more on the light patterns Tzuyu’s fingers were absent-mindedly drawing on her back.

Then there was a small noise above her which caused a stir in the dozing. It was a little sniffle. Opening her eyes, she looked at the screen. It was quite a way into the movie now and she could see that the dogs and cats were fighting a common enemy. Obviously the noise wasn’t coming from the TV so she shifted and looked up.

Tzuyu was crying, sniffling softly to herself - eyes on the screen.

“Tzuyu?” Elkie lifted her head, concerned, “What’s the matter?”

“The dogs and cats started working together,” Tzuyu sniffled, “Why couldn’t they just get along from the start?”

She had expected Elkie to laugh at her or call her cute, but instead when she looked down the older girl was just staring up at her.

“What?” Tzuyu sniffed,

“I love you.”

ASDFGHJKL

“I-I…you what!?”

“I love you, Tzuyu.”

“B-Because I’m crying over the movie?”

Elkie chuckled and sat up, “Not just the movie. Everything! You’re sweet, caring and funny. I love you Tzuyu, you don’t need to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

Tzuyu sniffled again, “Now I’m crying for different reasons.”

Elkie laughed and met her halfway for a kiss.

“I love you too.” Tzuyu whispered as she pulled away,

Elkie grinned, “So…will you be my girlfriend?”

Tzuyu pretended to think for a minute, “Nah!”

Elkie scoffed and immediately brought her hands to Tzuyu’s sides, tickling her into submission.

“How rude!?”

“Stop…haha…Elkie!…Stop it….haha…I’m kidding! Of course I’ll be your girlfriend!” Tzuyu laughed until Elkie withdrew her hands,

“Good.” She poked out her tongue,

Wrapping her arms round her now girlfriend, Elkie snuggled back into her original position. Smiling to herself as Tzuyu pecked the top of her head.

“I love you.” She said happily,

“I love you too.”

Man she liked hearing that.

_____

Elkie had offered to cook dinner since Tzuyu’s parents wouldn’t be home until tomorrow morning.

After trying to help and ending up covered in bolognese sauce, Tzuyu was banned from helping and was therefore only able to sit at the kitchen table watching. It was very domestic and both found they liked this new part of their relationship. For Tzuyu, it was a lot different from what she had with Siyeon. That was the beginning of something, it was built from sexual attraction and lust. While they never acted on these things, the basis of what they had was attraction.

And while she still felt all those things for Elkie it just ran deeper. She didn’t want to be there with her, she needed to be. With Siyeon they both had to hide everything from those around them, scared of the repercussions of them being together. But Tzuyu wanted to shout her love for Elkie from the rooftops. She wanted to tell everyone they met that she loved her. No more fear of being cast out or looked at like a freak.

The people that mattered loved her and that’s all that Tzuyu needed really. She had her family and her friends. Sure, the acceptance of society around her would be nice but sometimes life wasn’t fair that way.

_DINGDONG_

Both girls looked towards the front door, then at each other in confusion.

“Who’s that?” Elkie asked,

Tzuyu shrugged, “My parents are away and Rosé and the girls call from outside.”

Elkie turned away from the stove, looking worried. After the doorbell rang again, Tzuyu got up from the table. Not wanting her to answer the door alone, given the violent messages being left on their social medias after the match. She wasn’t the most threatening person but Elkie would throw down if needed. Tzuyu was the one to open the door, however. Pulling it open slowly. When the ringer of the doorbell was revealed both girls were very surprised.

“Chaeyoung?”

The blonde girl awkwardly raised a hand, “Hey…”

“Uhh…” Tzuyu raised an eyebrow, “Hey…”

She looked nervous, stood there on Tzuyu’s porch playing with her fingers. Unsure of what else to say Tzuyu exchanged a look with Elkie who only shrugged in response.

“Chaeyoung,” Tzuyu began, “This is Elkie - my girlfriend.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes widened and Elkie was straight on it, she’d heard about all of Tzuyu’s old friends.

“If you have an issue with that leave now.” Elkie warned, “Because I’m not having anyone disrespect her in her own house.”

“I don’t!” Chaeyoung immediately said, hands up in defense, “I just….”

She sighed and looked a Tzuyu meaningfully.

“Can we talk, please?”

Tzuyu nodded and looked back at Elkie.

“I’ll finish dinner,” She said, then glared pointedly at the stranger, “If you need anything, Tzu, just yell.”

She then went back inside. After she was gone, Tzuyu stepped out on to the porch and crossed her arms. Chaeyoung stayed where she was, probably trying to organise her thoughts. The taller girl just watched her, it had been a while since they’d been in such close contact. Tzuyu didn’t really know what to say, though seeing as it wasn’t her fault this rift was caused she felt no need to start this conversation. Chaeyoung could say what she had to then get off her property…well her parents’ property.

“I came to apologise.” She finally admitted,

“Okay…?” Tzuyu didn’t trust her,

“Seriously,” Chaeyoung sighed, “I should’ve stood up for you more.”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t need you to stand up for me, Chae.” Tzuyu told her, “I needed a friend, y’know - some support!”

Chaeyoung looked down, ashamed, “I get that. I really do. But you have to understand, I was scared.”

“Oh, you were scared!?” Tzuyu snapped, getting mad, “How do you think I feel?”

“Sorry, that was insensitive.” Chaeyoung groaned, rubbing her eyes in frustration, “I’m trying Tzuyu, really. I feel so guilty I can’t eat, I can’t sleep.”

She did look thinner.

“That’s not my problem.”

“It’s not,” Chaeyoung continued, “You’re right. But dammit Tzu, I miss you. I miss studying with you and making fun of Nayeon. I miss our deep talks and rolling our eyes at our boy crazy unnies. I’m ready to be brave, Tzuyu.”

Tzuyu nearly believed her.

“Well you’re too late.”

Chaeyoung looked away, out across the driveway the way she always did when trying not to cry. Then her gaze snapped back to Tzuyu’s, eyes hard and determined.

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

Tzuyu huffed, “Prove it. Prove that all of this is true.”

“How?”

“Figure it out.”

Chaeyoung nodded, “I will. I’m not turning my back on you again Tzuyu.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” Tzuyu studied her, “What would the girls say?”

Then Chaeyoung noticed it, the hurt on Tzuyu’s face. Still reeling from Sana’s choice of words, Mina’s rejection, from Jihyo’s back turning. All of it had an affect, one that Chaeyoung hadn’t considered. She had been so focused on not being bullied alongside her, she’d abandoned her completely. No wonder Tzuyu didn’t believe her. Chaeyoung wouldn’t have believed herself either.

“The others…they’ll come around. Just give them time.”

Tzuyu scoffed, “I’m tired of waiting. I’m not standing around and hoping they give me the time of day, if they want to rebuild our friendship then it’s on them.”

“Just like it’s on me.”

“Yep.”

They were silent for a while. Each mulling over what the other said.

“I should go.” Chaeyoung said after a while,

“You should.”

Chaeyoung began walking away, but turned back once more before going, “But I will Tzuyu…I’ll prove it.”

Tzuyu just looked away.

_I’ll believe it when I see it._


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four - Proving It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE

****

** **Chapter Twenty-Four - Proving it** **

Chaeyoung had thought over Tzuyu’s words all night and well into school the next day.

It was lunch, as it so often was when important moments in their lives happened. Chaeyoung and the girls were sat at their usual table in the dead centre. Her eyes, however, were on a table at the far end of the room when Tzuyu was sat laughing with Rosé, Lisa, Jisoo and Jennie. Her usually quiet friend engaging in the conversations and actually enjoying the subject matter. Not just half-heartedly listening and reacting when asked. It made Chaeyoung wonder when it really was that Tzuyu started pulling away.

How long had she known about herself being gay? Did she know when Dowoon asked her out? It would explain why she blew up on Jeongyeon the way she did. Though Jeongyeon did herself no favours in that situation. Chaeyoung had thought Jeongyeon’s reaction was stupid, but she was a go-with-the-flow type person and, like the others, had expected Tzuyu to apologise. In some ways Chaeyoung was glad she hadn’t.

As sad as she felt to admit it, distancing herself from them was the best thing to happen to Tzuyu. Looking at her at the other table and seeing how hard she was laughing or seeing her kiss Elkie at the match completely ignoring the glares…this wasn’t the Tzuyu she knew. This was an evolved version, a happier version. A Tzuyu completely comfortable in her own skin. Ultimately, Chaeyoung was proud of her. That wouldn’t change even if Tzuyu didn’t forgive her.

“Friday was humiliating.” Jihyo sighed, “We need to retrain the midfielders, Cube ran circles around us.”

“It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Nayeon soothed, “Their goal keeper was unstoppable.”

“Almost like it was personal.” Mina commented, quietly,

Chaeyoung caught it, “Why would it be personal?”

Mina’s eyes flicked up and they read nothing but guilt. During their stare down, Momo and Heechul arrived and immediately noticed the tension.

“Hey guys…what’s going on?”

Chaeyoung kept her gaze on Mina, “Did…Did you know?”

“Know what?” Momo asked,

Mina looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“About Tzuyu. Did you know?”

All eyes went to Mina, all waiting for an answer. She stayed quiet, though her gaze went to the table.

That’s when Momo clued in, “Why wont you tell us what you talked to Tzuyu about?”

More silence.

“Mina, c’mon.” Jihyo sighed, throwing her fry back down on the tray,

After a moment, Mina sighed and looked up, “She came out to me when I went to see her.”

“And you didn’t say anything!?” Nayeon asked, angrily,

“No, I was ashamed of how I reacted.” Mina explained, “She came out and I was so surprised that when she confessed she liked me---”

“SHE LIKES YOU!?” Sana errupted,

“Shhh!” Jihyo snapped, “Continue Mina.”

Mina swallowed, “Out of reflex I…called her a dyke.”

Chaeyoung slowly began going red, “You what?”

“Mina---” Nayeon began,

“I panicked.” Mina whined, “I didn’t mean to and I felt awful as soon as I said it.”

Chaeyoung couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Not only had Mina known the ENTIRE time, but when Tzuyu had opened up to her she had called her a slur.

“Well…” Sana pouted, “She technically is.”

“And you didn’t mean to say it either,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “It was a mistake, who cares? She shouldn’t be so sensitive.”

Chaeyoung was furious, who were they to wave this off so easily!?

“As the token gay,” Heechul began, “I don’t think you guys realise how those words effect people--”

“You call yourself Momo’s Homo.” Sana pointed out,

“Yeah.” Heechul deadpanned, “I can say it. You can’t.”

Dahyun snorted, “No offense but isn’t that unfair? Banning certain words only for certain groups? Like there are plenty of straight-hating gays. Have you seen Twitter!?”

Chaeyoung blinked at her, like the rose tinted glass of her friend group shattered.

“Straight people don’t get attacked in the streets by gay people for holding hands with their partner.”

“Yeah well, your biased Heechul.” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes,

Chaeyoung opened her mouth to intervene but…Momo of all people beat her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys!?” Momo finally snapped, “She’s our friend or have you all just forgotten that?”

“Momo…” Nayeon began, “We can’t be friends with her. What would everyone else say?”

“Who cares!?” Momo snapped,

“She’s never done anything to us and the moment she does something to make herself happy then we cast her out. It’s wrong.” Chaeyoung spoke up,

Jihyo looked at her, “I don’t like it either, Chae. But what’s the point of getting ourselves bullied too?”

“Because friendship means more than that.” Chaeyoung told her, “Don’t you even miss her!?”

“Of course I do…”

“Then why avoid her!?”

Silence.

Sensing nobody had anything else to say, Momo decided she was over it. Slamming her hands on the table she stood up. Heechul preparing to follow.

“Where are you going?” Sana asked,

“To sit with my friend.” Momo replied, “You coming, Chae?

Chaeyoung looked once more over their faces, when she saw no one else budging she made up her mind. Now was the time to prove to Tzuyu that she was serious.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

The trio stood up and walked away. She wouldn’t lie, Chaeyoung had to swallow her nerves as they approached Tzuyu’s table. The closer they got the more it felt like people were staring. Let them stare, Tzuyu was her friend. She didn’t care any more if the whole world knew that. As they approached the table went quiet with Lisa and Jennie noticeably bristling, ready to defend the others at the table. Tzuyu looked surprised, but caution was all over her face - not letting her show a reaction until she knew what was happening.

“Can we sit with you?” Momo asked,

“Why?” Lisa asked,

Chaeyoung felt her heart pounding in her ears, so decided to let Momo take the lead.

“We haven’t been good friends to Tzuyu,” Momo said, “But we want to be.”

“You’re not scared of being called names?” Tzuyu asked, “Being beaten up?”

Heechul laughed, “I mean, I do anyway!”

Chaeyoung found her voice, “I’m not scared. We miss you, Tzu. Let us prove it.”

Something in Tzuyu’s dark eyes lightened a little and she nodded. Chaeyoung felt like celebrating but she knew she had a lot more to prove. The first step was sitting down and having a very public lunch with her friend. So she did. Momo and Heechul taking the seats opposite and immediately beginning a conversation with Rosé.

It was awkward at first, but over the course of the lunch period the conversation got more and more easy. There were no secret eyerolls or awkward topics that not everyone wanted to engage in. It surprised the newcomers how open and inviting the Blackpink girls were once you got through their defences. Chaeyoung found herself getting along with Rosé, bonding over their shared name. Rosé’s real name was Chaeyoung, she just used her English name out of convenience.

Though the best part had been Tzuyu. Slowly, she began to open back up too and finally Chaeyoung got to spend time with her friend again. She told them how Elkie had asked her to be her girlfriend and explained what had happened with the girl from the pictures. It was nice, finally being back in her life. Chaeyoung had really missed her friend.

She didn’t know if she could ever make up for the pain she had caused.

But lord knows, she’s willing to try.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five - Another Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late after an emotionally draining day - sorry for the wait

** **Chapter Twenty-Five - Another Party** **

** **

Tzuyu was pretty sure she’d regret this.

Chaeyoung was having a party for her birthday and after hanging out with Tzuyu and her friends all week the invitation had been extended to them. To the short girl’s credit, both she and Momo had made a huge effort to prove that they were there for Tzuyu. Chaeyoung had even gona as far as to invite Elkie to the party too, wanting to get to know her friend’s girlfriend. Elkie on her part wasn’t to keen on spending time with the people that bullied her girl, but Tzuyu thought they should go and in order to protect her Elkie agreed.

They decided to show up a little bit later, when everybody would be a little bit tipsy. Hopefully, merry and happy drunks wouldn’t cause as many problems. When the more violent personalities came out a little later they could leave. Though Chaeyoung had told them she had made Yugyeom promise to kick out anybody that said anything to them. Tzuyu had only met the boy a couple of times and he seemed okay, not really caring about the affairs of others.

When they arrived, bass music was thumping through the house and there were people everywhere. Countless bodies thronging together to the beat of the music. Everyone from school was here and flashbacks to Daniel’s party were ready and waiting. It made Tzuyu feel a little bit sick, her stomach twisting at the memories. That party was where everything changed for her and while she was comfortable where she was at now, it had sparked a long and painful battle.

She jokingly blamed Rosé.

_“See the others?”_ Elkie asked, slipping into Mandarin,

They were planning to lay low and didn’t fancy being eavesdropped on. Not that anyone could really hear over the loud music. Tzuyu looked over the masses for anyone she knew. Momo was dancing in the centre of the makeshift dance floor with Taemin and sent Tzuyu a wave when they locked eyes. She didn’t have the heart to drag Momo from her crush and so instead she turned back to Elkie and suggested they get a drink.

Squeezing her hand tightly, Tzuyu led her girlfriend to the kitchen. She had been to Chaeyoung’s house quite a lot, to the point she could navigate it with her eyes closed. Elkie just held on tight, not wanting to lose her in the crowd. Everyone was too busy doing their own thing to really take notice of the couple squeezing through. Tzuyu was kind of glad she didn’t have to clean all this up tomorrow as she usually did when her friends had parties. Chaeyoung had asked Momo, Taemin and Yugyeom to help out tomorrow so that they could all “bond”.

Tzuyu was very supportive of her friends’ heterosexual endeavours. Providing they were fine with her homosexual ones. It was a mutual respect thing.

They made it to the kitchen unscathed and just as suspected the drinks were all set up on the kitchen island. Elkie walked over to see if she could work out what wasn’t spiked. This left Tzuyu a few steps back just observing. When her eyes left her girlfriend pouring drinks, she was met with the honey eyes of someone else. Sana was sat on counter by the sink, Wonho was stood in front of her also staring at them. Only as opposed to the sad look on Sana’s face, his was twisted into one of disgust.

Tzuyu just rolled her eyes and went back to waiting for Elkie to hand her a drink.

“Hey…” Sana called quietly,

Tzuyu looked over, “Hey.”

“H-How are you?”

Tzuyu raised an eyebrow in response. Luckily, Elkie turned round and handed her a red solo cup. As she took it from her with a ‘thank you’. There was a scoff from next to them and immediately the defences went up.

“Did you say something?” Elkie asked, looking at Wonho,

“No.” Wonho snapped, “But I should. Someone needs to tell you what you’re doing is immoral.”

He stepped forward but Sana pulled him back gently.

“Yes actually,” Elkie said, “We’ve gotten the memo and decided we don’t give a shit.”

“Well I think---”

“Babe,” Sana interrupted, switching to her cutesy face, “Why don’t you go and get me a drink?”

“But…the drinks are like, right there.”

“Then just go away.” Sana told him,

He looked flustered for a moment before awkwardly walking out of the room.

“Sorry about him.”

Tzuyu just nodded, tired of all of the constant battles. Before Sana could say anything else, Elkie saved her again. Knowing now was not the time or place to potentially have an argument with someone that used to be her friend.

“Trust me to need to pee immediately after pouring a drink.” She said, loud enough for Sana to hear, “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Oh! I’ll show you, come on.” Tzuyu grabbed her hand and whispered a quick Mandarin, “ _Thank you!”_

Once again leading the way, Tzuyu walked Elkie upstairs. They passed a few couples making out on the stairs and Elkie joked that maybe they should too just to bother everyone. Tzuyu just tugged her hand, indicating she needed to shut up before they got in trouble. Her girlfriend did speed up but laughed as she did so. Luckily, the bathroom was empty so Elkie immediately ducked in leaving Tzuyu stood by the bannister holding the drinks.

For a moment she closed her eyes, letting the bass of the music vibrate her chest. Already emotionally drained. Maybe she could ask Elkie to help her find Chaeyoung for an obligatory appearance and then leave. That idea sounded more and more appealing. She felt the floorboard shift when someone stopped in front of her, she opened her eyes expecting Elkie. She jumped when she saw a guy standing there.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Tzuyu settled her heart, “It’s fine.”

“You’re Tzuyu right?”

“Yeah..?”

He smirked, “You’re reputation proceeds you.”

Tzuyu blinked, “Huh?”

“Everyone says you’re beautiful,” He complimented, “To beautiful to be…well y’know.”

“Gay?” Tzuyu asked, irritated,

“Yeah. You don’t look it!”

“What does gay look like?”

He shrugged, “Like a dude, I guess.”

Tzuyu sighed, “Did you want something?”

He smirked again, stepping right into her personal space and trapping her between him and the bannister, “It was more…do you want something? I can offer you a night that’ll make you forget all about your little girlfriend.”

She wrinkled her nose and tried to push him away, “No thanks.”

“C’mon, what does your girlfriend have that I don’t?” He stepped even closer, pushing his lower half against her, “Wait…I know.”

Tzuyu froze in fear, silently wishing Elkie would get out of the bathroom soon.

“Get off her, Kai.” A new voice ordered,

He paused and sighed angrily, “Back off Jihyo, she’ll be better off for it.”

Tzuyu was tugged out from under his clutches and tucked safely behind Jihyo. The older girl glared at him with Daniel looking equally as angry from her side. The liquid in the cups was now all over both Tzuyu and the floor but right now she didn’t care.

“Let me walk you out buddy.” Daniel said clapping him on the back,

He protested but Daniel just pushed him and forced him away. This left Tzuyu and Jihyo stood in an awkward silence, Tzuyu trying to shake her arms dry from the spilt drinks.

“Are you okay?” Jihyo asked,

“Yeah,” Tzuyu sighed, “It happens more than you’d think.”

Jihyo frowned but said nothing.

Tzuyu decided she would have to go in the bathroom after Elkie got out and wash her arms. She felt all gross and sticky.

“You haven’t talked to me in a while.” Jihyo blurted out,

“Wait…what!?” Tzuyu was stunned, “I haven’t talked to you? You’re kidding…”

Jihyo sighed, “I know, we froze you out. But we all thought…I thought you’d come back to us. After your fight with Jeongyeon we thought you would apologise.”

“And what would I be apologising for?” Tzuyu asked, blindsided, “For saying no to a guy I wasn’t interested in? Or for Jeongyeon’s boyfriend getting pissy because she couldn’t control me?”

“Okay, okay,” Jihyo held up her hands in surrender, “It’s not that you were in the wrong. But you were always the one to keep the peace so we just assumed.”

“You assumed…” Tzuyu sighed, “Y’know what the worst part of the last few months was, Jihyo?”

Jihyo stayed silent.

“It wasn’t the abuse, the fear, the abandoment.” Tzuyu listed off, “It wasn’t my own friends using slurs like everyday language or inner self-loathing. It was you. That day in the cafeteria when they threw food at me. You turned your back on me, Jihyo. I looked to you for help, as my big sister. And you turned away.”

“Tzuyu, I---”

“No!” Tzuyu snapped, taking them both by surprise, “I’m talking. At least Chaeyoung and Momo had apologised. Would it kill you to just apologise? For the great God Jihyo to say she was sorry? Would that be to much to ask?”

Jihyo stayed quiet.

Tzuyu sighed, “I thought Mina calling me the d word was bad, but this…this hurts more.”

Suddenly, a hand wrapped round her waist. Stilling slightly, Tzuyu looked to her right and saw Elkie there.

“ _Everything okay?”_ Elkie asked in Mandarin,

_“I’ll tell you everything in a second.”_ Tzuyu looked back to Jihyo, “I’m going to find my real friends. Thanks for saving me and all. Tell Daniel too.”

“S-Sure…”

Tzuyu let Elkie slowly pull her away, “Bye Jihyo.”

As she was led away Jihyo stared after her. Something she couldn’t explain snapping in her chest. She hadn’t meant to leave Tzuyu behind like that, but she understood her anger. Jihyo could understand the hurt she would have felt. Because as she watched them leave, something in her chest snapped in half. Hurting in a way she had never experienced before. It was her own fault, she could recognise that.

But all the same…

Watching Tzuyu turn her back on her broke her heart into a million pieces.

And she had to live with the knowledge that it was all her fault.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six - As Bros

** **Chapter Twenty-Six - As Bros** **

** **

_Knock, knock, knock._

Tzuyu was getting ready for school when someone knocked on her bedroom door. It was Monday and time for more fun, fun, fun at the hell whole commonly known as JYP High School. Tzuyu used to not mind going, Rosé didn’t call her a goody-goody for nothing. But recently, with the bullying and the general abuse she had flung at her daily, Tzuyu no longer found school to be a safe place. Part of her wanted to see if she could go to Cube with Elkie instead, but she only had a few months before graduation. It wouldn’t be worth moving now.

She told whoever was knocking to wait a moment while she finished buttoning her shirt. Once sure that she was decent, Tzuyu let the knocker know it was safe to come in. It was her father, looking excited. His face reminded Tzuyu vaguely of when she and her siblings were kids and about to open their Christmas presents. Their father always bought the presents, being a big kid himself. Every Christmas his face would light up and he practically vibrate with anticipation for them all to open their gifts.

“Morning, Papa.”

“Hey Chocolate!” He greeted,

“Why do you look so happy?” Tzuyu asked, looking at him confused,

He bounced a couple times in excitement before walking over to her bed and sitting down, patting the spot next to him. She was still very perplexed, but followed and sat down.

“I’ve been talking to your mother,” He began, “And we both agreed you’ve been through a lot over the last few months.”

That was an understatement.

“So, we decided to give you your graduation present early.”

Tzuyu’s interest peaked!

Her father leaned back and began rooting around in his jeans pocket. After a moment he produced a small object and threw it to her. Tzuyu, luckily, caught it before it hit her face and discovered it to be a key. Her heart began racing and a large grin spread across her face. This wasn’t just any key…this was the key to the motorbike she and her father had been building over the last few months. Letting out an uncharacteristic squeal, Tzuyu flung her arms round her father and he chuckled at her display.

“No way!”

Mr Chou laughed, “Yes way!”

“I thought we were building it for a client!” Tzuyu said after pulling away, staring at the key in her hands,

“We were,” He told her, “You just didn’t know you were the client.”

Tzuyu looked up at him, “Can I ride it to school!?”

“Yeah,” He sighed, jokingly, “I think you’ve been punished enough. Besides - taking you to school was really messing up my routine.”

She nudged him with her shoulder, “Sorry to be an inconvenience.”

“I forgive you.”

Tzuyu bit back a snappy retort, not wanting to risk being grounded and losing her new bike.

She would die before that happened.

______

Part of Tzuyu had wanted to ride her motorbike all the way to school and have a badass movie entrance moment.

But sadly, she couldn’t risk anything happening to her bike and there was no guarantee that someone wouldn’t mess with it.

Instead, she had parked up a few streets away and stuffed her jacket in her back pack. Her helmet fit in a compartment on the bike so nobody would know to go looking for her bike either. Honestly, she could probably fix anything anyone tried doing to it even if it would be annoying to do so. Her real fear was that someone would steal it, she would be devastated if that happened. This bike was now her baby and Elkie had been forced via text message to accept her position as step-parent.

Walking into school she was met with the usual chaos. Students desperately trying to copy homework before the first bell or gushing about the upcoming school dance. Tzuyu could only roll her eyes at the display. Rosé and Heechul had told her that gay couples weren’t allowed at school dances because they were viewed as ‘controversial’ and parents would complain. It kind of sucked, Tzuyu usually liked going to the school dances. So it left her a little put out that she couldn’t go with Elkie.

Part of her had always dreamed of the perfect Prom night.

Pushing away the thought, Tzuyu made her way to her locker. She had gone through a phase of avoiding her locker, the word scratched into the metal upsetting her. However, once she was back talking to her friends, Jisoo had found a large sticker to cover it. It was a Star Wars sticker, the character Yoda. Because apparently he and Tzuyu had matching ears and the girls found this hilarious. Tzuyu didn’t quite get it but if it made them happy then whatever.

Opening her locker she began looking for her English book. That was her first period class, the only one she had with Heechul and Momo. Of the three of then Tzuyu was the best at English, but even then not by much. They all mutually hated the subject and wished to burn their English books to cinders. But sadly they still needed it to pass their final exams. What a shame!?

A hand gently tapped her shoulder, distracting her from the unending hatred of English. She turned and was stunned to see Dowoon. Dowoon had been avoiding her ever since she rejected him and Tzuyu found herself quite nervous. He hadn’t really shown any reaction when she was outed. Never yelled at her or came to insult her, mostly he’d just stayed in the shadows. Tzuyu was scared because she had absolutely no idea what was going to happen next.

“Hi.” He greeted,

“Hi..” Tzuyu repeated back,

“How have you been?”

Tzuyu blinked, surprised, “Fine, you?”

A lie but she felt the need to keep the conversation going.

“I’m good.”

Deciding to rip off the bandage, Tzuyu sighed, “Look Dowoon, I owe you--”

“Tzuyu,” He held up a hand to stop her, “You don’t owe me anything. I came to apologise for my reaction to your rejection. I should have been more gracious, I let my emotions get the better of me and I’m sorry for that.”

Well…that was unexpected.

“I’m not exactly blameless,” Tzuyu told him, “I lied about my reasons for rejecting you, I should’ve been honest.”

Dowoon shrugged, an easy smile on his face, “I get it. You were going through something really scary, anybody would have lied.”

Tzuyu felt herself relax, “Still, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, we’re good.”

His eyes drifted past her to the poster on the wall behind her. She turned and saw it was for the dance.

“You going?” She asked,

“Day6 are playing.”

“Aw man,” Tzuyu frowned, “It’s been so long since I’ve heard you guys play.”

Dowoon cocked his head, “You not going?”

“The school don’t want complaints from parents for exposing their children to the gays.” Tzuyu half joked, “So it means my girlfriend can’t come too.”

“Why don’t you go with friends?”

“Rosé and Lisa are bailing in protest and Jennie and Jisoo are banned. Momo and Chaeyoung are going but they have dates.”

Dowoon hummed and thought for a moment, “I’ll take you if you want.”

“Dowoon….”

“Not in a I-still-want-to-date-you way!” He quickly assured, hands up to defend himself, “We coud go as bros. I’ll be playing most of the time but I can join you for a dance or two.”

Tzuyu smiled, “That’s really sweet of you.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “I feel guilty I never stood up for you when everything went down.”

“I don’t even know if I’m going to go.”

Dowoon sighed, “It’s cool. The offer is still there…”

“If I don’t,” Tzuyu decided, “We can go get ice cream.”

“Really!?”

“As bros of course.”

He laughed, “Of course!”

Dowoon held out a fist and Tzuyu reached out her own to bump it.

Then he offered her an escort to class which she readily accepted.

Eager to get to know her new friend better.


	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven - Forgive but not Forget

** **Chapter Twenty-Seven - Forgive but Not Forget** **

** **

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIIING_

“Makes sure to read chapters three and four tonight,” The teacher called, “Be read for a pop quiz on Monday.”

There was a groan but it was drowned out by the shuffling of bags as the class put their stuff away. Tzuyu moved slower than everyone else. Last week some boys started picking on her in the hallway when she was walking to class and Dowoon happened to see. After he’d got them to go away, he told Tzuyu he’d walk her to and from classes for the rest of the year. She couldn’t see him in the doorway and didn’t mind hanging out in the classroom a little longer.

It was nice, having a bodyguard. He would do most of the talking. no longer awkward now that he knew her silence didn’t mean a lack of interest. Lately, he’d been bringing up this girl he was interested in. Her name was Doyeon, she was in one of his classes and they’d clicked after being paired for a project. Tzuyu was happy for him, glad he’d moved on from the turmoil they’d had earlier this year.

Though the longer she took to gather her stuff, the more she noticed someone staring at the back of her head. She sighed, knowing exactly who it was. This was the only class she shared with Mina. Lately, all of her ex-friends had been sending her these wistful looks. Momo had mentioned that even Jeongyeon had caved recently, forgoing her stubbornness to ask Momo how she was doing. Tzuyu nearly laughed at that. With everything that had happened since, she’d completely forgotten about that petty fight with Jeongyeon.

Dahyun was still held up in her religious beliefs which was fine. Tzuyu had long since realised that sometimes people wont change their views. And that’s okay. It’s a shame, but Dahyun had been raised with these beliefs. It would be hard to just cut them out of her head, even if it was the right thing to do. Eunwoo had apologised however, or at least tried to before getting shouted down by a furious Rosé.

Nayeon had taken to sending small smiles in the hallway. Not overly interacting with her but again, Tzuyu no longer really cared if she did or didn’t. She still smiled back. There was no point in glaring or ignoring just to create more animosity. Sometimes things were easier to forgive, even if you don’t want to forget.

But Mina….Mina had been watching her for a while now.

The rare times they made eye contact she always looked like she wanted to say something but ultimately would run away. It had bothered her a little at first, constantly feeling scrutinised by the older girl. But after a while she remembered Mina’s quiet nature. If this was her trying to apologise, it would take her a lot of courage to be the one to instigate such a confrontation. All Tzuyu could do was wait.

She didn’t know if she could forgive Mina, but an apology would at least bring them both closure and Tzuyu was tired of all these loose ends. There were only two more chapters after this one and getting everything wrapped up in time was a headache. Right now all she cared about was coasting to the end of the year and graduating.

“Tzuyu-ah?”

Tzuyu felt familiar electricity run up her back at the sound of _that_ voice calling her name. Don’t misunderstand, she loved Elkie. Her feelings for Mina had long gone, but there was still something there. Almost like a footprint in cement, while the body was long gone the memory of it being there would stay.

“What do you want, Mina?” Tzuyu asked, continuing to put her notebook away,

“I owe you an apology.”

Tzuyu looked up at that, somewhat surprised Mina was really going to do it. It almost seemed to good to be true. The teacher had left to get her own lunch leaving the duo as the only two occupants of the room.

“For which part?” Tzuyu asked, “Because if it’s for rejecting my feelings for you, it’s fine. You had no obligation to like me back - especially given the circumstances.”

“Not for that…specifically.” Mina was playing with her hands, nerves all over her face, “I mainly want to apologise for using that word. I think hearing it around the girls so much put this association in my brain and….”

Tzuyu raised an eyebrow and Mina trailed off before rectifying her speech.

“...no, I’m not going to make excuses.” Mina swallowed, “I called you something cruel and hurtful. I have felt so horrible about ever since I left you that night. It just happened so fast. You were distant, then arguing with Jeongyeon, then you’re gay, then you like me…I panicked. Then everything else happened so quick and I barely had time to realise that you were so obviously panicking too. More so than I was. I understand that now.”

Tzuyu just let her talk, keeping her emotions down.

“I get it if you hate me,” Mina sighed, “I hate me. You were my friend and I treated you horribly. Seeing you with Rosé and Jennie now made me wonder how long you’d been drifting away from us. I’ve never seen you that relaxed while interacting with people. I wish I’d noticed sooner. I wish I’d reacted differently or at the very least apologised sooner.”

Tzuyu crossed her arms.

“I’m sorry, Tzuyu.” Mina said, sincerely, “I really am.”

She stared in silence.

“Please say something.”

“I don’t hate you,” Tzuyu told her, honestly, “But we’re not friends.”

Hurt flashed through Mina’s eyes but Tzuyu felt no guilt for it. She hadn’t realised how angry she still was over that night. But however petty it was, Tzuyu didn’t owe her anything. So she wouldn’t give her anything.

“I accept your apology,” Tzuyu continued, ignoring the diamond tears in her acquaintances eyes, “But I can’t get over what you said to me. At least not yet. Maybe not ever.”

“Tzuyu…”

“Mina, you were someone I trusted.” Tzuyu was firmer now, “I thought you wouldn’t like me back but…to call me what you did. To leave me crying in the rain, alone? That proved you weren’t the person I thought you were. So if you apologised to clear your guilty conscience then I’m sorry, but you said a shitty thing. You should feel shitty for saying it. That’s how you know never to say it again.”

“Uhh….” A new voice called from the door, “I can come back?”

Tzuyu turned and smiled to Dowoon, signalling that it was okay.

“No need,” Tzuyu grabbed her bag, walking to the door without looking back, “I’m done anyway.”

She walked out, Dowoon following.

Mina not letting her tears fall until they were out the door.

_____

“NONONONONO!”

The bedroom door slammed in Tzuyu’s face, leaving her blinking at it in confusion. She’d just gotten home and, after an emotional rollercoaster of a day, she just wanted to curl up in bed. What she hadn’t expected, was for her girlfriend to already be in her bedroom. Nor had she expected to be promptly shut her out the moment she pushed the door open. If she wasn’t so tired, it would’ve been amusing.

“Y’know if you have another girl in there - it’s you’re fault for cheating in my bedroom!” Tzuyu called out dryly,

“Your bed’s comfier!” Was the teasing reply,

Tzuyu rolled her eyes and knocked on the door, “Come on, I want to be in my pyjamas.”

“Just one more second!”

_CRASH!_

“Ow…okay - two more seconds!”

After a moment Elkie opened the door but stood on her tiptoes to block her giant girlfriend’s view of the room.

“Are you okay!?” Tzuyu asked, a little concerned,

“Peachy!”

…

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Tzuyu asked, “I was kidding earlier but if there really is another girl in there--”

“Oh no, no, no!” Elkie was quick to deny, “You’re the only one for me.”

“Good…because you’re too pretty for Lisa and Jennie to mangle your face.”

Elkie held up a finger as if about to offer a counter point, “I know that’s a joke but those two really scare me so lets not go there.”

Tzuyu laughed, “So what’s going on?”

Elkie suddenly went from teasing to adorably shy, “Close your eyes.”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes jokingly and did so. She felt Elkie’s hands on her arms, “Don’t open until I say so.”

Tzuyu nodded.

Carefully, Tzuyu let Elkie guide her into the room. Almost immediately she could smell a candle burning somewhere, or maybe incense? Not the usual one she buys but it was still pleasant to smell. Despite all curiosity, she kept her eyes tightly shut - letting Elkie walk her to what she assumed what the centre of the room. When they stopped, Tzuyu expected her to let go of her arms but Elkie paused a moment.

Then gently pressed her lips to Tzuyu’s. Only for a moment, but it made the blood rush in her ears. When Elkie stepped away completely, she frowned. Feeling a cold spot where she had been standing.

“Okay…open your eyes.”

Tzuyu did so and a mouth dropped.

She had been right about the candles, only it wasn’t just one. They littered the room giving of an orange glow, which turned red when mixed with the light coming through the pink curtains Elkie had put up. There were roses in a vase on her desk and love hearts all over the room. For a moment, Tzuyu looked around in awe, unable to taking everything in all at once. Having to do it piece by piece. It looked like a hallmark card threw up in there and usually, Tzuyu would have cringed.

But the fact that Elkie went to all this effort melted her heart.

Then she looked on the wall behind Elkie and it all clicked together. A message spelt out on bunting, pinned to the wall.

_Will you go to prom with me?_

“This is amazing…” Was all Tzuyu could get out,

Elkie swallowed still looking nervous, playing with the single rose Tzuyu only just noticed was in her hand.

“My prom is on the same night as yours,” Elkie said, “And I know you and Dowoon had plans but…I really want you to come with me.”

“Will anyone--”

“No,” Elkie told her, “And my school has a zero tolerance policy on discrimination so if they do they wont graduate.”

“You’re amazing.” Tzuyu told her, still in awe of the room,

“You’re amazing,” Elkie whispered back, “So…will you go with me?”

Tzuyu met her eyes and smiled, “Of course I will.”

Elkie cheered and jumped into her arms for a hug.

Tzuyu was suddenly overcome with emotions. The anger from her earlier confrontation with Mina and tiredness she had felt were now overwhelmed with this warmth and love. It was like the ice she had been protecting herself with melted and finally she could relax and enjoy the warmth. Surprising herself, she began to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Elkie asked, squeezing her tighter, “A dog and cat getting along again?”

Tzuyu grumbled, gently swaying them, “No…I just had a hard day…I love you.”

“I love you too,” Elkie whispered, “Want to talk about it?”

Tzuyu sniffled and shook her head, not breaking the embrace, “Later…just…”

She pulled away slightly, to look Elkie in the eyes.

“Thank you for loving me.”

Elkie pulled her back in for a firmer hug, “Thank you for letting me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

_And she always will._


	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight - Prom

** **Prom Night** **

** **

Dowoon had taken Tzuyu’s bailing quite well.

Especially because she told Doyeon, who seemed nice, that he was free again and she asked if they could go. Y’know as friends…their blushes meant absolutely nothing at all.

Tzuyu had kept an eye on social media, seeing all her classmates dressed up with their dates. Her ex-friends had made their own group, they had talked earlier in the year about splitting money for a limo and based on their posts they’d gone through with their plan. Tzuyu was happy for them. They all looked great and were happily cuddled up for their dates. Even the photo of Mina and Hyunsik didn’t upset her.

During the confrontation with said girl, she had been able to get all of her resentments off her chest and finally began to move on from that part of her life. Her life had changed for the better and while the road here hadn’t been ideal, here she was. Standing in front of her bedroom mirror, looking at herself in her prom dress.

Elkie was waiting for her downstairs, since Tzuyu was spending the night at her house tonight she assumed her father was giving her the ‘Creased Shirt Speech’. He had given it to all of Victoria’s boyfriends and given it to Jackson before his first ever date. It was basically supposed to be the don’t-have-sex talk. A veiled threat. But in reality it just made no sense.

_“Once a shirt is crumpled, it can never be the same!”_

…Tzuyu assumed he knew of the existence of irons but that never changed the metaphor.

Yeah, either way Tzuyu was in no rush to crash that conversation. While saving her girlfriend woulld usually be top priority, she was way too cringed out by her mother innocently asking if two women could have sex. She had asked Tzuyu’s father unaware of their daughter getting a snack from the kitchen. Her father had just said “They better not be able to. Not till their 35 and married.” and Tzuyu died a little on the inside.

Part of her was nervous. She and Elkie had talked at length about whether or not tonight would be the night. It would, obviously, be Tzuyu’s first time and neither wanted to commit to a step if she wasn’t ready to take it. The elder of the two had calmly explained that whatever happened was okay, be that cuddling or anything more. It took a little bit of pressure off, the lack of expectation. But not all of it.

Tzuyu had no clue what she was doing.

This was never covered in her sex education classes and while she knew the mechanics there was no frame of reference for her to work off of. Elkie had been with a girl before and at least had some idea of what to expect. Tzuyu didn’t. She could ask Rosé and Lisa but...well given their hands on approach to her first kiss she really didn’t want to know what they’d do.

For now she just focused on the present, making sure her outfit looked perfect in the mirror. She had used her motorbike parts money to pay for this strapless pink dress. Jennie and Momo had gone with her to be the devil and angel on her shoulder whilst choosing. Tzuyu loved it, the moment she first put it on she just felt beautiful. She actually felt comfortable. Now she was excited for Elkie to see it.

Finally deciding she was ready, Tzuyu grabbed her overnight bag and left her room. Walking down the stairs she could hear her father talking about shirt pockets, a part of his metaphor. Leaving her bag by the front door she walked into the living room to watch her girlfriends embarrassment. To be honest Elkie just looked confused, having lost the train of conversation when Mr Chou had started describing sleeves.

It was Tzuyu’s mother that spotted her there, hands flying to cover her mouth as she got emotional.

“Honey,” She cooed, interrupting her husband, “You look beautiful!”

Elkie turned and Tzuyu finally got to see her too. She had gone for a slim black dress and Tzuyu thought she was stunning. So stunning in fact that she genuinely felt her heart stop for a moment as she took in the image. Elkie, for her part, was trying not to so obviously check her out after Mr Chou’s presumed celibacy rant.

Mrs Chou dragged her husband from the room to give them a little privacy. He wasn’t happy about it, but one stern look from his wife forced him into going quietly.

Elkie stepped closer, finally able to take in the beauty of her girlfriend.

“You look….wow…”

Tzuyu blushed, looking shy, “Well so do you. You look perfect.”

Elkie smiled, “Tonight will be amazing.”

“You think?”

“I know!” Elkie said, wrapping her arms round Tzuyu’s neck, “First we get to dance together, have fun with my friends, then cuddle up and watch movies all night.”

“But will there be popcorn.”

Elkie pecked her lips softly, “Of course! Sweet and salted, the sinful mix you requested.”

“Whipped.”

“Oh obviously!”

Tzuyu laughed.

“Now…” Elkie grinned at her, “Let’s get some pictures!”

Tzuyu returned her smile.

Tonight _would_ be amazing.

______

And it was amazing.

The Cube school gymnasium was decorated with streamers and lights. Everyone having fun and dancing to the music being played by a pretty awesome DJ. Sure, the live band JYP proms had every year were something special but the atmosphere here was different. Nobody looked over or judged them, they were all too wrapped up in their own lives to care.

Tzuyu held Elkie’s hand most of the night, not because she was nervous but because she wanted to. She kept offering to let go but her girlfriend would only smile and squeeze her hand in reply. Telling her that she didn’t mind. Her friends once again made Tzuyu feel welcomed, even kidnapping her to dance at points just to annoy Elkie. It was light and fun, dancing like idiots in the centre of the room like they didn’t care about anyone else.

Towards the end of the night they slowed the music down, inviting all partners to slow dance. Elkie pulled Tzuyu onto the dance floor before she could second guess herself. The elder girl wrapped her arms around Tzuyu’s neck and she placed her own on her partners hips. Gently they swayed to the music.

At first it was a little awkward. Tzuyu had never slow danced before, but Elkie kept their eyes locked - slowly relaxing her. Soon they were just swaying, wrapped up in their own little bubble. Tzuyu was the one to lean down and rest her forehead on Elkie’s just enjoying this moment. The soft music playing around them, soft tunes weaving through all the couples on the floor. Both girls felt invisible.

Hidden in between the couples dancing around them. Caught up in their own private moment that nobody else could see. There was something so intimate about it that scene, the two of them the only ones lit amongst the darkness of the dance floor. Tzuyu realised then that there was no one she would rather share this moment with. Nobody in the world that she would rather be here with.

Opening her eyes she met Elkie’s, eyes swimming with unexpressed emotion that worried the elder girl for a moment. But then Tzuyu smiled and all fear was wiped from her mind.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Elkie whispered back,

Hearing those word solidified Tzuyu’s choice to her. The song beginning to slow to end.

“We should head home soon,” Elkie told her, “It’s getting late.”

Tzuyu nodded, then took a deep breath. The song changing to something more upbeat but neither girl stepping away.

“El…” Tzuyu began,

“Yes?”

“I’m ready.”

The words sunk in and Elkie smiled, “Are you sure?”

Tzuyu thought for a moment, then nodded. Confidently.

“Yeah…I’m ready.”

Elkie stepped out of the embrace, taking Tzuyu’s hand in hers. They went to say goodbye to Elkie’s friends and they all sent a knowing look which turned them both bright red. But who cared if they knew what was going to happen? Tzuyu was happy….she was sure of herself for the very first time. She loved Elkie. Elkie loved her. It was only about them now, the rest of the world didn’t matter.

Tonight was about them.

And it was perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN - Last chapter next!


	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine - Girl Talk 2

** **Chapter Twenty-Nine - Girl Talk 2** **

** **

Tzuyu always hated Mondays.

Usually she was an individual the preferred the quiet solace of her own personal space. School was literally the polar opposite to her preference. Unluckily for her, Tzuyu had been under constant torment from her. The uniformed masses crushed together in the hallway, focused on torturing her for the longest time. Until recently, when finals began and suddenly she was back to being blissfully ignored.

Tzuyu’s friends weren’t popular either. Lisa and Rosé were similar to herself, the only lesbian couple in school and members of the most notorious group of troublemakers. But they had always been kind to Tzuyu, nurturing her and protecting her like she was their own little baby gay. She would forever value their friendship and everything they had done for her. The other two members of the troublemaker group, Blackpink, were Jisoo and Jennie. Jennie had taken a while to warm up to Tzuyu but now she would happily kick the shit out of anyone caught upsetting her.

Heechul and Momo, her other friends, were cheerleaders. They weren’t like the other cheerleaders though. But when Heechul came out as gay they both broke from the norm so that he could live a more comfortable life. Momo was loyal to a fault and always ready to stand by whoever was in the right. Neither cared

The last two members of the group were Dowoon and Chaeyoung. Dowoon had once had an awkward crush on Tzuyu. This had passed though, leaving room for a beautiful friendship to blossom between them. Chaeyoung was popular among the alternative kids. She was the stereotypical indie girl and one of the people Tzuyu held closest to her.

Tzuyu had kind of just fallen in with them though, but something had just clicked with the group. She started the year in a really bad place, feeling completely alone. Rosé and Lisa had pulled her to them and looked out for her unconditionally. The group all adored Tzuyu and she adored them, finally feeling like she was where she was supposed to be.

It always felt like, just by being sat with the group, she was finally accepted. She no longer longed for one on one conversations, the group dynamic made her feel included and loved. Don’t get it wrong, sometimes people would say something mean or barge her in the hall. But they had reputations, Tzuyu was protected and if anyone messed with her they were messing with them all. Because they had each others backs.

“Come on, Momo!” Jisoo whined, “There has to be someone you’re in to.”

“Nope!” Momo smirked, “That dies with me!”

“Didn’t you have a thing with Taeyong?” Heechul asked,

Momo groaned, “Is nothing secret!?”

It was lunch and the group were occupying their usual table at the back of the cafeteria. Jennie had tricked Jisoo into admitting her crush on some guy in their year and now she was trying to get everybody else to admit to crushes. Tzuyu just watched on, amused. She was glad nobody dragged her into these conversations any more. Otherwise they’d be giving Tzuyu an excuse to talk about her beautiful girlfriend, Elkie.

Elkie and Tzuyu had been dating for a while now and were very happy together. They planned to go to the same college, the one that they had been set up at by their family members. It was a mutual decision not to live together though, Tzuyu’s sister was letting her move in with her and Elkie wanted to try the dorms. Neither were ready to move in together, but that was fine. They were content with where they were for now and Elkie made Tzuyu happier than she’d ever been before.

“Y’know…Momo’s not the only one with a crush.” Tzuyu spoke up, eyes flitting to a now nervous Dowoon, “Someone is planning to ask Doyeon out.”

Dowoon went red, “Shut up…”

“Aww,” Rosé pouted, tapping his arm, “You’re a catch. Any girl would be lucky to have you!”

Jokingly, Dowoon sent Tzuyu a look and she laughed.

“Anyone except me.” Tzuyu teased,

“Ew you’re like my sister now…gross.” Dowoon responded,

“I don’t think you should date Doyeon.” Chaeyoung said, suddenly,

All eyes went to her in question.

“Why not?”

“Because what would your ship name be? Dodo?”

Lisa chuckled, “2Do.”

Heechul then winked at her, lowering his voice to a comical ‘manly’ deepness, “Hey girl, you’re on my 2Do list!”

“Now I have my big opening line, thanks Heech!” Dowoon said sarcastically, high-fiving him over Chaeyoung’s head,

Everyone laughed. As they began debating the ideal ship name, Tzuyu just took a second to bask in the chaos. She really couldn’t believe how different her life was now. It was like she had been holding her breath for a long time and was finally able to exhale. At the beginning of the year she had been scared and confused. Tzuyu didn’t know who she was, happy to follow along with the crowd and pretend to be something she wasn’t.

For a long time she had wondered what was wrong with her. Why wasn’t she chasing boys like her friends? Why hadn’t she had her first kiss? Her first boyfriend? Now that she had all the answers, part of her felt silly for caring so much. There was nothing wrong with her. She had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. It had taken a long time for her to feel proud of who she was. But Tzuyu was proud. It had been a very difficult year, hurt and heartache had been thrown from all sides.

But Tzuyu was still here.

Flashing back to the beginning of the year, sat at the centre table in the cafeteria not knowing what was going to happen. Listening to her ex-friends talk about boys and try to convince her to join in despite her obvious disinterest. Looking over at that table now things were different. The girls were all still sat there, talking amongst each other, but the vibe was different. It would never be the same as it was when it had been the nine of them.

Tzuyu had no more resentments for them, any of them. She would talk to them from time to time in class but the air of their discomfort was still present. But that was okay, some people took longer to see the light then others. Even if they never did, that was their problem. Tzuyu had a good life. She had good friends, a great girlfriend, a loving family and a future all ready for her. If the girls at the centre table wanted to be apart of that they can take the steps to earn forgiveness.

Still, there was always a pang of nostalgia as she looked over her old friends.

The memory of Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s bickering taking up the entire lunch period. It was always about something stupid and usually pretty amusing. Jihyo’s mothering nature, the constant checking in and saving her from her unnies torment. Sana’s hugs, while she always tried to wriggle out of them she had begun to miss them. Dahyun’s jokes…

Her eyes landed on Mina.

Part of her thinks she’ll always miss the friendship she had shared with Mina. Partly it was her fault for choosing the worst possible time to let it come out (pardon the pun). But Mina would always be an integral part of her coming out story. Her first crush, her first heartbreak. That would stay with her, it forged a part of her journey. Mina had shoved her away and because of that, Tzuyu was able to thrive. Nobody could guide her so she learned to guide herself.

Suddenly, Mina looked up and they locked eyes.

Tzuyu was a little embarrassed at being caught. While she had sparing conversations with the other girls in classes, most of the time they all ignored each others existence. Mina and Tzuyu especially had no interactions. But again, that was fine. The new Tzuyu was an optimist, she chose to believe the words Chaeyoung had told her when she apologised. The others would come around.

So Tzuyu smiled at her, the first friendly gesture she had made to Mina in a while.

It was a comfort when Mina smiled back.

The duo shared a brief moment which solidified the thought in Tzuyu’s head.

The others would come around.

And even if they didn’t, her life was pretty damn great.

_THE END_

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it’s over! Thank you to everyone who commented, voted, subscribed or partially glanced at this story. I haven’t enjoyed writing in a while but this fic was purely self indulgent and I loved every second of it. It wasn’t the best story ever but I set out to write a coming out story and I’m so happy it connected with some people. You’re all awesome! If you want to leave an upvote before you go or drop one last comment, please do! I love the feedback and thank you all again for reading <3 <3


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